56: Robert Pardi - Possibility in Action: Embracing Impermanence in New York City, Dubai, and Abruzzo, Italy

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What can the imperfections in
the pieces of an ancient Mosaic

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and Michelangelo's David?
Teach us about

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self-actualization how can
daydreaming and activity?

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That were dissuaded from his
children, serve as a powerful

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Catalyst to help us realize a
major life shift.

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And what is the meaning of
possibility in action?

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How can this platform in this
philosophy?

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Liberate us from the land of
regret and prevent us from

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quote, shooting all over
ourselves.

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Stay tuned as we touch on these
and many other topics.

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Picks on this week's episode of
untether your life.

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Welcome to untether your life,
show that empowers you to own

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your own health and break free
of templates for managing

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physical and mental wellness.
And look shaky issues impacting

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the South Asian diaspora.
I am your host and kill torsa

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car.
And I'm passionate about the

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power of conversation to
catalyze change this week.

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We have the pleasure of speaking
with Rob party, a three-time

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best-selling author, compelling
International keynote, speaker

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and transformational life coach
after his Wife passed away for

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metastatic breast cancer, Rob
reimagine, his life and left his

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comfort zone to achieve new
dreams.

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He now shares the many life
lessons, he's learned through

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his work in fashion, his life,
as an example of possibility, in

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Action, a powerful personal
growth philosophy and platform

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prior to his dramatic Life
Changes in New York City.

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Native it spent several years in
the Middle East as senior

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portfolio manager in Abu Dhabi.
And co-founder of the

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dubai-based, private Equity Firm
evolved its capital He now

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spends the majority of his time
in a brute.

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So, Italy outside of traditional
coaching, Robert host personal

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growth Retreats and workshops in
Italy creates micro video

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mindset modules and host the
possibility action podcast and

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with that, let's get untethered.
So Rob, it's great to have you

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on.
Hey, it's actually great to be

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here.
I love the show.

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I love the name on tethered, so
that's something I really

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resonate with and looking
forward to our conversation.

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Rob.
If you want to go ahead, if you

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want to share anything, Beyond
what I had shared before we dive

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in heart of the life's journey,
right?

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It all starts with with mindset.
So I was lucky enough to be

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curious and one of the things
that I've carried with me, the

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whole time is wondering, what it
would be like to pull something

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off.
Instead of if I'd fail, that's

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what underlies that whole idea.
So as we're going forward,

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talking about it at least people
have that context.

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So you are now in the beautiful
Village of Italy, but But it's

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quite a long ways from where you
grew up.

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Maybe if you can tell us a
little bit more about your

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background and how you got to
this point in a tiny village in

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Italy.
Sure.

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And it really is a tiny village.
There's only 900 people.

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Wow, and I have a castle in my
backyard.

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Five minutes away by foot.
So, New York City Kid born and

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raised in New York, you know, I
was born in the Bronx, I lived

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in Harlem Queens, then further
out on Long Island for a while

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but my childhood which I was
blessed to have actually because

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You being a lot of life skills.
I grew up with an abusive

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alcoholic father that really
did.

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Teach me early on about grit
resilience crafting your life

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being intentional his mother.
So my paternal grandmother would

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tell me.
Look at your father, he's an

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example of what you don't want
to be but cautionary tale I

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guess you could say, right?
Yeah, really a cautionary tale.

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And also at tailed to, to
embrace Possibility and to walk

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away from what would be
considered the norm?

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She would always tell me that
you could do anything you want

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in life and so forth, which was
different than what my father

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was telling me.
But there came a point in time

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where I actually grew strong
enough to actually fight back

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then, the dynamic changed of
course, because he was a typical

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bully, and as soon as I could
protect myself, the physical

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abuse went away, but there was
always the mental abuse of

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nobody likes you or this or that
at the other thing.

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And sometimes words can be more
Destructive in essence, right?

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My, my journey personally was to
overcome some of those words.

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It wasn't the physical aspects
for me, but it was that idea of

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no one likes you, you're never
gonna have friends.

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I used to like to write when I
was a kid and he would hit me

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because it was a feminine thing
to do to use a nice word instead

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of the word she used.
But all of that empowered me.

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And so at a very young age, I
started thinking about safety.

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D.
I started thinking about freedom

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and to a 13 year old kid.
What does that mean?

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Money Ronnie, and I grew up in
the age of Ronald Reagan.

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Gordon Gekko.
Worried is good, right?

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That was your Mantra back then.
Right down to El money was good.

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Not necessarily greed, bloody
weird.

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And so that's how I wound up in
finance.

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It wasn't a passion.
But it was for me, the quickest

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way to freedom to be
independent.

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In that Journey, my second year,
I was a sophomore.

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I met my wife who is a freshman
and literally she just blew the

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doors off.
Every swept you off your feet

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Tuggle.
Completely swept me off my feet.

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When I met her, I said because
of the experience, I lived

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because of what I saw with my
parents I said I'm not someone

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that ever wants to get married,
I don't want a relationship.

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Want to make a lot of money and
I want to go live on an island

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all by myself.
Okay.

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And that was much, I thing,
right?

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Yeah and she was like, yeah,
that's not gonna happen.

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So we got married very young,
she was 21.

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I was 23 at the height of our
everything and literally I mean

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the height of everything I had
just gotten a job in Abu Dhabi.

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Senior portfolio manager.
I was the youngest one on the

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team.
The pay was really good.

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I had just finished my MBA from
Columbia University.

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My wife was doing an MD PhD.
And so I take the job because we

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both talked about experience.
And for us, we never wanted to

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own anything.
We wanted experience.

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We wanted flexibility and that
fit well with me, because as the

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way, I grew up, I always wanted
that You damn, right.

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Would you say it was?
You were sort of living The

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Nomad lifestyle that was sort of
what you aspire to as a nomadic

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life.
You know, it's funny because

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here's that idea today of The
Nomad lifestyle and I think we

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lived more of an essentialist
type lifestyle where we didn't

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want anything to hold us down.
So we didn't want a car, we

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didn't want to home.
We wanted jobs that would allow

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us to travel if we wanted to go
live in different places.

