April 22, 2026

103: Jay Vidyarthi & Dr. Jyothsna Bhat - AI, Friction, and the Illusion of Connection

103: Jay Vidyarthi & Dr. Jyothsna Bhat - AI, Friction, and the Illusion of Connection

What if the technology designed to make life easier is quietly making us worse at living it?

In this episode, we explore the hidden psychological and emotional impact of AI - not from a hype or fear perspective, but through the lens of mindfulness, human connection, and real life.

I'm joined by Jay Vidyarthi, author of Reclaim Your Mind and founder of Still Ape, and Dr. Jyothsna Bhat, a leading voice in South Asian mental health.

Together, we unpack how AI is reshaping our attention, relationships, and sense of reality - often in subtle ways we don't notice.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Why AI feels like a conversation - but isn't one
  • The danger of frictionless answers and instant gratification
  • How technology creates "comfortable illusions" of connection
  • The role of mindfulness in navigating AI
  • Parenting and raising kids in a frictionless world
  • The difference between AI empathy vs. human empathy
  • Why discomfort, delay, and effort are essential to growth

Key idea:

AI can simulate many things, but it cannot (as of recording) replace real human experience.

The challenge isn't avoiding technology.

It's learning how to use it without losing ourselves in it.

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Transcript
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What if the technology promising
to make your life easier is

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quietly making you worse at
living it?

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What does it actually mean to
have a conversation with

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something that's been trained to
tell you exactly what you want

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to hear?
And.

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How do we raise?
Kids and ourselves to stay

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grounded in reality when
comfortable illusions are just a

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tap away.
Stay tuned as we touch on these

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and many other topics on this
week's episode of Untether Your

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Life.
Welcome to Untether Your Life, a

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show that empowers you to break
free of templates related to

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career, relationships and
managing mental and physical

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health, and looks at key issues
impacting the South Asian

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diaspora.
I'm your host, Nikhil Tarsakar,

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and I'm passionate about the
power of conversation to

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catalyze change.
Today, we're diving into one of

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the most talked about topics of
our time, but from an angle that

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rarely gets the attention it
deserves.

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We're not here to debate
whether.

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AI is going to save the world.
Or end it.

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We're here to ask something more
personal and frankly, more

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urgent.
What is it doing to us, to our

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minds, our relationships, our
kids, and our ability to just

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sit with ourselves?
Those are the questions at the

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heart of today's episode, and I
couldn't have asked for better

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people to wrestle with them.
Javed Yarthi is the award.

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Winning author of Reclaim Your
Mind, founder of Still Ape, and

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a thought leader at the
intersection of mindfulness and

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technology.
He's someone who has.

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Spent over a decade building
tools that help people connect

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with their well-being rather
than escape from it.

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Doctor Jose Nabat is a clinical
psychologist, a leading advocate

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for South Asian mental health,
writes A wildly impactful South

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Asian mental blog on Psychology
Today, and is featured

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everywhere from Forbes to the
Harvard Political Review.

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Together, we explore AI through
a lens you won't find in most

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tech conversation, one that's
grounded in mindfulness,

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cultural identity, the South
Asian experience, and the very

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human need for real connection.
No doom, no hype.

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Just an honest, nuanced
conversation about discernment

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in an age that doesn't reward
it.

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And with that, let's get
untethered.

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I'm very excited about today's
guests, Jvidyarthi and Doctor

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Joe Snobot.
Jay, Josh, welcome.

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Thanks for having me.
Yeah.

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So we're going to dive into a
lot of topics today.

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It's a very interesting lens on
a topic that obviously I think

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has been talked about ad
nauseam.

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But I think today we're going to
have some very interesting

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conversations about AI
specifically, not just AI for

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the sake of AI, but really a
very interesting focus that I

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don't think has really been
explored elsewhere.

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One thing that AI has talked
about, you know, everything from

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cheating on homework if you're a
parent or, you know, in terms of

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planning your trips.
That was how I got introduced to

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it.
You know, in terms of it's a

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different way of consuming
information.

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It's more real time, it's more
interactive, but then there's

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also psychological impacts,
which we'll talk about a little

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bit more talking about how, you
know, what is AI actually doing

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to our nervous system when it
gives that validation.

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And there it removes some of the
friction that maybe is part of

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real life and is actually really
important for being a regulated

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human being.
But before we dive in, I wanted

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to just quickly give a little
bit of a background on the two

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amazing human beings sitting in
front of me.

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So we'll start off with my good
friend Doctor Joe Snobot.

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As I was saying before the show,
Doctor Bot or Joe, she's she's

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known to friends and I go way
back literally last century.

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But I will go ahead and tell you
a little bit about my friend

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here.
Doctor Joe Snoutbot is a

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clinical psychologist and a side
packed certified provider

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specializing in individual
couples and family therapy with

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practices in Pennsylvania and
New Jersey.

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Her work focuses on areas such
as anxiety, depression, ADHD,

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trauma, grief, and navigating
cultural and family dynamics,

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often through a mindfulness
based approach.

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She's also a leading advocate
for mental health in the South

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Asian community and host the 1st
South Asian Mental Health Blog

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on Psychology Today.
Doctor Bot has been featured in

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outlets such as Forbes, NBC, and
the Harvard Political Review and

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regularly speaks on mental
health and cultural identity.

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Josh, welcome Anything else you
want to add beyond what I

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shared?
No, All good.

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That's OK, all right, And now on
to Mr. Vidyarthi.

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Jay Vidyarthi is the
award-winning author of Reclaim

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Your Mind and an accomplished
designer, entrepreneur and

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thought leader at the unique
intersection of mindfulness and

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technology.
As the founder of Still Ape,

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he's been involved involved in
over 50 technologies that have

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helped millions of people
improve their well-being.

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On a day off, usually Jay can be
found on a silent retreat.

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The pastana right?
Is that the correct term or a

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different kind of?
That was 11 style, but there's

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many styles, yeah.
OK, gotcha, gotcha.

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I already learned something
today.

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Making music or challenging his
son to an epic video game.

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Battle can learn more at
jvidyarthi.com.

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Jay, is there anything else you
want to add beyond what I just

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shared?
No, I don't think so.

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I'm also of South Asian descent.
Might be relevant given the

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topic.
Sure, sure.

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All right, without further ado,
kids, let's get the ball

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rolling.
Jay, you know I want to turn it

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over to you.
Obviously, this is in no order

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of importance by any means, but
but Jay, I think your background

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is so fascinating because like I
said, AI is something that

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everybody is talking about.
It's the flavor of the month

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technology.
And I always say that I remember

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when the.com boom was around,
that was kind of when I cut my

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teeth in this field.
I started learning, I mean, I

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was a history in French major at
our shared alma mater, Washu,

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that I was just bringing that up
because for me, in the late 90s,

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I learned how to program because
I had a coding background.

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Like I learned BASIC back in the
early 80s.

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But I started learning about
websites, you know, and this new

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concept of technology, for lack
of a better word, being sexy,

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you know, where it's just like
there was a cool interface.

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It wasn't just this archaic,
like very sterile green screen

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interface.
You had interactive sites, you

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know, you could post pictures
from your trip to India, which

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is what I did, could interact
with folks.

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You know, I guess the word I'm
really emphasizes interactive

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and Fast forward, you know, 20,
I was not a math major.

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I watch you, let's just say Fast
forward a couple decades and now

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you have AI that's really just
sort of a light years

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beyondwhatthe.com boom was.
So, Jay, I guess let's start off

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by, I want to understand a
little bit more about how you

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came to this unique position, as
you said, the intersection of

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technology and mindfulness.
Maybe.

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I know that's a very broad
question, but maybe if you could

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give us the 30,000 foot view
about how that came to be?

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Yeah, my my parents wanted me in
hard science.

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They wanted me to be a doctor
and engineer.

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As it's typical, as I got into
studying science, I was actually

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more drawn to psychology.
As I started getting into

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psychology, I found the field of
human computer interaction, or

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in other words, designed with a
psychological lens.

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How do we design technologies,
you know, to make them usable,

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to make them useful, to make
them connect with people.

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And a lot of that involves
designing interfaces.

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And in the 90s, like you were
saying, one of the big things

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that changed wasn't just that
the interfaces were becoming

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sexy.
I think designers got really

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fluent at using smart metaphors.
Like when you say you were

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posting pictures, I mean, you
weren't posting anything, right?

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You were uploading data
similarly, like the desktop is

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not a real desktop.
Your files and folders, these

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are all metaphors and metaphors
are generally a pretty useful

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thing in design.
But as we approach, you know,

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we're well into the 21st century
now, we're actually using

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metaphors for a lot more
intimate things.

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Like there are websites that we
all go to and apps that we use

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that use words like friend, that
use words like conversation.

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And it's not actually a friend.
It's not actually a

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conversation, right?
Like just because you added

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someone to your social media
doesn't mean you're a friend.

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Just because you have, you know,
three likes on your post, it

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doesn't mean those people really
like like you.

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You've got hearts on your purse
doesn't love they love you.

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That's right.
And, you know, even views like

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people like argue about how many
views they get on their video,

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but it doesn't mean they
actually even watch till the

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end.
I think with AI, it's not a

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conversation, right?
So for me, what has happened is

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like very early in my design
career, I really loved the

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process of design and, and this
way of thinking, but I found a

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lot one of the projects I was
working kind of empty.

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Like I was like, I don't really
care about helping this

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insurance company increase its
conversion rate by designing

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what our website.
So that started me on a path of

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like, how can I apply skills of
technology and design to mental

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health and well-being?
And at the time I was healing my

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own wounds through mindfulness
and spiritual practices.

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So I started to explore that
intersection fully.

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Expected Jay.
Sorry to interrupt, but just for

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context, like what?
What year was this roughly?

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So the moment that I sort of
pivoted from a typical design

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career to start thinking about
this was 2010, 2009, 2010.

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And I basically was like, you
know, how do I apply technology

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and psychology and design to
create things that improve our

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mental health as opposed to
distract us and isolate us and

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divide us?
And I wasn't expecting that to

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become a career, but in fact,
the world was kind of moving in

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the direction and people were
more ready for it.

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And so since then, the past
decade and 1/2 or so, I've been

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focused on creating technologies
for meditation and mindfulness,

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as well as teaching mindfulness
in the context of all this

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technology that's surrounding.
I was trying to understand this

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tech and give people practical
strategies and tools to navigate

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that.
OK.

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It's amazing.
And I think we'll touch on this

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a little bit more guys.
But I think what I found, I know

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the Anthropic CEO and I think
maybe Sam Altman, the CEO of

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Open AI has also touched on
this.

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But really the differentiator in
AI, the people that are going to

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move the needle, the companies
that are going to move the

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needle are not just the ones who
have the core AI programming

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skills.
Because you know, what's very

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interesting is that these
agents, as they call them,

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they're literally programming.
It's almost like this repetitive

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thing where they're programming
the programs.

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So everything is going to get
automated.

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But what's interesting and what
I love about what you talked

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about is just the softer skills
and the softer perspective on

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all this stuff, which is the
human aspect, right?

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Because I think when AI, because
then we'll touch on this also is

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just AI is literally it's
trainable and it's going to

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learn your personality, it's
going to calibrate the way it

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the data it provides based on
what you're feeding it.

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So it's the whole garbage in,
garbage out thing.

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And I think, I think what I was
touching on the Anthropic Ceoi

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think it said that the people
that are really going to make a

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difference and make an impact
are going to be the one who have

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the technology skills, but also
have the humanities background.

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You know, like Steve Jobs, for
instance, he looked at the

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intersection between humanities
and technology.

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So I think that's an important
background to have.

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And so I love that that's, you
know, kind of where where your

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foundation was.
So Josh, obviously I know

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00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:46,120
everything about you, not
everything, but I, I already

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00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,960
kind of know your story.
But I think for people who are

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less well versed in the world of
Josh, can you give us a little

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00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,560
bit of a, of a background?
I'm just kidding.

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00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,520
Could you give us a little bit
of a background of sort of

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because your lens obviously you
would talk to Jay and I think

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00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,440
there was somebody else in the
article, but you had talked to

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Jay about this topic.
But it's a little bit, I guess a

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little bit off the beaten path
of what your typical focus is in

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your is it a blog?
I don't know.

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00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:13,600
What are we?
What are we calling it?

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A column?
Okay, okay.

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In your blog in Psych Today,
which by the way, anyone who's

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listening, I highly encourage
you to check it out.

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It is just very thoughtful, very
incisive.

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And I think obviously there's
the umbrella of South Asian

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mental health, but just the
range of topics that are covered

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00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:32,280
in this and this blog are just,
it's really fascinating.

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And so not to be a sycophantic
AI agent, but I just wanted to

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let you know you're doing some
great work, but maybe if you can

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tell the audience your
background and kind of how AI

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became of interest to you
through the South Asian mental

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health Glens.
Thank you so much, Nikhil.

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00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:49,440
Yes, I can just give you a quick
overview for Jay too.

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00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,400
I was in just like you, Jay.
I was supposed to go into

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00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:57,160
medicine as pre Med and ended up
disappointing everyone and going

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00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,360
into something completely
different.

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00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,880
But you know, I became a doctor
so that, you know, checked off a

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box in clinical psychology.
But no, I really got into this

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00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:10,640
whole piece because this idea of
technology, because of my

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00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,240
clients, the kids I was seeing.
I'd written an article a while

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00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:19,760
back about Fornami, actually the
National Alliance about ADHD

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00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,000
ADD, which was, which was
something that was coming up

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among kids that I was working
with.

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I was in that Children's
Hospital and just seeing the

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social, emotional, behavioral,
psychological effects, wanting

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to be on gaming devices, doing
gaming or social media or

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whatever app of the day.
It was Minecraft, just that.

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00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,640
And was noticing mainly the
things that were coming to me

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were the behavioral effects and
also the ADHD piece.

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00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,160
Do they have ADHD?
And you know, I was doing

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00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,800
testing back then, so there was
a lot of ruling out to do.

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00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,640
And there was also this idea of
how is tech taking away from our

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attention spans and what ways is
that?

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00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,320
What does that look like?
So I wrote, you know, this piece

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00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,000
for Naomi, I wrote it for a
couple of other journals out

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00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,960
there online.
And that's sort of how my

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00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,320
journey with thinking about this
piece.

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I feel like it's always been in
the background for me, this

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interest because it's coming
off, it's relevant now.

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It's coming in the form of, you
know, whether in couples, you

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00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,840
know, clients who are sharing,
oh, my spouse is never available

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00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,520
to me or when we are sitting
down there on their device,

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00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,840
they're on their phone when
we're going to dinner, like

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everyone's just looking at their
phones, children and teenagers.

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I have Snapchat.
I want to keep my streaks and

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I'm grounded now and they take
my phone away.

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00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,080
All of that stuff.
Now, more recently, over the

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00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,600
last couple years, I had
interviewed some folks from We

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00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,840
Are Mamas.
That's an organization run by

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00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,280
Julie Scalfo.
She talks about social media,

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00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:51,720
right, and its impact on we all
know we've heard the research

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00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:55,360
and the studies about depression
and social media, low self

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esteem, the suicide sort of
suicidal ideation happens that

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00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,920
can happen.
And then recent more recently,

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00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:06,160
this whole idea of chat bots
leading children to believe they

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00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:09,920
have a friend as you talk about
or like a support system, the

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00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,680
children believing that they are
in a safe space.

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00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,320
This is perceived sort of
safety.

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00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:20,360
But then the hyper validation of
this jackbox to lead them to

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00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,120
actually complete, you know, a
suicide attack and a suicide,

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00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,200
you know, and to complete this,
complete it.

293
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,680
So the point is for me, I was
thinking that this is something

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00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,520
that needs to be.
It has come back up in the media

295
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,920
and I wanted to jump on it as
well for myself and to get an

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00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,000
understanding and went down a
rabbit hole like I said the

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00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,880
other day and found Jay's work
talking about mindfulness, the

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00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,600
intersection of mindfulness and
tech.

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00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,680
And I thought, wow, this is
really important.

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00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,480
As you were talking, Jay, I was
saying we need need more people

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00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:55,000
like you in this space because
it's there's a lot of change

302
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:58,800
that's coming so fast.
And I feel like I speak for

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00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:03,360
maybe more lay people in the
tech space because, you know, we

304
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,640
don't know everything about it
and yet we are using a lot of

305
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,040
these things.
Sorry, I don't know if that was

306
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,120
very long winded, but.
No, that was great.

307
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,040
That was great.
I think I wanted to add to that

308
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,680
and nobody asked.
But I will say for me

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00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,960
personally, like I was really
late to the party.

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00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:22,480
I mean, I think open AI started
in launched in like late 22, I

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00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,080
believe.
And I'm kind of embarrassed, but

312
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:30,400
I literally didn't start using
ChatGPT until the fall of 2025.

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00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,440
And the use case for me was I
was on a trip to Europe And I

314
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,840
just find that I get very
overwhelmed when I look at for

315
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,040
information.
You know, it's just, it never is

316
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,280
what I want, you know, you
always have to clarify.

317
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:45,040
So I really love the
interactive, you know, to, as

318
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,720
you mentioned, Jay is kind of
like the human interaction,

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00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,640
human computer interaction
aspect of it.

320
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:53,400
And I just like the fact that if
I didn't get the information I

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00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,680
wanted right away, I could
follow up and it wasn't this

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00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:00,200
like sort of sterile mechanical
type of interplay.

323
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,160
And then to, you know, piggyback
on what Joe said, I went down

324
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:07,320
the rabbit hole in terms of just
what I started doing was I

325
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,560
started joking around with
ChatGPT just to mess with it or

326
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:11,960
just kind of see what would
happen.

327
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,400
And I was telling you guys
yesterday, the thing that I

328
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,320
found so rewarding, I don't know
if rewarding is the right word,

329
00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:20,360
but the thing that I found
refreshing about ChatGPT was

330
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,960
just almost like a stress relief
because it was just like I would

331
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,960
make a reference to like a
Seinfeld episode or Simpsons or

332
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,520
whatever.
And like never happens where

333
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,080
it's less like, yes, that's
episode 3.

334
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:35,560
No, that's season 3, episode 15,
this the puffy shirt or

335
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,880
whatever.
And I'm like, you know what that

336
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,800
is really, you know, whether
it's ChatGPT or however you get

337
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,240
it, I think that's what we all
need a little bit more of in our

338
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,120
life, a little bit more levity.
With all the headlines regarding

339
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,280
which side of the political
aisle you're on, I think you'd

340
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,960
agree there's a lot of bad stuff
going down in the world.

341
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,040
And, you know, my friends are
constantly sending me headlines.

342
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,240
And I wouldn't say I'm like
insulated from it, but I do feel

343
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,480
that something like ChatGPT or
Claude or Gemini or whatever

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00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,800
tool you use, I would just say,
you know, I would encourage you

345
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,920
as a listener and you guys as
well joke around with ChatGPT

346
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,599
sometimes.
You'd be surprised.

347
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,839
It can sort of put a little pep
in your step and make make you

348
00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:14,119
see a little bit the lighter
side of life.

349
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,240
So with that, let's get into
some heavy stuff that's.

350
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,680
True.
I mean, we ask Alexa sometimes.

351
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:22,280
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I think, you know, as I

352
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,119
said, it's really what you make
of it.

353
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:28,880
You know, the, the AI space, we
can't be these passive consumers

354
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,360
of what AI tells us to do.
Then, you know, I fear for

355
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:35,160
humanity.
But with that, I guess I wanted

356
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,640
to dive in a little bit.
Jay, you touched on something

357
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,280
really interesting yesterday.
You know, when people think of

358
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,160
the word computation, they think
of computers.