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Nope.
Pressure of us having children

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this and that.
So there was always that idea

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flexibility.
But until I get the job in Abu

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Dhabi, she just finishes her
PhD.

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She decides to take a
sabbatical.

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She comes out to Abu Dhabi to
live for the year before, going

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back to medical school and to
live in the UAE.

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You have to go through a
medical.

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Screening just, so happened that
right before her 31st birthday,

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in that screening, they found
breast cancer.

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And back then we can't fall to
anyone, and I would never fall

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to anyone.
We were surrounded by amazing

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doctors, but her GYN at that
time.

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This was 1997.
Basically said, you're too young

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for breast cancer.
It doesn't run in your family.

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You have cystic breasts because
in the late 90s it was not

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common.
It was a rarity.

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It was that white elephant for a
woman that age to have had

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breast cancer.
So that sent us in a direction

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of really not only confronting
the disease itself but my wife

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call.
Calling on me and saying Robert.

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Listen, I know enough of
medicine to be dangerous to

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myself.
So therefore, I don't want to be

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involved.
I want you to deal with

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everything.
She didn't know how big the

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tumor was.
How many lymph nodes were

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involved.
She didn't want to know

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anything.
And so I became the middleman

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and to a certain extent, I had
to live her disease.

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She was very clear about what
quality of life meant to her,

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what she was willing and not
willing to do.

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I mean she was very active.
The in her care but she did want

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to participate.
You wanted to show up as a

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patient, get the medicine and
come home.

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Well, it never really went away
back then.

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They didn't have pet scans, the
only had cat-scans.

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So while she was declared any D,
no evidence of disease for about

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nine months just because the cat
scan couldn't pick up that it

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was in her liver.
But during that Journey we

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learned about surrender, we
learned about purpose.

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I came up with my own definition
of purpose that purpose.

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This is when passion comes in
alignment with your values but

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you want to give the results
away.

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I didn't want to be patted on
the back for being a good

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husband or a good caregiver.
But I did leave my job because

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knowing the gravity of her
situation, I wanted to do

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everything.
I could to help her achieve her

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goals.
I wanted to do everything I

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could to live every moment with
her.

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She became the founding director
of palliative care at New York

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Hospital while having metastatic
breast cancer.

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Yeah.
And for people who, I don't know

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that term.
Can you describe what that is

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for the lame.
So palliative care is actually

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really misunderstood
unfortunately, because if I say

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hospice, a lot of people know
what hospices and they equate

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hospice to palliative care.
Hospice is, let's say the end

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service of palliative care.
Palliative care is a discipline

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of medicine that allows you to
live a quality life while

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confronting a chronic or
terminal disease.

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So it's not just about pain
management, it's about

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lifestyle, it really is to help
you live life around the

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disease, which is exactly what
my wife was doing.

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So she said, who better than me
to become an expert in

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palliative care?
Because I'm living it.

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And it's all about patient
choice and all of that.

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So when she passed away and I
had a look at my life, one of

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the things that happens in grief
is that it impacts the identity

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of the Survivor.
I love that.

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Hymns.
So one I say loss is the lack of

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self because your identity is
lost in that moment and security

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because the world feels really
unsafe.

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And so I had to look at my life.
I went back to finance because

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the little boy inside me said,
oh, now this is very scary

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security.
You know, your wife didn't have

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life insurance, you have to
leave your apartment because

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it's Hospital housing.
It was an eleven year Journey

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with breast cancer, you have six
figures in debt, It.

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Wow.
So, and that's not because of

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the medical system in the u.s.,
when my wife was diagnosed, you

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couldn't find a mushroom
supplement, use the barely find

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organic food.
So right, the money I was making

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was going towards that and then
when I left work, it was even

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more difficult.
We had to live off our savings

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sounds like if you had looked
into some options outside of the

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conventional allopathic medical
realm than it sounds like, is

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that correct?
Great was you're breaking my

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supplements, my wife.
Had an amazing oncologist.

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He was an alternative medicine
oncologist.

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So she had chemo, but she also
had acupuncture, she had Reiki.

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She had supplements, she had
Pooja and Indian chanting and

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meditation.
And we send this is in the late

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90s that, right?
I mean, this is, but from 1998

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to 2009, she passed away in
2000.

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Okay.
I mean, it wasn't, it definitely

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wasn't as mainstream as it is
now, right?

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I mean, it was pretty apparent,
shall we?

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Therapy chairs.
You put the headphones on the

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chair would vibrate to a certain
frequency while you were getting

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the chemo.
Just incredible.

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He's the one that brought my
wife and I to Indies to the

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first for the first time.
Yeah, we went to Pratt Tamil

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Nadu.
We spent a lot of time in Tamil

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Nadu, but when she passed away
and I went back to finance, I

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start paying off my debt.
I just kept saying to myself,

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this is not where I'm supposed
to be.

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This is not where I'm supposed
to be and one of the beautiful

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things in grief, you fall apart.
To fall back together.

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And if you think of a mosaic, I
was happy to live in Italy.

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I was lucky to see some
beautiful ancient mosaics, and

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you look at those ancient
mosaics each piece.

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Each individual piece was cut by
hand so they're all imperfect.

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But it's that imperfection,
which creates the depth and the

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beauty of the Mosaic.
Now, my wife is a big piece in

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that beautiful Mosaic sure.
But unfortunately, I didn't have

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the choice of saving her.
This is Slice.

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This is impermanence and so when
I was falling back together, I

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ask myself well.
Okay, I know I'm different

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because all my expectations were
I was going to be this

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investment banker.
This wonderful wife living in

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New York.
My identity has shifted.

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But what do I miss about?
The Robert that passed away with

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Desiree because we do die with
the people that died.

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Our of Heart Of Us does.
And I realized that I loved

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supporting her, I loved watching
her achieve her dreams.

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Love the conversations about
spirituality.

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We had unbelievable
conversations about things

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despite the fact she didn't want
to talk about her own death but

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we talked about because her job
was also palliative care and we

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talked about things that you
extend life, you don't extend

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death, you know, all these
topics.