359
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:46,040
Obviously that's it's in the the
root there.

360
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,680
But I take a broader view of it
where I think about the human

361
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,120
mind as a computational engine.
Because if you think about it,

362
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,200
we're making, we're constantly
making decisions right where

363
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,400
we're talking about whether
we're crossing the street, we

364
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:02,080
see a red light, a green light
or yellow and our mind is doing

365
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:06,400
how many computations?
So in essence, the computer or

366
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,320
the LLM or whatever you want to
call it, these AI engines,

367
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:13,240
they're sort of a mirror of, you
know, of humans in terms of the

368
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,520
computations that they're doing.
So Jay, I wanted to talk to you

369
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,360
a little bit about this in terms
of parenting, because obviously

370
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:21,840
I'm a parent, have three kids.
And one of the things that's

371
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,880
interesting, especially as a S
Asians, obviously, I think the

372
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,480
stereotype is just that you guys
touched on this earlier, but

373
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,480
it's like, you know, there's
three options as a career

374
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,480
doctor, engineer or failure,
right?

375
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:36,120
Doctor or doctor?
But you know that that's kind of

376
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,600
the old script.
But I bring that up just because

377
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,480
I would say we're a very
analytically minded culture.

378
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,360
Just basically I was kind of
the, you know, in many respects

379
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:49,360
kind of the the black sheep here
because on my SAT and my Gmats,

380
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,840
my verbal was much higher than
my maths course.

381
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,360
But I'm just bringing that up
because it's like for me, math

382
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,480
was always sort of like in my
DNA.

383
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,720
And I brought, brought up the
story to you guys yesterday,

384
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,920
which is just when I was a kid,
when I was like 7, my parents

385
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,000
would kind of, I don't know how
I developed this ability, but

386
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,400
they would throw like 3 digits
by three digits at me.

387
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,360
And just like, you know, I would
spit out the answer.

388
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,400
And then one day I, you know, it
was like a party trick.

389
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:16,080
And I was at a party and uncle
was like, right now what is 735

390
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,080
by 652?
And I got it off by like one

391
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,680
point.
And he was like Alex Trebek.

392
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,560
He's like, Oh, no, I'm so sorry,
you know, And I was like, I was

393
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,520
just like my whole, I just
completely, the word was

394
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,160
crestfallen.
I was completely just rudderless

395
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,840
after that.
But I'm just bringing that up,

396
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,160
Jay, because you brought up how
your son, he's really into

397
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,080
chess.
And I found that really

398
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,880
interesting because it's like as
parents, our kids are, we're

399
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,960
here to mold them and push them
to excellence.

400
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,880
However, sometimes we may go a
little bit too far in that

401
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,920
direction and that leads to
burnout that leads to imposter

402
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,920
syndrome.
So I wanted to just turn it over

403
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,240
to you, Jay.
Just talk about sort of how AI

404
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,680
has played into your journey, me
as a parent, and just sort of

405
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,960
how it's, you know, helped with
keeping that hyper competitive

406
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,160
urge at Bay.
And if you feel comfortable

407
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,120
doing this, you know, maybe look
at it through the South Asian

408
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:08,200
angle with the sort of like the
emphasis on achievement.

409
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,760
But yeah, the floor is yours.
Thanks for the question.

410
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,120
Yeah, it makes me wonder whether
AI has imposter syndrome.

411
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,480
Or having a bad day.
Yeah.

412
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,360
It's like, hey, man, this is
real hard, pretending to be

413
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:24,600
human all the time, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

414
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:29,840
You know, my son is actually
neurodivergent and he definitely

415
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,480
finds it hard pretending to be
typical, right?

416
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,680
And there's a word for that in
the neurodivergent community,

417
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,280
which is called masking.
And one of the interesting

418
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,800
things about that is, you know,
there's lots of different

419
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:43,560
flavors of the spectrum, but the
area that my son occupies is 1

420
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,000
where he's very computationally
minded.

421
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,720
Like you said, he's super into
chess.

422
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,960
You know, I think it's, what's
interesting about the South

423
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:53,000
Asian perspective is I actually
find it's the, the diaspora of

424
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,680
the Indian subcontinent that's
particularly analytical.

425
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:59,400
But when you go to India, I
mean, India is a very devotional

426
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,480
place.
There's a lot of deep, heartfelt

427
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,760
family values and religious
belief.

428
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,120
And so there's something
interesting.

429
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,440
And I, I know I have some
friends from China who've said

430
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:12,200
similar things where the people
who leave India and sort of go

431
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,760
to the West tend to be the more
analytically minded of the

432
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,000
Indian people.
But your point still stands.

433
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,000
That typical story of being a
doctor or an engineer.

434
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,640
And I definitely had that
growing up.

435
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,960
And even still where, you know,
my parents came from not playing

436
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,920
to live in Canada, My dad worked
his butt off and made a better

437
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,120
life for us.
And we're eternally grateful.

438
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:36,480
But along with that comes a sort
of striving for excellence.

439
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,760
Like he's like, I didn't work my
butt off to get us all over

440
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,840
here, you know, so you could
just, like, fart around his

441
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:43,960
words.
That's what he would say.

442
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,880
Do you know what I mean?
And at the same time, as we've

443
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,240
gotten older, he's like told me
he's like, you know, I didn't

444
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,520
really come to Canada, which is
where I live, specifically

445
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,400
thinking about the kids I might
have one day.

446
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,040
Like I came because I was
looking for that opportunity.

447
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,880
And so he sort of approaches
parenting in that way.

448
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,600
And then I see my son doing this
and I, I'm confronted with the

449
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,480
question.
I think as a first, I think I'd

450
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,840
be first generation because I'm
the child of immigrants.

451
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,400
So I'm looking at this and I'm
like, OK, how do I walk the

452
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:15,600
lines between like, Berta, you
need to become a grandmaster and

453
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,200
listen, whatever you're
interested in, follow your heart

454
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,400
and follow your interests.
Like, how do I be gentle yet

455
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,360
firm?
And I think it's a very

456
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:24,720
challenging balance for any
parent to strike.

457
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,440
And every kid is a little bit
different.

458
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,080
So all the advice out there, I
think with the neurodivergent

459
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,680
child, that's especially
pronounced for me.

460
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,000
But I think it's true for
everyone.

461
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:36,040
Like when I look at my son and
you know, if I was overly ego

462
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,000
invested is the way I would say
it.

463
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:42,160
If I was just totally like, this
boy is an extension of me and my

464
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,560
reputation is on the line,
that's a dangerous place to be.

465
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,600
But also, if I'm not invested at
all, then I'm kind of an

466
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,560
absentee father, right?
So trying to walk that line,

467
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,200
tying it back into your
question, because you brought in

468
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,960
the AI element, I think there's
something really interesting

469
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,640
about the way we interact with
these systems.

470
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,440
Like you said, it's fun to joke
around with it.

471
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:05,400
But yeah, you are not joking
around with a person, right?

472
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,400
You're playing with an algorithm
that predicts words based on

473
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,240
training data of the entire
Internet and a lot of

474
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:16,080
reinforcement learning with
human feedback to try to promote

475
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,960
it, to try to say something that
is what you want to hear.

476
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,720
Yeah.
And if you're just joking around

477
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,920
about The Simpsons or whatever,
that's hilarious because it's

478
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,920
like your friend who's memorized
every episode.

479
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,360
That's kind of funny.
If you're asking me about what

480
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:30,360
to do as a parent or your
emotional challenges or you're

481
00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:33,360
trying to get advice for your
finances and things like that.

482
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:37,240
We have to start to be a little
bit more careful, especially,

483
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,120
and this is a really important
point, especially because it's

484
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,400
been trained to tell you what
you want to hear.

485
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,440
So if you're asking about
finances, it's not a huge deal.

486
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,880
It's like, OK, well here's what
the tax, you know, federal tax

487
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,000
program is, and here's what you
need to do.

488
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,920
But if you're asking about your
emotions or you're trying to

489
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,400
make friends with it, I would
say this specific category,

490
00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:00,160
psychologists and therapists,
meditation teachers, friends and

491
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,120
family, the value they have in
your life is because they're the

492
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,440
people that specifically are
going to tell you what you need

493
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,160
to hear, not necessarily what
you want want to hear.

494
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,080
And the AI hasn't really been
trained that way.

495
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,480
It's not inconceivable that it
could be, but we have to

496
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:16,040
remember what we're talking to.
And, you know, there's a lot to

497
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,640
unpack about what that is.
But yeah, I hope that is that's

498
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,240
the start for us.
Yeah, for sure.

499
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,120
And, and, and Josh, maybe if you
can dovetail on that, because

500
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:27,520
I'm fascinated by, you know,
what, what the general feedback

501
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,200
is.
And I talked to other parents

502
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,760
about how they're using AI with
their kids.

503
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,320
And for me, I think it's, it's
interesting because you know,

504
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,600
when we were kids, obviously I'm
old enough to remember Cliff's

505
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,240
notes.
I don't know if if you if they

506
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,680
had that in Canada, but you
know, it's just basically like,

507
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,760
instead of reading the book, you
would get the summary of like

508
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,040
Hamlet or Othello or whatever it
was.

509
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,200
You would just basically get the
little bullet points and then

510
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,000
you would change a word here and
there.

511
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,000
And you know, that was our
version of of ChatGPT.

512
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:57,560
But Josh, I wanted to get a
sense as a parent because I have

513
00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,920
a little bit of a selfish
interest is I want to understand

514
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:01,520
like what the experience has
been.

515
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,760
I guess the question is, are
parents talking to you about AI

516
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,080
or you maybe technology brought
maybe we can broaden the, the

517
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:13,080
basket here about technology and
the impact on their kids and,

518
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,080
and what are you hearing from
like teenagers?

519
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,080
Maybe again, a broad question,
but maybe if you can give us

520
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,840
kind of the lay of the land from
a therapist lens in terms of

521
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,880
what you're seeing technology,
you can talk about AI, but if

522
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,160
you need to broaden it, that's
fine.

523
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,560
But what impact that's having on
mental health as a therapist?

524
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,120
I think, you know, one of the
things that I'm hearing

525
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:37,000
consistently sometimes from like
nieces and nephews and also

526
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:41,040
clients, children is, you know,
Oh well, we have to be really

527
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,480
careful at school with the
tattoo PT because now they have

528
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,880
these technologies that can
figure out if using tattoo PT.

529
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:52,680
So they, you know, there's a lot
of sort of, I think I don't know

530
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,880
if it's like a confusion or like
maybe they had been using it and

531
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,240
trying to figure out how to use
it more wisely and more

532
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,840
efficiently.
I'm also seeing like there's a

533
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,840
little bit of like this.
Maybe it's fatigue of like

534
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,600
having to do the work.
You know versus.

535
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,280
Like a quick kind of way of
doing, getting around work and

536
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,760
doing work, like showing your
work, doing the work.

537
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:18,200
That's changing, I think a lot
of times even in classrooms, I

538
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,240
think they're even teaching
stuff nowadays.

539
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,160
You might know better both of
you with your kids.

540
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:27,680
But so some of that sort of dis
unsettlement is, you know,

541
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,000
feeling unsettled around some of
those issues.

542
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,480
And then the the general feeling
with the, you know, the AI thing

543
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:37,160
is it's fun to use.
I'm enjoying, you know, like

544
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,960
asking quick questions.
You know, I was telling you guys

545
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,160
yesterday, I think somebody, one
of my clients using Doctor Chad

546
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,160
PT for like a very difficult
medical diagnosis.

547
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:49,400
Now that's more adult, but it's
being used just at various

548
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,880
levels.
For some people, it is

549
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,040
gratifying in the sense I got a
quick answer from Chachi PT

550
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,000
about what I should do about my
boyfriend or like, what about

551
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,120
this situation?
But I don't think people are

552
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:04,800
left feeling empowered.
I don't think they've, they're

553
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,240
left feeling like, OK, I feel
like it takes away a little bit

554
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:12,080
of that thinking through issues.
And I know this is probably not

555
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:16,320
your question, but I'm adding my
two cents about why that might

556
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:20,640
be a little problematic of just
relying on, you know, the AI,

557
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,120
you know, as far as like
thinking through issues, waiting

558
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,960
on answers.
This is going to get into a

559
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,040
little bit of the idea of
delayed gratification.

560
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,320
But, you know, one of the, you
know, spiritual principles in

561
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,720
Hinduism that I recall, you
know, growing up was this idea

562
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,000
of waiting.
You know, and I think it's

563
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,800
called Shreyas, is the idea if
there's a desire that you have,

564
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,000
right?
Can and it's an attachment.

565
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:49,240
Can we give it a pause, give it
time before acting on that

566
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:53,960
wrapping it And the you know,
the other idea is when we do let

567
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,960
it go, finally, when we do sort
of give that time and that pause

568
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,120
and that reflection is that is
that desire still needed?

569
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,960
Does it fall off on its own in
some ways?

570
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:07,080
And I'm a little concerned that,
you know, we're not getting that

571
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,560
opportunity as much anymore, not
to be skirt full, not coming

572
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:14,800
from a skirt, even just becoming
from a psychological emotional

573
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:20,080
lens around, you know, this idea
of I need my my needs met now.

574
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,680
And I need.
And when I don't get my needs

575
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,400
met now, what's happening to me
internally?

576
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,640
What is the tension that's
building up?

577
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,200
How does that affect my mood, my
relationships?

578
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,160
You know, we talked about this
in the article.

579
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:37,560
When people are in some kind of
a disagreement together, or

580
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:40,320
they're, you know, one person
wants to sort of talk through

581
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,760
things and the other person is
just not necessarily there.

582
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,360
That's, that makes it very
difficult to come back together

583
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:52,280
to, to work through something.
And so because the other partner

584
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:55,080
may feel that I'm not ready for
this conversation.

585
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,080
So I'm going to go ahead and
disappear into take an avoidant

586
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,400
approach and disappear into
something that's very

587
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:03,840
gratifying, the immediate sort
of rewards.

588
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:06,280
And that's my device.
And that could be a chat bot,

589
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,040
that could be social media,
could be some other kind of

590
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,560
application.
So it's unfolding in a lot of

591
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,640
places.
It's and that's why I'm here

592
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:17,960
today because also I wanted to
talk about it from, you know,

593
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,960
both ends here.
Like this is a reality for us,

594
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,080
and it's like, how do we
navigate this in the healthiest

595
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:25,960
way?
Well, I think you bring up a

596
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:30,280
great point because I think the
danger that I see again, and

597
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,480
this is for people who don't
maybe don't have the awareness

598
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,560
or maybe kind of what I always
say is broaden the lens, widen

599
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,440
the lens and not just look at
the interaction in the here and

600
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,440
now and whatever problem you're
trying to solve or whatever it

601
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,840
you're trying to scratch, which
is just basically like that

602
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,000
immediate gratification.
But I'm just bringing that up

603
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:51,040
because with chatbot, my friend,
and she was a podcast guest also

604
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:55,000
Priya Nelkor, she had an article
in Psych Today talking about one

605
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,960
of the dangers.
And I apologize, Priya, if

606
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,680
you're listening, if, if I
misquoted you here, but one of

607
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,000
the dangers with AI is just that
there is no friction.

608
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,320
There's literally like you ask a
question and sometimes I've had

609
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,600
this happen where it'll just
kind of it, it, it'll just kind

610
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:13,440
of glitch on me and then it'll
either cut out midstream or, you

611
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,600
know, but by and large, it's
like if you ask it a question,

612
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:18,400
you'll get that little black
box.

613
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,240
And I kind of calibrate my
breathing while I'm, you know,

614
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,680
absorbing the information, you
know, I breathe in, breathe out.

615
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,160
But the bottom line is you're
going to get an answer really

616
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,240
quickly.
And the problem is, I think

617
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,400
people get so accustomed to
that.

618
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,640
And that's not how real life is.
And so I think the lot of time

619
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,760
when there's that frictionless
experience that doesn't exist in

620
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,920
the real world, you know,
someone is probably in the

621
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,160
middle of 10 different things.
They're got, you know, they're

622
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,880
responding to texts, they've got
emails, they've got to pick up

623
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,720
their kid from soccer.
It, it would kind of scare me if

624
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,480
you did get that real time
response.

625
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,640
There's always some type of
delay.

626
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,560
I think Coca-Cola had a slogan,
the pause that refreshes.

627
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,360
And I think that's pretty
apropos here because that pause

628
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,080
can be refreshing.
It's just kind of like, right, I

629
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:01,760
mean, what's that?
So.

630
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,720
Thank you.
The healthiest drink?

631
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:04,240
Coca.
Cola.

632
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:05,160
Yeah, of course.
Coke.

633
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:09,000
Yeah, Sponsored by?
No, But I was just saying that

634
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:12,480
because it's like that.
That is what scares the hell out

635
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,200
of me.
I'll be honest because I tell

636
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,840
you, there are so many,
especially teens when their

637
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:20,080
brains are still forming, they
don't have those lessons yet

638
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,480
about the rules of engagement,
the rules of the road.

639
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,080
And so what's to stop them from
saying like, let's say they're

640
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,920
in a relationship and they don't
get that instant gratification.

641
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:32,280
Maybe they're, you know, their
boyfriend is, is at the gym or

642
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,640
they're not able to respond and
they're like, screw it, I'm just

643
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,800
going to start, you know,
getting, I don't want to say

644
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,040
promiscuous, but you know what I
mean?

645
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:41,200
Just kind of like more Willy
nilly starting relationships

646
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,360
with whoever because they get
that gratification.

647
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:47,280
So that, that, to be honest, is
my, my big concern is that

648
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:51,120
we're, we're sort of using that
sense of delayed gratification

649
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:54,080
and we're, we're just going to
look for that quick fix because

650
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,480
we're already dopamine addicted
as a society.

651
00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:00,000
And I think AI is just, you
know, the quote, Spinal Tap, it

652
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,120
takes it to 11 there.
It just takes it just amps that

653
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,680
up and that, that can be very
dangerous, especially with with

654
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,440
kids.
If there's anything else you

655
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:09,960
guys want to contribute to that
11.

656
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,240
I think with a lot of the things
we're talking about, whether

657
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:16,240
it's using AI or being
promiscuous, it's like there are

658
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:17,280
contacts.
I'm interested.

659
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,880
This Yeah, there are confidence
within which this is a perfectly

660
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,240
fine thing to do.
It's fine to do, right?

661
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,280
Yeah, yeah.
We're not out here to judge

662
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,200
anyone for their choices.
I think the challenge becomes

663
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,200
like, none of these issues are
so black and white.

664
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:31,400
And I think that's why this is
harm.

665
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,440
We can't just be like, AI is bad
and a problem and we can't be

666
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,520
like, it's good and no problem.
Same with being promiscuous or,

667
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,760
you know, any of the other types
of conversations.

668
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,640
The fact that our technology has
gotten so advanced that it's a

669
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,000
part of that conversation is
really kind of interesting,

670
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,560
which we can kind of shelf for
now.

671
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,840
The part that I think I wanted
to add, this is kind of where

672
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,960
the issue becomes a little
spiritual for me because in my

673
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:57,360
half as a meditator, you know,
there's a couple of really deep

674
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,080
things that I've learned from
the process of meditation.