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So I said, well, I was for life
coach and one of the things I

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believe is just the most,
beautiful instrument, we can use

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and this is something we're
given.

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As we're kids is, our
imagination is date.

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Dreaming daydreaming is not
scary.

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Daydreaming is fun.
Daydreaming is powerful.

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In that when you have a loss,
that's this big there's a big

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hole.
Yeah you can't find something to

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fill that you have to start to
put Pebbles inside and slowly

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fill up the whole those Pebbles
are little Day Dreams and as I

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started daydreaming, the idea of
Italy kept coming up, I'm an

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Italian America.
My grandparents were from Italy.

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So as I started daydreaming, I
thought well, what would Be an

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00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:12,500
amazing story to come from this
loss, to come from this life

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shift and I said, to myself, you
know, what, it's to try to live

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in Italy, and then I said, no,
it's not to try, it's to

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attempt.
Because when we use the word

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try, we've already accepted a
lot of the excuses as to why it

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00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,600
may not happen.
Attempt is more powerful.

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I'm going to attempt this.
I'm not going to focus on the

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reasons, why?
It might not work.

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And I ask myself the question,
what if I can pull it off and

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00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,800
then spoke to my business
partner?

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And And for anyone that's
listening.

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00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,700
Yes Columbia, MBA.
X investment banker.

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I had no money, I left my job, I
showed up in Italy, two

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00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,300
suitcases, I didn't speak, the
language, didn't have a job,

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00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:50,200
didn't know where I was going to
live didn't know anyone and

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00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,500
started teaching English for $8
an hour.

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00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:56,400
Why niece and nephew were making
more money than me and I am here

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00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,300
I am the Columbia graduate,
right?

285
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:02,600
The move to Italy was not what
changed my life.

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00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,700
It was the mindset shift of.
Can I pull it off?

287
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:12,000
In mindset shift was okay, I'm
not sacrificing.

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00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,900
What investments can I make
investment was to teach English

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00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:21,700
for a dollars an hour because my
dream, my goal was this new life

290
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,400
that comes from the childhood
experience where I had grit and

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00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,100
resilience to get out and away
from my father.

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00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:31,500
So I slowly built that.
While I went to coaching school,

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00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:35,400
got my coaching certificate, and
that's sort of how I wound up.

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00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,500
Where I am today I was very Very
lucky.

295
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,200
I have an amazing friend
actually.

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00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:44,800
She was also my wife's friend.
We met her in the chemo Center,

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00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,700
she's going through her own
treatment.

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00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:49,500
While my wife was going through
her treatment after my wife

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00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,500
passed away, she said, you need
to write your story because my

300
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:57,300
wife and I lived.
A philosophy of cancer is not

301
00:15:57,300 --> 00:16:00,100
the dominant color in the
painting of our life.

302
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,100
Cancer will be the accent
account.

303
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:08,200
Well, guess the contract.
Yeah, it is the contrast to Joy

304
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:12,600
it is to say, okay you know what
life is precious it showed us

305
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,400
what the present moment actually
is it taught us?

306
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,300
That hope is not hoping for
sure.

307
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:22,600
In that you're powerless in
that, you are you're in this

308
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,000
state.
Almost a victimhood waiting for

309
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,900
something from the future to
help you.

310
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:31,600
Now, true hope is hoping for the
best day possible today and

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00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,700
that's what we learned.
And that's what I brought

312
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:36,100
forward.
And so she said you need to

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00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,600
write a book and I was like, I
don't I want to be that guy that

314
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,700
you know, writes a book about
his wife and blah, blah blah,

315
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:45,100
during covid, she said, you know
everybody's living what you and

316
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:49,500
Desiree live uncertainty and
ambiguity, the year people are

317
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,900
dying, nobody knows what's going
to happen next.

318
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:55,200
You really need to write this
book over the course of all

319
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:58,700
those years from when my wife
passed away, two, when she told

320
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:01,400
me the second time, I needed to
write the book during covid.

321
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,900
She said, you know what?
I wrote down all your stories

322
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:06,400
for you.
Here's 30 pages to start you off

323
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,200
your friend wrote.
This for you.

324
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,500
Yes wow yeah that's why she's my
coop.

325
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:13,900
Is she just said you know the
story had to be told the whole

326
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:19,400
concept of that book is that we
don't measure Life by the number

327
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,200
of years.
You live measured by The Moments

328
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:27,000
Of Joy, you experience because
my wife she died before her 41st

329
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,600
birthday.
But she lived a full joyful

330
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,000
life.
There's nobody that can tell me

331
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,600
otherwise that although, you
know, she lived a short life

332
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:39,000
while she lived it all.
And I lived it with her, it is

333
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,100
all about joy and it's about the
present moment.

334
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,300
And so when I wrote that book,
that just opened up whole

335
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:48,600
Fountain and I wrote two more
books within the year and when

336
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,900
was this book published?
This was you said it was during

337
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:57,500
covid and her Jew 2021 was
chasing life and then a pin B

338
00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:01,300
tail was.
Feb, 20, 22 and then possibility

339
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:04,600
in action was May 20-22 and
possibility in action that sort

340
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,500
of segues into my next question,
which is that is the name of

341
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,200
your platform possibility in
action.

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00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,900
And as I had shared with you
earlier, I love that

343
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:14,800
juxtaposition.
Because possibility is something

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00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:20,200
that's ethereal and formless and
dreamers are always castigated

345
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:24,200
as being too idealistic and they
talk a good game but as the I

346
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,800
think the quote is Vision,
Without execution is a

347
00:18:26,808 --> 00:18:28,200
hallucination.
I think there's like, Tom

348
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:31,000
Addison or something, but it
sounds like you're preventing

349
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,600
that Devolution into
hallucination with action, so

350
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,500
I'd love to hear more.
If you could talk me through

351
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:40,900
possibility and action, what the
philosophy is, and what it is

352
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:44,000
really about, because you've
talked about your books, we

353
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:48,100
haven't gotten into the coaching
her say yet, but I do want to

354
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:51,000
talk about that and then
anything else that is under that

355
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,900
umbrella possibility, in action.
So, possibly an action is, is

356
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:59,100
actually my life's philosophy.
It's became a Platform, let's

357
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:03,200
say, but it is something that I
wrote in a journal years and

358
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,100
years ago while dealing with
everything with Desiree

359
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:10,000
possibilities exist, all around
us, but without action, they

360
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:15,000
remain in the land of wishing
and that could create regret so

361
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:18,600
possibility.
An action is understanding that

362
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:23,300
transformation is possible that
possibilities do exist.