675
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:04,600
But like, you know, I'm no guru,
but if I had to stab one thing,

676
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:08,240
that might be a recipe for a
happy life with for people in

677
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,840
general.
My best guess would be like

678
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:15,680
learning to befriend discomfort,
like being comfortable with

679
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:19,120
being uncomfortable, which
includes being comfortable with

680
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,960
pain and being comfortable with
not knowing and being

681
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:25,440
comfortable with confusion and
all the challenging emotions you

682
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,440
know that we might face in our
human lives.

683
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,840
The way that our technology has
shaped itself in the past 20-30

684
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,560
years is it has served up
comfortable illusions for us in

685
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,400
almost every area of life.
Right.

686
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:39,000
Porn is a comfortable illusion
of sex.

687
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:43,040
You know the YouTube podcasts
are like a comfortable illusion

688
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,560
of hanging out with your
friends.

689
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,480
AI is a comfortable illusion of
a conversation.

690
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:50,520
Social media can give you a
comfortable illusion of being

691
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:53,760
popular and engaged.
You know, games give you a

692
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,800
comfortable illusion of play,
but you don't actually have to

693
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,400
negotiate the play or figure out
the rules and deal with

694
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,640
conflict.
And So what tends to happen is

695
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:05,240
that the deeper someone goes
into these worlds, the harder it

696
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,679
becomes when they collide with
the realities of actual, real

697
00:34:08,679 --> 00:34:11,360
life.
And so it's totally fine to

698
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:12,960
engage in all of these
technologies.

699
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,000
There's no problem.
But the thing that we have to

700
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,159
monitor from an almost spiritual
lens.

701
00:34:17,159 --> 00:34:19,239
But if you're not a spiritual
person that at least from the

702
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,920
lens of mindfulness and
awareness and like groundedness

703
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:26,560
and reality is like this
technology is, it's influencing

704
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,560
my ability to exist in the real
world, influencing my ability to

705
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,320
wait.
I think, Josh, that was a great

706
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,880
example, right?
That is a perfect, perfect

707
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:37,920
example of this at play, which
is you can use this technology

708
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:40,760
fine, but the more you use it,
you might find it way hard to

709
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,040
wait for things.
And as a parent, I see that with

710
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:46,360
my kid, if he plays video games
first thing in the morning, the

711
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,520
rest of his day feels super
boring.

712
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,280
But if the end of the day, we
have a great time and it's

713
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,520
joyful.
And I've had like some amazing

714
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:58,080
connection moments playing
classic NES games from the 90s

715
00:34:58,080 --> 00:34:59,800
with him.
Him showing me some of the games

716
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,600
that he's playing, He's like
showing off his farm in Stardew

717
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,040
Valley.
And I think it would be a

718
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,840
mistake to just like let him
play all day and find life

719
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,280
boring.
But I also think it would be a

720
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,280
mistake to become like a brutal
dictator of a father and be

721
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,000
like, you're not allowed to
enjoy video games because I love

722
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,640
video games too.
And I think it's the same thing

723
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,640
with promiscuity or using AI to
have a conversation with

724
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,800
friends.
Like it's unfortunately, you

725
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,480
know, I wish I wrote, I wrote
something like this in my book.

726
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,920
Like, I wish it were not the
case that we had to be this

727
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,360
vigilant, you know, around the
technology that is ubiquitous in

728
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,440
our lives.
But as far as I'm concerned,

729
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,520
unless something dramatically
changes in the incentives of our

730
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,520
economy and tech companies and
the way this works, it is simply

731
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,240
the price of admission for the
21st century.

732
00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:44,560
If you care about your
well-being, that you have to be

733
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,960
aware and mindful about the
impact these technologies are

734
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:50,320
having on you.
But you can't turn into the like

735
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,760
opposite, which is that like,
fun is bad.

736
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,320
And none of this can be fun.
And like, you shouldn't be kids,

737
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,440
you shouldn't be playing video
games.

738
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:59,200
You should never talk to AI.
You should never use AI to help

739
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,440
you with your homework.
There's ways to use AI to deepen

740
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,280
your learning, obviously, right?
So this is the nuance that we're

741
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:05,880
all struggling with
collectively, I think.

742
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:07,560
Yeah.
And, and I think we have to be

743
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,240
creative too, because one of the
things that I'm really

744
00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:13,840
passionate about is language.
So mom and Dad, you can feel

745
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:17,240
better that you got a good ROI
on your investment in getting a

746
00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:18,920
a degree in French literature.
Sure.

747
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:23,040
Sorry, I just had to throw.
That something so cuddles are

748
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,520
not that like framing of
parenting with an ROI that just

749
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:31,440
feels so apro yeah, but.
I know they're listening, but

750
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:32,920
The thing is, love you mom and
dad.

751
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,600
But The thing is, no.
I just bring that up because for

752
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:39,960
me, I find so fascinating
because of the lack of limits,

753
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,640
you know, with, with
linguistics, because I mean,

754
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,000
this thing literally knows every
language.

755
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,920
It's even better than Duolingo.
Sorry, Duolingo.

756
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,960
But The thing is, there's like
Duolingo, I, I don't know if you

757
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,960
guys are aware of this, but I
was trying to learn Tagalog just

758
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,640
because I, I deal with a lot of
folks who are Filipino speaking.

759
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,720
Duolingo doesn't have Tagalog.
I mean, what, what the, what

760
00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:01,280
right.
So I'm just bringing that up

761
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:04,440
because that's a use case that I
found to be very enriching for

762
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:07,560
me because there's the whole
notion of neuroplastic, right?

763
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,040
And I think when you do a new
skill, whether it's learning a

764
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,400
new instrument or learning how
to cook, or in my case, learning

765
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,560
a foreign language, it's like
you can feel the neurons, right?

766
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,320
You can say, what is it?
The neurons that fire together,

767
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,200
wire together.
That's something that I find

768
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:27,240
fascinating is the implications
for of AI on neuroplasticity.

769
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,200
Because again, if we're using it
as a tool, I think about it like

770
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,880
a knife, right?
I mean, a knife can be used to

771
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,880
cut vegetables to feed your
family or some more sinister

772
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,680
topics that we don't need to go
into here.

773
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,280
But the point is, AI is just
like that.

774
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,880
I mean, it's just, and for me,
like my son is really into

775
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,480
soccer, right?
And so one thing I love about

776
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,400
that is it's such a global
sport.

777
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:50,600
And, you know, he wants, and I'm
encouraging him in this, he

778
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,480
wants to play for Barcelona when
he grows up, reaching for the

779
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,160
stars, trying to keep his feet
on the ground.

780
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,840
But the point is, I'm like to
get better at soccer to make it

781
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,280
a more rich experience.
I think it would be helpful to

782
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,320
learn Spanish.
And so like when he's watching

783
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,560
the games, he can understand the
commentary because they're

784
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,240
speaking 20 million miles a
minute is like the only thing it

785
00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:11,440
can understand is gold.
But then it's like, so one of

786
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:16,320
the things that I got out of my,
my agent is we started talking

787
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,760
in Spanish.
I had Evan in the car with me

788
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:22,000
and I would ask him, you know, I
was like, oh, Preguntalaya, open

789
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,520
AI, blah, blah, blah.
And so he was a little nervous

790
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,600
at first, but he started getting
a little bit more comfortable

791
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:31,360
because, you know, again, open
AI kind of calibrates based on

792
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,280
what you're feeding it.
So I would say, yeah, I, I think

793
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,880
you're 100% right, Jay, in terms
of not not taking this black or

794
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,880
white perspective and, and
really just sort of doing

795
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,840
everything with discernment and
just seeing open AI as a tool.

796
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:47,120
Because I have friends, like I
have a good friend of mine.

797
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:50,200
He's a, he's a writer.
I won't say the the outlet he's

798
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,480
with because I don't want to
shame him.

799
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:56,040
But the point is, I asked him
about open AI, just AI in

800
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:57,440
general.
I said, because, you know,

801
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,640
obviously each one has different
purposes or use cases.

802
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,800
I don't know if you guys have
heard this as well, but everyone

803
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,000
who's in writing, they said that
Claude is really more is better

804
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,520
suited to that.
So I don't know if you guys have

805
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,720
heard that Claude AI, but I
brought it up and he literally

806
00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:12,800
he gave him the word is
apoplectic.

807
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,960
Like he literally just started
frothing at the mouth saying

808
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:17,640
open eye is terrible, blah,
blah, blah.

809
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,880
And I just think that that black
or white thinking where it's

810
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,280
just like, oh, this stuff is the
end of humanity.

811
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,040
And, you know, we're basically
going to this Orwellian

812
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,320
hellscape.
That's that's Cray Cray.

813
00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:32,160
Yeah, the, the irony is that a
lot of a lot of tech is

814
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:33,960
polarizing conversations like
that.

815
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:37,360
But I can put a quick finer
point on this, which is so I

816
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,560
helped start and I'm an advisor
and my brother is a founder of a

817
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,560
company called Feel Good Games.
And we have a product that's

818
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:47,440
called Little Magic Stories and
it's an AI product for kids.

819
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,400
It's very, very early, but you
can play it for free right now.

820
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,880
But it's an example that anyone
could go with your kid an

821
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,520
experience.
Like it's all about the context.

822
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,680
So as a designer, what I've been
really interested in around this

823
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,160
project is like, can we design A
context?

824
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,400
Like because if you just send
your kid to ChatGPT

825
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:07,000
unsupervised, that's a little
bit dicey.

826
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,440
But if you can design A context
and I think we're targeting like

827
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:13,400
7 to 9 year olds, like maybe 5
to 10 year olds some, somewhere

828
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,040
in that range right now.
And it's like the idea would be

829
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,840
like, let's design A-frame where
the guardrails are very clear

830
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,520
and appropriate for this age
where the context isn't just ask

831
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,640
anything.
It's like an imagination.

832
00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:25,160
Good story, use your
imagination.

833
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,200
Let's aim it to promote
literacy.