363
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,100
You have to walk away from
labeling.

364
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:27,200
You have to walk away from the
shoulds.

365
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,800
There's a lot of This to unpack
in there at the end of the day,

366
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:35,500
when you understand your values,
you understand your beliefs, you

367
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:39,600
understand the story, you want
to live, when that's defined

368
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:43,700
clearly you're able then to see
the possibilities that can make

369
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:46,300
that happen and the actions you
need to take.

370
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,200
I had to teach English for eight
dollars an hour, that was an

371
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:54,300
action that took a possibility
and created into my reality.

372
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:57,000
And that's really what
possibility in action is all

373
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,300
about.
We Create limits, we create

374
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:05,600
barriers we create excuses, it's
all valid, because that usually

375
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:09,300
comes from trying to stay safe
track, come from survival

376
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:11,700
mechanism.
But as I learned with Desiree,

377
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:14,000
right?
Is there really safety?

378
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:17,000
As we all learned with covid is
there really safety.

379
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:22,400
The thing that exists and will
always exist is change or as it

380
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:26,800
said in Buddhism, anicca
impermanence impermanence is the

381
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:32,100
only thing that We're all on a
journey with terminal disease

382
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:37,200
because we all have to pass away
and so therefore do you want to

383
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:42,300
sit seeing possibilities?
But not taking action because of

384
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:47,200
fear or figuring out how you can
make those possibilities into

385
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,900
your reality because nothing is
linear in this life at all.

386
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:54,100
When you're clear on your
values, when you're clear on the

387
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:58,000
the Investments you're willing
to make into that I worked with

388
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,600
Someone that said, oh, you know
what?

389
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,400
But I have children.
I don't know if I could do this,

390
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,500
and I could do that.
And she really wanted to start

391
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,300
painting.
I like you don't have to leave

392
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:09,300
your job to start painting.
And then, as she was doing it, I

393
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:11,300
asked her the question.
I said, so what do you think?

394
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,800
You're teaching your children
right now?

395
00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:15,500
And she said, well, I'm not I'm
not teaching them anything.

396
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:18,400
I'm like, well, if you don't do
this, because you're afraid,

397
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,000
you're definitely teaching them
self.

398
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:23,700
And if you do this, despite the
fear, you're actually teaching

399
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,300
them something.
And so a lot of times, we may

400
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:30,000
find an excuse because Have a
child or I have this, or I have

401
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,900
that or whatever, but there
always is a different side.

402
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:38,400
There are two sides to the coin.
There is yin and yang always so

403
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,300
possibility in action, if you if
you distilled it.

404
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,500
And you think about the hero's
journey, you could even use on

405
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:49,000
Dante's Inferno, right?
Or Star Wars or Harry Potter,

406
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,700
you know?
That we're more familiar with,

407
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:55,600
but Akira's journey is
confronting fears, entering the

408
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,500
unknown growing increasingly
Coming out with some type of

409
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:04,700
wisdom, some type of gift.
And so that journey is fueled by

410
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:08,600
possibility in action because it
requires both the recognition of

411
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:13,200
possibilities and taking action
to bring those into reality.

412
00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:16,400
And everyone has a tolerance.
You have to understand what that

413
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,100
tolerance is.
Yes, I showed up in Italy with

414
00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:23,000
two suitcases, I went through
the worst case, scenarios, I

415
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,100
wasn't going to let them stop
me.

416
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:28,100
And so it's as simple as it
sounds.

417
00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:31,700
But yet there's a lot of
components to it because you do

418
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:35,400
have to surrender outcome, you
do have to understand

419
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:40,100
impermanence, you do have to
learn to enjoy the journey and

420
00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:44,100
the identity of the traveler,
the identity of I think of

421
00:22:44,100 --> 00:22:47,500
myself more as an adventurer.
I am an adventure in my life.

422
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,400
I don't know where this is going
to wind up.

423
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:51,900
And you know what?
That's when you understand it's

424
00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:53,800
not linear.
None of us know where it's going

425
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,600
to wind up because we will die
unfinished.

426
00:22:57,700 --> 00:22:59,800
We do.
Don't know when our story is

427
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:04,200
going to finish, so we can
project and we can project, but

428
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:09,300
we're not Clairvoyant and so
that requires us to think a

429
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:13,100
little bit more of again.
What is the story I want to look

430
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:16,100
back on?
Do I want to look back on safety

431
00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:20,400
and fear and lost opportunities,
and regrets Grant him?

432
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:24,000
Or do I want to say?
You know what, I took a big bite

433
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,000
out of that Apple of life and I
still have some pieces in my

434
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,400
teeth as, you know, The Specter
of, you know, death is knocking

435
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,600
on my door and that aligns, oh,
well, with the philosophy of our

436
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,000
podcast, as you, and I have
discussed, is just about there,

437
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:40,000
is that illusion of safety,
where we are doing what was

438
00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:43,500
handed to us as I like to call
them templates, for me, being

439
00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:45,700
like a South Asian immigrant it
was, you know, go to med school.

440
00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:49,100
Go to the best colleges, the US
News and world ranking of your

441
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:51,800
college of your alma.
Mater was a proxy for your value

442
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,400
and your worth.
And we all come to realize that

443
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,800
that's all Bs.
And there are people who still

444
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:01,200
live Give Tethered to those
ideals or Tethered to those

445
00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:03,200
scripts that they've been
handed.

446
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,700
And so, it's always so amazing
to connect with people who have

447
00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:11,600
gone outside of that comfort
zone because obviously Financial

448
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,800
dislocation.
That was a big concern but yet

449
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,700
an MBA from Columbia, you had
the pedigree of working at I

450
00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:21,000
think was a top, was a venture
capital firm in Dubai, was it?

451
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,400
Yeah, it was it was the first
Boutique on private Equity Firm,

452
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,200
a bird and the Abu Dhabi
investment Authority is, you

453
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,000
know, one of the Up Sovereign
wealth funds in the world.

454
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,500
So, I mean, you had two choices
and you took The Road Less

455
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:36,400
Traveled and that's see.
It seems like you are really a

456
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,000
Shining Light.
I think, for people who have had

457
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,200
those curve balls thrown at you
and to take your life in a

458
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:45,400
different direction is really
commendable now, possibly in

459
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,000
action, I think you've done a
great job of outlining the

460
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,100
philosophy.
You know, the why I'd like to

461
00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:53,800
hear more about, maybe the what
that's involved in possibility

462
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,700
in action, because you've talked
about your coaching service.

463
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,900
Tell me more about Out.
Some of the people that you

464
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:03,100
coach and what kind of
challenges are they coming to

465
00:25:03,100 --> 00:25:06,500
you with and some of the
outcomes that either they can

466
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:09,000
look forward to?
Or maybe if there's a case study

467
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,500
to be very MBA ish that you can
point to that can just

468
00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:15,500
illustrate the benefits of
possibility action.

469
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,000
I think you highlighted
something earlier, which is

470
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,300
somewhat important.
So, you know, like you talked

471
00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:24,400
about people being tethered and
so forth for some people that

472
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,200
might be the story.
They want to look back on what I

473
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,600
always say to people.
When I start to work with them

474
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,300
is nobody needs to be fixed.
No one is broken.

475
00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:38,300
It is whether or not you feel in
harmony with your life.

476
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:43,200
Do you feel resistance?
Like, I felt resistance sitting

477
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:47,900
in Emirates Towers in Dubai and
thinking to myself.

478
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,800
Okay, well, you know what, I
just lived this whole big

479
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:54,200
experience with by my wife.
And here I am crunching numbers

480
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,800
and there's something else out
there and that's what people

481
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,900
come.
To me for it's this feeling of

482
00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:03,100
there's got to be more to life
than this.

483
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,400
I feel like, I'm spinning my
wheels.

484
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,600
This doesn't feel like the life.
I should be living.

485
00:26:09,300 --> 00:26:13,700
It's not necessarily people that
are, like, I want something

486
00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:16,900
completely different.
It's hey, help me understand

487
00:26:16,900 --> 00:26:20,100
here because I'm making good
money, or I'm not making good

488
00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:22,400
money or whatever.
The case is, I followed the, as

489
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:27,300
you said, the template, and here
I am and I don't feel content, I

490
00:26:27,300 --> 00:26:30,600
feel there's Something more to
life I feel aimless.

491
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:35,100
So those are the people that
reach out to my type of work

492
00:26:35,100 --> 00:26:37,600
because there's a million
different types of coaching.

493
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:41,400
I'm not a believer in digging
into the past at all.

494
00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,900
So working with me.
We're not going to talk about

495
00:26:43,900 --> 00:26:45,700
your childhood.
Let's just blame it on your

496
00:26:45,700 --> 00:26:49,500
parents and that's it.
Done over with what do you want

497
00:26:49,500 --> 00:26:53,500
now?
Because all it takes is changing

498
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:58,000
behaviors, and to change
behaviors, takes action.

499
00:26:58,100 --> 00:27:01,800
I don't believe personally, when
I work with people, we can break

500
00:27:01,900 --> 00:27:04,200
a habit.
It's more about replacing our

501
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,900
replacing with habits that
actually work for you instead of

502
00:27:07,900 --> 00:27:10,900
work against you as examples of
people I worked with.

503
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,700
There was one gentleman, I
worked with.

504
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:17,900
He's the CEO of a tech company
and his wife passed away.

505
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,600
He felt very lost in his life
overall.

506
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,700
When we worked together to try
to uncover this aimlessness and

507
00:27:26,700 --> 00:27:32,100
this disease that Had it wasn't
necessarily the situation with

508
00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:36,700
his wife, brought it to light
but what he missed was all the

509
00:27:36,700 --> 00:27:40,700
innovation in curiosity and
stuff that came and technology

510
00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:45,000
that he no longer had because he
was now that the CEO and this is

511
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,500
an example of someone that was
wealthy.

512
00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:50,100
So this is one of those examples
that maybe not all of us have

513
00:27:50,100 --> 00:27:53,700
that the opportunity to do.
But when he looked at his life

514
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,200
he said and we got down to what
she wanted.

515
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,500
Now, this was before covid.
He said is you know what, I'd

516
00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:04,500
love to travel United States in
an RV and work from my RV.

517
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:08,200
And the question was well, why
aren't you and you're the CEO?

518
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,100
Why aren't you?
Well, that's not what, the CEO

519
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,600
know what it was.
Let's stick through it and

520
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,500
template.
Let's build that I've had.

521
00:28:16,500 --> 00:28:20,400
Other people that have worked
with me where it could be

522
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,500
anything from re-crafting.
A relationship.

523
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,900
It could be sexuality as well
for some people that I've worked

524
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:30,600
with.
It all comes down to okay?

525
00:28:30,700 --> 00:28:35,100
You have this feeling of there
must be something more or I feel

526
00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:39,100
nameless or I'm not doing doc.
It sounds like yes, where is it?

527
00:28:39,100 --> 00:28:42,100
That you feel stuck.
And we start to break that apart

528
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:47,700
and what we want to get to is to
empower and when I say we it's

529
00:28:47,700 --> 00:28:50,600
us together because a coach can
never do anything for the client

530
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:51,900
of the client doesn't want to do
it.

531
00:28:51,900 --> 00:28:54,500
Right, right.
So because that becomes

532
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:57,300
motivation and motivation is not
sustainable.

533
00:28:57,300 --> 00:28:59,700
I can motivate You and then a
week later we never see each

534
00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:01,900
other and the motivation Fades
away, right?