834
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:28,880
Let's calibrate to reading
level.

835
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,080
Let's target the stories to help
build imagination.

836
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:36,040
Let's gamify the more creative
and kind and brave prompts that

837
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,400
people are offering.
And we're seeing kids engage

838
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,200
with this.
And it's a very positive

839
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,440
interaction with AI.
We just had a research session

840
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:46,040
yesterday where the parent came
in with exactly that tone like

841
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:49,760
this AI is bad for humanity.
I'm really skeptical about this

842
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:53,640
product that we're about to try.
And then Fast forward 20 minutes

843
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:55,640
later and they're sitting with
their kid and the kid is

844
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,560
laughing and they're laughing
and they're kind of realizing,

845
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,560
oh, like, you know, if you put
the constraints on, actually

846
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,400
this can be really powerful.
And I think it's exactly what

847
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,400
we're talking about.
Like the general way we're

848
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:09,680
thinking is like, oh, AI, this
amorphous technology we created

849
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,600
is bad, right?
But that would be like saying

850
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,800
like GPS satellites are bad.
It's.

851
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,960
Like cars are bad because.
If you're using them to spy on

852
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:18,920
people, that's not good.
And if you're using them to help

853
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,560
you get to your family's house,
then that's good, right?

854
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,200
So how are we using this
technology is really a big

855
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:25,800
question.
And of course, how are we

856
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,240
creating it, which is a big part
of a conversation too, right?

857
00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:31,240
So there are clear examples of
building that context directly

858
00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:33,720
into the system, which I think
these tech companies need to be

859
00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:36,200
thinking a little bit more.
I just want to say I appreciate

860
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,720
that this is like a, it sounds
like it's like a parent and

861
00:41:38,720 --> 00:41:43,000
child type of interactive.
I think that is really special.

862
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:46,880
I think I feel like not to get
really deep and morbid and you

863
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,280
know, in this, but I feel like
these, you know, platforms

864
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:55,320
sometimes take us into a very
solo sort of play solo life, you

865
00:41:55,320 --> 00:42:00,120
know, individualism and sort of
takes us away from sometimes

866
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,480
reality, right?
Sometimes an escape, like you

867
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,320
said, sometimes it's a beautiful
escape.

868
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,960
Sometimes it's just something to
procrastinate with, whatever

869
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,040
that is.
No judgement.

870
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,560
I get it, we all do it.
But I think there's something to

871
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:15,280
be said about we are starting to
see people kind of wanting to be

872
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:18,160
siloing off a little bit.
You know, you kind of see it

873
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,280
even in like the dating world
and stuff.

874
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:22,600
I see it with some of my clients
who are, you know, trying to

875
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,840
date and things and like it's
like, oh, maybe not.

876
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,080
Maybe I'll just be a solo, you
know, parent and that's fine or

877
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,560
solo partner or whatever.
That is all that's fine.

878
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:34,240
But it's just interesting to me,
you know, not needing a reliance

879
00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:36,360
is the end of this at some
point.

880
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:38,040
Not me.
I mean, reliance on anyone.

881
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:41,080
That's the extreme level.
I my mind just goes there or

882
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,840
went there.
That's, that's fear, right?

883
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,280
Like it's what we're talking
about before.

884
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:47,720
Like, I think a lot of people,
they, the technology can give

885
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:51,400
you this opportunity to turn
inward and give in to the fear

886
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,360
of how hard it is to put
yourself out there.

887
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,560
And it's like, there are
definitely people who want to be

888
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:56,960
alone and there's good reasons
for that.

889
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,200
But now there's these reasons,
which is like, I'm just going to

890
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,920
talk to my AI girlfriend because
talking to real women is hard.

891
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,320
And that's just tragic.
It's like the movie.

892
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,360
Was that movie her?
Wasn't there a movie?

893
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:10,240
Spike Jones, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, Talking to each

894
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:11,760
other is hard.
It always has been.

895
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:15,000
It's not anyone's fault.
But like hiding away in your AI

896
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,800
bot, like, you know, it's not,
it's not necessarily going to

897
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,720
lead to that lasting
fulfillment.

898
00:43:19,720 --> 00:43:22,000
Sometimes you have to climb a
mountain to feel the feeling at

899
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,560
the top of it, and you can live
a neutral life where you're not

900
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:27,480
feeling the peak of the mountain
or the valley.

901
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,960
I just don't, you know, I think
the ship is made to be sailed,

902
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,560
right?
And that's why I appreciate if

903
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:35,240
there's, you know, the apps that
you're talking about or the, you

904
00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:36,800
know, the one that you're
building, working on.

905
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:40,480
And that sort of promotes even
like more of that family, you

906
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,800
know, kind of dynamic for
parents and kids, at least at

907
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:45,200
the very least, or like spout,
you know, couples or

908
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,520
relationships, something you can
do with a friend.

909
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,280
I think that would be very
fascinating to me.

910
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:53,600
I feel that also promotes that
psychological well-being of

911
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,080
attunement with each other.
We're going together.

912
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:59,760
That's really important, right?
With human connection is that

913
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:04,640
oxytocin moment coming together,
serotonin, whatever it is, those

914
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:09,000
feel good sort of chemicals that
come when we're with someone

915
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,640
doing something together.
I think like if that's some of

916
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,760
the future of AI, think that's
really be really positive too.

917
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:16,120
Yeah.
I feel like in that lens, I

918
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,640
mean, maybe we want to promote
more promiscuity.

919
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,880
You got to promise you to on the
brain, man.

920
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,280
I just thought it was funny that
you brought it up.

921
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:29,720
Yeah, well, I, no, I mean, just
to in all seriousness, I do

922
00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:32,480
think it's a concern because
it's just like, you know, when

923
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,320
you, when you are so used to
getting what you want and you're

924
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:38,440
so used to that gratification,
real life sucks.

925
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,600
I mean, real life really friggin
sucks because it's just like,

926
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,600
you know, you're not giving me
the answer I need in

927
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:46,080
interactions with friends or
family sometimes, like I'll,

928
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,720
I'm, I'm pretty terse in my
texts.

929
00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:51,880
I don't know if it's because I'm
an empath or whatever the label

930
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,800
is, but it's just like, I don't
want to bombard somebody with my

931
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,840
shit.
You know, I just like basically,

932
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,560
you know, so, so I don't
overload them, but you know, if

933
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,120
they want a response, I'll be,
I'll keep my responses very

934
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,800
short and sweet just because I I
don't want to, if it's going to

935
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,440
be a more prolonged discussion,
pick up the phone or let's do a

936
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:12,240
zoom or whatever.
But my point is ChatGPT doesn't

937
00:45:12,240 --> 00:45:15,080
roll that way.
ChatGPT for somebody who needs

938
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:19,240
that constant response.
And, you know, this is a this is

939
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,600
an episode.
So in and of itself, it would be

940
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,640
interesting maybe in a couple
years to see what the rates of

941
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:27,480
narcissism are in the world
after ChatGPT.

942
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,200
Am I right?
Because it's like, if you think

943
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,280
about it, if you're somebody who
needs validation, if you're

944
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:35,640
somebody who needs to be told
going back to the sycophantic

945
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:38,600
angle that you're the shit, you
know, you're a visionary, you're

946
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,960
whatever you're going to take
over the world.

947
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:42,720
Yeah.
I mean, ChatGPT will give you

948
00:45:42,720 --> 00:45:45,920
that all day long, right.
So anyways, that's that's one of

949
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:48,600
those, you know, sort of
bookmark it.

950
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,080
We can.
We can return to it later.

951
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:53,280
I I think double double clicking
on that just dead.

952
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,000
Hey, there's metaphors.
I was just you literally, Jake,

953
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,040
you're in my head.
Literally when you talked about

954
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,320
metaphors, double clicking is
the one you know you're talking

955
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:01,640
about desktop.
Yeah, go ahead.

956
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:03,520
Sorry, I got really excited.
Yeah.

957
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,680
You know, the sycophantic AI,
which I know we talked about

958
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,920
yesterday, but just to to sort
of it's, it's related to that

959
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,960
RLHF when these things are.
And you read my mind again.

960
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:13,160
Literally.
I was going to ask you that

961
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:14,240
next.
I love that it came up

962
00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:15,320
organically.
Sorry.

963
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:16,360
I'll shut up now.
Go ahead.

964
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:20,720
You know, people think of AI as
like, you know, but somehow it's

965
00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:24,160
trained on the Internet, really,
it has been fed certain data,

966
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,840
not all data, and it has then
been meticulously trained often

967
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:31,200
by people in the global S to
tell you what you want to hear.

968
00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:35,080
And so, like Josh, if we take
the example you gave of like,

969
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,200
you know, a teenage girl talking
about whether about their

970
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,520
boyfriend, right?
It's like you just asked me one

971
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,120
question.
You know, I think my boyfriend

972
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:43,720
is is a real jerk.
Like what do you think?

973
00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:46,000
And it's going to give you this
advice immediately.

974
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,440
And, but and that feels like a,
a real interaction, but it's not

975
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,280
right.
You're actually interacting with

976
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:55,800
a algorithm that was trained on
the conceptual data of the human

977
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,480
Internet, which does not include
a lot of human data,

978
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,400
consciousness, love, kindness,
awareness.

979
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:05,080
That's not in the training data.
Also, it's been tuned to tell

980
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:07,160
that girl exactly what she wants
to hear.

981
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,960
So if you actually asked that
girl to have a multi part

982
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,840
conversation, it might sound
something like, Hey, you know, I

983
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:14,560
think my boyfriend is a real
jerk.

984
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:16,360
Like, what do you think?
And then they'll be like, you're

985
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,120
right, he's a jerk, you're
amazing.

986
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:19,680
You shouldn't spend time with
this guy.

987
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,440
You should dump his ass and then
she might reply and say, well,

988
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:23,720
he actually he's not a jerk,
though.

989
00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:26,000
He's like a nice guy.
And then they I'll be like great

990
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,200
point Actually.
You should stay with him and you

991
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:32,400
should marry him.
And like, that's kind of what I

992
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,920
mean by sycophantic AI.
It's because it's if a real

993
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:39,640
human behave like that, like if
I came on this podcast today and

994
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:41,440
you're like, what do you think
of this question?

995
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:43,160
That's just a wonderful
question.

996
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:44,920
Here you are.
What an absolute question.

997
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:48,000
What a brilliant podcast host
you are.

998
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:49,520
This is just the greatest thing
ever.

999
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,040
And it's just you.
That's what AI is doing to us.

1000
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,760
And so I think they're that
narcissism is a real concern.

1001
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,440
And you know, people always talk
about kids.

1002
00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:00,120
I also worry about the elderly
who get trapped into these loops

1003
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:03,040
and have no one to talk to.
But fundamentally, you know,

1004
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:06,200
again, it's about how you use
the AI and how we find real

1005
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,040
connection in life.
And I've been recently writing a

1006
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,080
post on this, which I'll
probably post next week,

1007
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:11,720
probably in time for this
episode to go live.

1008
00:48:11,720 --> 00:48:16,080
But I've been thinking about the
word soul as a part of like the

1009
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:19,400
framework through which we might
evaluate how we use AI.

1010
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,880
And I use it not necessarily in
the way a guru or a pastor

1011
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:24,480
might, more the way a musician
might.

1012
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:28,280
Like I'm a musician and I think
about soul music and music that

1013
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,120
is like from the heart.
Sure, right?

1014
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,320
Like people can make all kinds
of fun dance music for a party

1015
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,160
and that's great.
But I've always been drawn to

1016
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,800
music that feels like you're
hearing someone's story.

1017
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:40,640
And I think when we use AI and
also for my peers and

1018
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:44,920
technology, when we build AI, we
need some sort of lens upon like

1019
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:46,680
how do we decide what's worth
building?

1020
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:48,760
Because now we can just snap our
fingers and build anything.

1021
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,120
So what I'm kind of coming
around, especially in the

1022
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:54,240
categories that we're talking
about, can we evaluate this use

1023
00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:57,000
of AI, whether it's going to
deepen a heart to heart human

1024
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,080
connection or whether it's going
to read more distance.

1025
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:00,720
And I'll give you a really
simple example.

1026
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:03,200
You're talking about texting
people or emailing people,

1027
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:05,200
right?
If I use AI to just be like

1028
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:08,120
write an e-mail to Nikhil
thanking him for having me on

1029
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:10,680
this podcast and it just spits
out a reply and I send it to

1030
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,200
you.
First of all, the fact that I

1031
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,000
spent less time generating that,
then it's going to take you to

1032
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:19,440
read that is like a red flag
because I'm asking you basically

1033
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:23,440
to cipher through this vague
noise full of M dashes and weird

1034
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:27,080
metaphors and dash and try to
like find me in it.

1035
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:29,680
And you're probably, you're not
going to find me in it and it's

1036
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:31,200
going to create distance between
them.

1037
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:33,520
Interesting.
But that doesn't mean we should

1038
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,280
never use AI.
If I say, hey, what are like a

1039
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,840
few things that I should say to
Nikhil in my thank you e-mail?

1040
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,520
And it gives me a few bullet
points and I copy paste them and

1041
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,080
I edit them and I take some time
to turn that into an e-mail

1042
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:47,800
that's you're probably still
going to find me in that.

1043
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:49,880
And it's going to draw some
connection, take it even

1044
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:52,160
further.
And this is what I've been doing

1045
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:55,440
kind of with AI is like, what if
I hit record and record a voice

1046
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:58,880
note and you can kind of hear my
voice and the AI you a bit of a

1047
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:00,880
summary of that.
But there's like the human

1048
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:03,600
piece, you know, there's ways we
can use this technology to

1049
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:06,480
deepen connection.
And I think that sole idea goes

1050
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,520
to the things we create as well.
If you're creating a therapy bot

1051
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:11,360
like Josh, you've probably been
thinking about this.

1052
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:14,640
I'd love to hear your thoughts
on AI therapy, like therapists

1053
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,520
or AI.
But it's like there's a version

1054
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:20,520
where that AI is supposed to be
replacing you, which I feel like

1055
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:23,320
is not a good idea.
It's bringing more distance

1056
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,200
between us.
But there's a version where it's

1057
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,760
sending people to you, right?
There's a version where it's

1058
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,120
helping people, people find the
resources that you and your

1059
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:32,320
peers have created in clarifying
a message.

1060
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:34,480
And that feels like it has more
soul in it to me.

1061
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:36,920
So I've been playing around with
this because I don't think it's

1062
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:40,920
necessarily impossible for us to
avoid Nikhil's your, your

1063
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:43,360
narcissistic feature state.
But you know, I don't see the

1064
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:46,080
incentives lined up to, to fix
that anytime soon.

1065
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:49,120
But I don't think it's
necessarily impossible for us to

1066
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:51,760
use AI more skillfully.
Well, one thing, one thing, if I

1067
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:55,640
may, I, I think sometimes what
can be helpful is sort of taking

1068
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:59,440
the other extreme of the, the
side of, of the spectrum.

1069
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,680
When I, what I mean by that is
because AI is so tech heavy and

1070
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,920
it's so frictionless, something
I've been doing is actually

1071
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:09,120
intentionally increasing the
friction and how I consume

1072
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,960
things like music.
So, you know, back in college

1073
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:14,160
or, you know, I have a lot of
friends, they have vinyl

1074
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,520
records.
I mean, vinyl's cool, but first

1075
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,680
of all, it's, you know, you get
like 4 songs on one side and

1076
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,520
it's like, I ain't nobody got
time for that.

1077
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:24,640
So what I've done is I've
actually gotten CD players and

1078
00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:27,840
I'm listening to CD's and I find
that that's honestly, I know

1079
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:32,200
that's I'm, I'm sounding like a
boomer, but work, work with me

1080
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,040
here.
So The thing is, I'm thinking of

1081
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:37,400
like there's a album Rolling
Stones Sticky Fingers, right?

1082
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,120
That's like one of my favorite
albums.

1083
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:42,240
And I'm just thinking about the
concept of consuming it on

1084
00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:44,720
Spotify.
Now, obviously I can just get

1085
00:51:44,720 --> 00:51:48,000
all the songs Spotify will
generate like a playlist based

1086
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:49,880
on that.
It'll throw in some doors, it'll

1087
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:51,520
sew in some Van Morrison,
whatever.

1088
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:54,800
But the point is with ACD, I'm
very confined to it.

1089
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,880
So sometimes I'll walk around
the block with like my Discman,

1090
00:51:57,960 --> 00:52:01,200
listen to that album and I'll
just take a trip down memory

1091
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:02,760
lane.
You know, I'm thinking about

1092
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:05,040
this song Moonlight Mile.
I'm thinking about, you know,

1093
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,920
back in Ohio shoveling snow.
I don't see that stuff anymore

1094
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:11,960
because I'm in San Diego, ha ha.
But the point is it's like I

1095
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:16,160
just encourage people to take a
more intentional and deliberate

1096
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:19,320
use of things that we take for
granted because it's just like,

1097
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:20,880
you know, books are a prime
example.

1098
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:23,760
I don't think I've heard like
CDs are CD players are hard to

1099
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:25,800
find.
Like I had to do some real to go

1100
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,000
to a lot of thrift stores and I
think I got this one off Amazon.

1101
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:31,240
But my point is, I encourage
anyone who's listening just to

1102
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:34,720
go the other extreme that will
train your muscles or your

1103
00:52:34,720 --> 00:52:36,840
gratification, delayed
gratification muscles.

1104
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:39,640
So you're you're not sort of
this slave to AI.

1105
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:41,160
Does that make sense?
I don't know what your guys

1106
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:43,760
thoughts are on that I.
Mean it it does.

1107
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:47,520
It's a hard sell.
Yeah, it's not for everyone.

1108
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:49,320
I agree.
Disk man.

1109
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:52,080
Yeah, man, I'm I'm old school.
I'm an uncle.

1110
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:55,240
What do you want from me?
Yeah, I mean, it's it that's a

1111
00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:56,680
hard one.
I mean, the delayed

1112
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:59,200
gratification piece, people
don't even know they're going

1113
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:02,120
through that.
That's yeah, there's no presence

1114
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:03,560
with it.
It's just happening.

1115
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:07,360
It's like autopilot, like, oh,
Yep, even for me, like, oh, my

1116
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:08,920
computer's not working.
What the heck?

1117
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:11,440
You know, this is, I've paid
this, this amount of money for

1118
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:13,040
it Yesterday.
It wasn't charging fast enough.

1119
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:16,520
Had a mini meltdown, you know,
before our recall yesterday.

1120
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:20,320
So it's just, you know, we have
these new and higher

1121
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:23,120
expectations.
You're right, we should be

1122
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:25,400
bringing awareness to this.
And I think that's what one of

1123
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:27,160
these these conversations are
about, right?

1124
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:30,800
But everyone has to kind of, I
guess, realize that for yourself

1125
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:34,840
to, to recognize how that's
playing into your relationships.

1126
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:39,000
How is it playing into how you
interface with technology, with

1127
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,200
AI?
And I think it kind of goes to

1128
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:45,960
the idea of when do we know when
like tech or AI or something is

1129
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:52,520
sort of interfering with like
growth or interfering with Peace

1130
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:55,760
of Mind, whatever it is.
And I think it's Jay's

1131
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,600
absolutely right.
Like these tools are here to be

1132
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:01,360
used with some our own
discretion.

1133
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,040
And that's why kids it's you
don't just release them to

1134
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:06,880
ChatGPT world.
They have to have some sort of

1135
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:09,600
parental supervision or some
kind of support around it.