535
00:29:01,900 --> 00:29:03,700
And then we need another hit of
motivation.

536
00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:06,100
That's not what we want.
We sit there and we look at

537
00:29:06,100 --> 00:29:09,500
these different things and as we
start to break them apart and we

538
00:29:09,500 --> 00:29:12,900
understand what's essential to
your life and what resonates

539
00:29:12,900 --> 00:29:18,100
with you we start to then chip
away at all those shoulds the

540
00:29:18,100 --> 00:29:20,900
Temple of this piece of the
template doesn't work for you.

541
00:29:21,100 --> 00:29:24,200
You're unique your life is
different.

542
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,900
This is not the 1950s with two
and a half kids and a white

543
00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:29,400
picket fence.
Re generation.

544
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:33,700
But every year it's unknown
territory, I really can use the

545
00:29:33,700 --> 00:29:37,800
past to understand some things.
But what you want to do is try

546
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,400
to Define your future.
That's why it is not a case

547
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,700
study because it's all, it's all
so different Michelangelo.

548
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:45,900
Said that David was inside the
marble.

549
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,000
What did he have to do to get
David?

550
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:52,400
Kelly was away, all the stuff
that wasn't David, okay?

551
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,800
And he didn't just take the
Chisel once and hit it and all

552
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,000
of a sudden David popped out.
It was Labor.

553
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,400
He had to get rid of the things
in his life that didn't work

554
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,300
anymore.
So, working with me.

555
00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:04,800
You do an energy audit, we try
to understand.

556
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:07,200
When are you the most creative
in your day?

557
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,300
When are you the most physical
in your day?

558
00:30:09,500 --> 00:30:11,500
When are you the most strategic
in your day?

559
00:30:11,500 --> 00:30:15,100
Richard egg aligned with that.
What is were your job?

560
00:30:15,100 --> 00:30:19,400
It's if it's passion like me.
I could do 24/7 but I don't do

561
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:23,000
it 24/7 because I take every
June July and August off.

562
00:30:23,100 --> 00:30:25,300
My friend hasn't has a house on
the beach.

563
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,200
I like to go visit and sit on
the beach and So that means that

564
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,200
I'm making a lot less money than
I could.

565
00:30:31,300 --> 00:30:35,200
Yeah, but it's the lifestyle.
So what happens is we Define

566
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,900
that lifestyle, we understand
that lifestyle.

567
00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:40,900
We really get into the nuts and
bolts of that lifestyle.

568
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,200
And then we reverse-engineer it,
I love that.

569
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:47,200
I'd never heard that about David
being inside the marble.

570
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:52,100
That's, that's such a beautiful
conception of how to achieve the

571
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:55,700
Pinnacle of the Maslow's
hierarchy of self-actualization.

572
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,200
She got a chip away at it, it's
not A one and done type thing,

573
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,600
which I think as Americans.
Unfortunately, I think that's

574
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,100
what we're all looking for.
We're all looking for that quick

575
00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:06,100
fix.
I'm very big into

576
00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:09,300
self-improvement.
And sometimes that can be an

577
00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:12,000
addiction in and of itself,
because it's just like, we keep

578
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,000
trying to find that silver
bullet.

579
00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:16,400
No.
Is it breathwork, is it Silva

580
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,700
method that you?
And I have talked about, is this

581
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,100
energy, healing chakras.
And that's what's amazing about

582
00:31:22,100 --> 00:31:25,000
Americans, is it just like, we
take something that's supposed

583
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,500
to give us tranquility and
serenity and we Help sort of

584
00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:30,400
driving ourselves even more
crazy.

585
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,000
Trying to pursue all these
certifications are trying to

586
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:37,100
pursue becoming the Pinnacle of
that or how many Instagram likes

587
00:31:37,100 --> 00:31:39,400
were getting for that
brilliantly.

588
00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:43,000
Insightful, post about
eliminating anxiety is I just

589
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:47,500
find it so perverse sometimes
and I bring up the American

590
00:31:47,500 --> 00:31:50,600
intentionally because I wanted
to understand you're based in

591
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,500
Italy and obviously technology
has enabled as really shattered.

592
00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:57,200
A lot of boundaries obviously
I'm in Chicago and your were

593
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,500
separated by time.
Time zones, in terms of the

594
00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:03,100
people you're working with, are
they coming to you from all over

595
00:32:03,100 --> 00:32:05,700
the world?
Or is there a particular area of

596
00:32:05,700 --> 00:32:08,100
the world that you're attracting
a lot of clients?

597
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:12,000
I wish you could say, it truly
is global, it's three markets,

598
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:17,200
it's UAE, it's Canada, and it's
the u.s. so not not to money

599
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,200
from Europe.
Then it sounds like, no, not

600
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:23,900
not, not too many from Europe.
Also the idea of coaching and

601
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:26,500
everything else, even though it
is pretty prevalent.

602
00:32:26,500 --> 00:32:30,300
Now in Europe, It's not
necessarily the same thing.

603
00:32:30,300 --> 00:32:34,400
So the u.s. component really
came from when I became a life

604
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,000
coach because of who my wife
was.

605
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,600
And because of the New York
Times article when she passed

606
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,900
away, the palliative care
Community said, oh, you're a

607
00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:47,300
life coach, we have people.
And you'd so then there was a

608
00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:49,700
came, a, you became a minor
celebrity in the palliative.

609
00:32:49,700 --> 00:32:52,300
Care World.
It sounds like, well, I was

610
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,100
yeah, I was known.
Let's say so it was easy to get

611
00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:56,600
referrals.
Sure Dubai.

612
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,000
I did the UAE.
I lived there and I have a lot

613
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,700
of exposure there and I was
there for many, many years of

614
00:33:02,700 --> 00:33:05,400
you really think about it.
We could say from 1997 until

615
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:10,200
2014 pretty much on and off.
So there was a community and

616
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,000
that was a little more
leadership based because they

617
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:17,800
knew me as the finance guy,
there and Canada is just because

618
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,300
it happened.
That one time I was asked to be

619
00:33:21,300 --> 00:33:24,700
one of the faces of national
caregiver Day in Canada, and I'm

620
00:33:24,700 --> 00:33:29,100
not Canadian, but the story
about my wife, Was so intriguing

621
00:33:29,100 --> 00:33:32,100
for them that they thought they
would get would be good, but I

622
00:33:32,108 --> 00:33:34,800
would say, yeah, it's
predominantly those three

623
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,200
markets.
And as you were talking about,

624
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,900
sort of, we're always chasing
the next new thing and and all

625
00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:43,100
of these other things.
And yes, I mean, even if you

626
00:33:43,100 --> 00:33:46,900
think about it, we've taken yoga
which at the beginning was just

627
00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:49,700
supposed to be good for the body
and flexibility and to relax and

628
00:33:49,700 --> 00:33:52,500
then we got hot yoga.
And then we got, you know, yoga

629
00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:56,200
challenge is and it just, you
know, it's lost what it actually

630
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,800
is supposed to be by this.
Yeah, right.

631
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,100
Exactly.
But my perspective comes from

632
00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:04,300
and this is what the ancient
philosophers said they didn't

633
00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:10,400
ever say, read these 1000
scriptures and study life, they

634
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,600
said take one of these figure
out what works for you and go

635
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,400
put it into action.
That's it.

636
00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:19,400
It's that simple, if breathwork
is something that that makes you

637
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,000
feel grounded, continue with it,
that's it.

638
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,199
Don't go searching for other
things because what we have

639
00:34:25,199 --> 00:34:28,300
caused and like you said, this
whole idea of Instant

640
00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:30,699
gratification.
I mean, everyone wants their

641
00:34:30,699 --> 00:34:33,400
Amazon package that the minute
after they click.

642
00:34:33,699 --> 00:34:37,000
Yeah, I mean, but if you think
about my wife, when I took my

643
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,600
job in the Middle East, in 1997,
we wrote each other letters.

644
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,000
There was no email.
I mean, that's how crazy it was.

645
00:34:44,100 --> 00:34:47,300
But if you think like, even when
we get on a plane, where luck,

646
00:34:47,300 --> 00:34:52,199
we're flying in a tube across
the Atlantic Ocean, and we get

647
00:34:52,199 --> 00:34:55,400
aggravated because they don't
have access or be everyone

648
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,800
access to Internet and watching
Three Amigos on.

649
00:34:57,900 --> 00:35:00,900
On the, on the in-flight
entertainment, some bad move

650
00:35:00,900 --> 00:35:04,500
here, some it will be but here's
the thing is though for anyone

651
00:35:04,500 --> 00:35:08,600
listening personal growth is
personal, there's something that

652
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,900
resonates with you now.
Yes, it might take some time to

653
00:35:11,900 --> 00:35:15,200
figure that out, but that's also
one of the reasons why a coach

654
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:20,000
helps, but you can't continue to
sample, sample, sample sample,

655
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,100
because there's no progress in
anything.

656
00:35:22,100 --> 00:35:23,700
It's like New Year's
resolutions.

657
00:35:23,700 --> 00:35:25,700
You can't go to the gym for two
weeks, and then you get

658
00:35:25,700 --> 00:35:29,100
frustrated because you're not
seeing Results on, you want to

659
00:35:29,100 --> 00:35:32,300
look, I don't know who is a is a
well-built person today.

660
00:35:32,300 --> 00:35:34,800
I'll say Arnold Schwarzenegger,
because that's who I grew up

661
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:35,500
with, right, right.
Right.

662
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:40,500
But so, all of that is
consistency and there's a

663
00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:43,600
philosophy called casein, which
is part of the overall

664
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,600
possibility in action.
Philosophy.

665
00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:49,000
Casein is actually something
that was developed by the United

666
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,500
States given to Japan after
World War Two.

667
00:35:52,700 --> 00:35:55,000
And that's what helped Toyota
become the number one car

668
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,900
manufacturer.
Yeah, it's continuous

669
00:35:56,900 --> 00:36:00,000
Improvement.
Leave continuous Improvement.

670
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:05,500
You are not measuring the goal,
you're measuring the commitments

671
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:09,200
small little commitments.
If you want to change a habit

672
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:13,000
tomorrow and you want to
exercise, I challenge you to do.

673
00:36:13,100 --> 00:36:15,600
Three push-ups in the morning
and you can be like that.

674
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,900
So stupid, just do three.
You know, what you may do five?

675
00:36:18,900 --> 00:36:21,400
Because you're like, well, three
is pretty easy but it's

676
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:26,300
digestible, it's manageable.
We as adults, forget how to

677
00:36:26,300 --> 00:36:29,500
learn we're born, Learning
beings.

678
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:34,200
But there's a difference between
learning and understanding we as

679
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:37,800
children touch the fire, we knew
not to touch the stove ever

680
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,800
again, we don't seek their
everyday.

681
00:36:40,900 --> 00:36:43,100
Get mad at the stove.
The stove is bad.

682
00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:46,600
The stove hurt it?
No, we understood that.

683
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,500
That hurt.
We took an internal you can't

684
00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:52,600
study life.
You can't study and read these

685
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,800
books and read them over and
over and over again.

686
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,500
You have to understand them, you
understand them by putting them

687
00:36:57,500 --> 00:36:58,400
into action.
Action.

688
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,900
That's why I do the Retreats I
do because it's a completely

689
00:37:00,900 --> 00:37:03,900
different experience than just
visiting some place.

690
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,500
One of the things that I had
mentioned our first conversation

691
00:37:06,500 --> 00:37:10,100
was that you had done.
An amazing breakdown of this

692
00:37:10,100 --> 00:37:13,400
beautiful quote from Rumi which
is the wound is where the light

693
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,400
shines through and I just love
that quote and as I mentioned I

694
00:37:16,408 --> 00:37:18,900
think broke it down in a way
that I hadn't heard you know.

695
00:37:18,900 --> 00:37:23,800
So powerfully I want understand
any other philosophers or quotes

696
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,400
or if it's roomy.
That's fine too.

697
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:29,200
But are there any philosophers
that Have been particularly

698
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:33,300
insightful or helpful to you in
your very layered and complex

699
00:37:33,300 --> 00:37:35,200
Journey.
That's a beautiful question

700
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:39,600
because I'd say all of them, I
love to read ancient philosophy

701
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,100
stuff.
Spend a lot of time with

702
00:37:42,100 --> 00:37:46,000
stoicism.
I also love reading a lot about

703
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:49,500
Chinese wisdom and Edge and
Japanese as well.

704
00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:53,800
The Japanese used in a calendar.
The ancient Japanese of 72 micro

705
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,000
Seasons to represent
impermanence.

706
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,200
That's something that's part of
my My exist in this part of my

707
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,900
life.
So there's not just one, there's

708
00:38:01,900 --> 00:38:06,000
many, many I can share one
quote, which is my favorite

709
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:10,100
really it is my favorite quote
comes from Richard Bach book 1.

710
00:38:10,100 --> 00:38:15,000
He says, we're all born with a
block of marble and the tools to

711
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:19,100
shape it into a sculpture, we
can leave it untouched.

712
00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:22,200
In my opinion.
That means in action, he then

713
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,500
says, we can pound it into
gravel.

714
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:30,200
In my opinion, that's anger.
Or we can shape it into glory in

715
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,100
my opinion that's possibility in
action.

716
00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:35,500
So that's a quote, I reflect on
often.

717
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,500
Yeah, all of them.
I think there's so much wisdom

718
00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:43,700
out there and we should surround
ourselves with that type of

719
00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:48,000
content.
Instead of maybe some Tick-Tock

720
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:52,500
picking something up his nose
for - yeah, she's no 100% with

721
00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:54,500
social media.
It is something that I think we

722
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:56,800
do have to be intentional
because there's just so much

723
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:01,400
Wisdom at our fingertips, we
need to really be intentional

724
00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:04,700
because it's easy to get sucked
into that void like you said

725
00:39:04,700 --> 00:39:08,100
about Tick-Tock because it's
mindless and it's what I would

726
00:39:08,100 --> 00:39:10,400
call an energy vampire.
If we want to achieve the

727
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,500
highest version of ourselves, it
ain't going to be by pursuing

728
00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:15,900
likes on Tick.
Tock for doing something stupid.

729
00:39:15,900 --> 00:39:18,100
Like, the tide pod, Challenger,
whatever.

730
00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:22,400
Whatever the face it Fanny was
your is so intimate and it's

731
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,800
definitely funny.
There is a place for that.

732
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,800
But what you just said that
mindless Is scrolling.

733
00:39:27,900 --> 00:39:31,500
Yeah, you being sucked into it.
The energy vampire, that's your

734
00:39:31,500 --> 00:39:35,700
life, you are manifestation of
time and energy.

735
00:39:35,900 --> 00:39:38,400
And so what do you want to do
with that timing energy?

736
00:39:38,700 --> 00:39:43,200
I know I want to craft a story,
that's pretty damn cool to look

737
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,700
back on when my time comes so
Rob.

738
00:39:45,700 --> 00:39:48,100
How can people find you if
they're interested in learning

739
00:39:48,100 --> 00:39:50,700
more about you connecting with
you going on, one of your

740
00:39:50,700 --> 00:39:53,800
treats, reading your books, all
of the above tell us more how

741
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,800
they can find you best place is
just go to my website, Robert

742
00:39:56,900 --> 00:40:01,400
DPA are diy.com, my books are
all on Amazon, and the titles of

743
00:40:01,408 --> 00:40:04,700
the books again, are so, the
titles of the books are chasing

744
00:40:04,700 --> 00:40:07,500
a life and that's the Memoir for
my wife.

745
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:11,100
The second book is extremely
unusual, but I love it and it's

746
00:40:11,100 --> 00:40:16,700
called a pin detail.
And it's actually a child Babel

747
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,200
written for adults.
So it actually is written in an

748
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:25,400
eight-year-old voice, but it's
to remind us that we are

749
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:29,700
possibility.
Nation magic believing and then

750
00:40:29,700 --> 00:40:32,800
the y stands for you.
So, that's what a Pity means.

751
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,100
And then, the last book is
possibility in action, which is,

752
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:40,600
it's a book that highlights My
Philosophy but also provides

753
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:43,800
what are called musings.
Because I'm a big believer in

754
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:48,100
the idea of a cone from, you
know, Sun Khan's a shit.

755
00:40:48,100 --> 00:40:53,100
And so, I just throw out these
random ideas and I asked you to

756
00:40:53,100 --> 00:40:55,200
journal about them.
Well, thanks again, Rob for

757
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:56,900
joining us.
It was so nice to talk to you.

758
00:40:56,900 --> 00:40:58,400
You.
And we look forward to

759
00:40:58,408 --> 00:41:00,500
continuing the discussion down
the road.

760
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:05,800
Me to me.
Tune Thanks so much for

761
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,200
listening and I hope you enjoyed
that episode four more of these

762
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,800
types of conversations.
Please visit us at untether,

763
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:15,400
your life that Co you can also
find us on Instagram and

764
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,900
untether your life, as well as
on Apple Spotify and other

765
00:41:18,900 --> 00:41:21,400
platforms by searching for
untether, your life.

766
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,300
And if you did enjoy this
episode, please leave us a

767
00:41:24,308 --> 00:41:27,100
review or share it with someone
who might also benefit.

768
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,100
Thanks.
And until the next time we meet

769
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:06,500
stay untethered.
Thanks so much for listening and

770
00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:09,600
I hope you enjoyed that episode
four more of these types of

771
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,800
conversations.
Please visit us at untether,

772
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:15,400
your life that Co you can also
find us on Instagram and

773
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,900
untether your life, as well as
on Apple Spotify and other

774
00:41:18,900 --> 00:41:21,400
platforms by searching for
untether, your life.

775
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,300
And if you did enjoy this
episode, please leave us a

776
00:41:24,308 --> 00:41:27,100
review or share it with someone
who might also benefit.

777
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,100
Thanks.
And until the next time we meet

778
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:31,400
stay untethered.