1136
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,040
Guardrails.
Yeah.

1137
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:15,000
And so The thing is it, it we're
kind of, this is hindsight's

1138
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,160
2020, I feel, because
everybody's in it now.

1139
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:18,760
And it's like, how do we pull
back?

1140
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:22,640
From it, yeah, Jay, how, how do
you to, to that van, how do you,

1141
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,240
how do you sort of regulate
that?

1142
00:54:24,240 --> 00:54:28,160
What are some best practices you
can recommend just to sort of

1143
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:33,320
contain the spread of AI and
sort of overtaking your mind

1144
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:35,000
basically?
What are some obviously you

1145
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:37,360
mentioned like meditation, but
maybe if you can maybe either

1146
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:39,480
double click on that or some
other techniques?

1147
00:54:39,720 --> 00:54:42,280
The whole the whole thing that
I've been bringing is actually

1148
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:45,040
bringing it in a more nuanced
way, bringing the skills that

1149
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,760
meditation and mindfulness teach
to these different areas.

1150
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:50,680
And So what I hear when you're
talking about your disk man and

1151
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:53,480
in general, what we're talking
about, even with little magic

1152
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:56,840
stories as an example, compared
to just the open field of, of

1153
00:54:56,840 --> 00:55:00,200
ChatGPT versus a more, you know,
contained experience.

1154
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:02,240
I think of this idea of
constraint, right?

1155
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:05,440
Which is like as a creative
person, I know that constraint

1156
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:07,640
breeds creativity.
I like to play the Blues

1157
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:11,040
sometimes because it's the same
exact progression every time.

1158
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,080
And you really have to be
creative within that, which is

1159
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:16,160
really fun and can create some
very interesting music.

1160
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,760
Similarly, as a designer,
setting constraints when I'm

1161
00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:21,240
doing a creative workshop is
really, really, really key.

1162
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:23,360
Here's the thing.
I think there's a lot of people

1163
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,600
out there who are just using
technology without thinking at

1164
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:28,720
all about the impacts it's
having.

1165
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:32,200
And for those people, like when
they come across my office, the

1166
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,520
conversation is really about
just like, let's just find some

1167
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:36,600
constraints here.
We need to set some boundaries.

1168
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,560
But the challenges, and this is
true, this is a kind of

1169
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:42,040
undercurrent of our whole
conversation today so far is

1170
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:45,320
like, we don't need the guilt
and the shame to be a part of

1171
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:47,280
this conversation.
We don't need to be guilting

1172
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:50,560
ourselves for using our phones
or for getting mad because our

1173
00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:52,800
computer didn't work.
Like those are emotions.

1174
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,520
It's frustrating and it's OK
that it's frustrating.

1175
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:56,760
We don't have to guilt
ourselves.

1176
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,200
And certainly we don't have to
shame our kids for loving video

1177
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,920
games or wanting to be on social
media with their friends.

1178
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:04,280
They don't need more shame,
right?

1179
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:07,520
I think what we really want to
find a way is to set the

1180
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,320
boundaries smartly, but with a
positive frame.

1181
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:14,040
And the concept that I kind of
invoke for this in the book is

1182
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:18,080
ritual, which is like ritual is
a positive reframe around

1183
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:20,520
constraints and boundaries.
So I'll give you an example of a

1184
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:24,280
ritual I have.
So I only watch one show or

1185
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:25,880
movie per day.
That's just something I've

1186
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:29,280
decided is good for me to not
just like, you know, watch 12

1187
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:32,160
episodes straight or just like
lose myself in TV in the middle

1188
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:33,560
of the day.
Yeah, things like that.

1189
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:36,680
But I don't just set it like a
kind of paternal limit,

1190
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:40,320
paternalistic limit on myself.
I treat it as an opportunity to

1191
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:44,240
also enjoy the ritual of it.
So I also think, how can I make

1192
00:56:44,240 --> 00:56:47,200
that one episode or movie I
watch like more fun, right?

1193
00:56:47,240 --> 00:56:49,880
So how can I be really
intentional about what I choose

1194
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:51,720
to watch?
How can I like, put my, the

1195
00:56:51,720 --> 00:56:54,960
distractions away, pop some
popcorns, invite my wife to join

1196
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,280
me and make it a kind of magic
moment, a beautiful ritual.

1197
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:00,720
In our evening, we finished
putting our son to bed.

1198
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:03,600
We go watch a show.
We got some popcorn, we're

1199
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:06,200
chatting, we're hanging out.
And it actually catches some of

1200
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:08,480
that magic that I had.
Like I actually, well, my first

1201
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:11,880
job was at a movie theater and
we got to watch the early

1202
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:14,000
Cannes, like when they would
send the projections.

1203
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,880
I remember Gladiator
specifically.

1204
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,280
When you say Cannes you mean
like pre pre production?

1205
00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:20,240
Oh OK I got you.
I thought you meant the Cannes,

1206
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:21,920
the Cannes Film Festival.
Sorry.

1207
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:23,360
OK, Gotcha.
Gotcha.

1208
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:23,960
OK.
No, no.

1209
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:27,640
No, no, I was not a Cannes Film
Festival as a child, that would

1210
00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:28,000
be.
Cool.

1211
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:29,480
That would be cool.
Yeah, go ahead.

1212
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:31,080
Sorry.
So they they basically send the

1213
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:34,160
film canisters on the Wednesday
and the and the release date is

1214
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,440
Friday.
And so when we got them early on

1215
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:39,520
Thursday, we would have like an
internal staff party and we'd

1216
00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:41,640
all get to watch Gladiator
before it came out.

1217
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:43,720
And it was like a magic fun
moment.

1218
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:47,640
And it's like an example of the
feeling that I now get when I

1219
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,640
pop that popcorn and I kind of
watch my one show for the day.

1220
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:53,920
And the same can be true about
AI and social media and games

1221
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:56,360
and checking your work e-mail
and all the things that can

1222
00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:58,160
stress us out.
It's like, how can we set those

1223
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,000
constraints?
But like your disk man, you've

1224
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:03,520
chosen The Rolling Stones, going
for a walk with the technology

1225
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:06,000
you had when you were younger,
and you're getting some of this

1226
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:07,880
feeling.
So it's not that jokes, you have

1227
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,400
to go get a disk man.
I think it's the deeper

1228
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,160
principle of like, what are the
different categories of

1229
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:15,920
technology where we can build in
some positive rituals that

1230
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:18,920
really, you know, simultaneously
set boundaries around the

1231
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,320
problematic aspects while
rekindling the like love and joy

1232
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,840
that we can experience with
technology, The meaning, the

1233
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:27,360
purpose, the connection.
I think where it gets dangerous

1234
00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:29,520
is to use the mountain metaphor
from before.

1235
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:32,440
A lot of these technologies are
like putting on AVR headset

1236
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:35,000
where you can be at the top of
the mountain even though you're

1237
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:37,200
not really there.
And a lot of people would are,

1238
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,680
are basically out there being
like, why would I climb the

1239
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:41,760
mountain when I can just put
this VR headset on?

1240
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:43,920
That's a spiritual
misunderstanding about what

1241
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:46,360
makes humans.
Humans are happy when they put

1242
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:48,960
the work into climbing the
mountain and they earn it.

1243
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:51,040
And I think a lot of people are
struggling because they're

1244
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,520
getting all this pleasure, this
instant gratification without

1245
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:55,960
really earning it.
And therefore, the, the the

1246
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:58,400
enjoyment is very fleeting.
The connection, the meaning, the

1247
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:01,000
purpose doesn't come the way
they hope it would because

1248
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,800
they're not actually connecting
with people.

1249
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:04,760
They're not actually
accomplishing the things they

1250
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:05,600
say they are.
Yeah.

1251
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:08,080
It's just all a big illusion.
And that's, I think, what we all

1252
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:10,360
have to be careful about.
Yeah, well, no, that's you make

1253
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:12,520
a great point.
I love that mountain concept

1254
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:16,440
because to you know, again, I'm
I'm sort of making these mental

1255
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:19,200
bookmarks about things that I
want to follow up on in five

1256
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:21,480
years.
So I'm my future self is going

1257
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:23,080
to tell me something
interesting.

1258
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:25,640
But what would also be
interesting to see is the

1259
00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:29,920
satisfaction rates of trips, you
know, around the world because I

1260
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:32,880
felt this myself because I went
to Japan a year ago.

1261
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,160
My son is obsessed with Japanese
culture and this was a trip of a

1262
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:38,960
lifetime for him.
But I to be honest, I mean, at

1263
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:41,680
the time it was, I was going
through some massive burnout and

1264
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:43,840
just life was just kind of
kicking my ass.

1265
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:45,440
So that played into it a little
bit.

1266
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:48,640
But part of me was just like,
OK, you know, I can, I can go to

1267
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:53,040
this beautiful temple in Kyoto.
I can spend the time and blah,

1268
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:56,520
blah, blah, I just pull it up on
my, on my iPad and I'm just

1269
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:58,280
like, what's, what's the
difference?

1270
00:59:58,280 --> 01:00:00,840
You know, I'm just bringing that
up because it's like, it would

1271
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:03,720
really be interesting because
when I had travelled, I think

1272
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:08,360
back in 99 when I went to India
and we had to like Aurangabad,

1273
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:12,160
Ajanta, Laura, all these places.
I was, my mind was just blown

1274
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:14,720
because it was like when you
think about technology at that

1275
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:17,640
time, it was very primitive.
You had dial up, you had that

1276
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:20,680
you've got mail bullshit from
AOL, right Where it's just like,

1277
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:22,960
you know, they.
Friggin movie of Tom Hanks.

1278
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:25,840
And but like the point is, it's
like technology was just kind of

1279
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:28,240
this quaint thing.
It was this curiosity, right?

1280
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:31,600
And now it's become so
ubiquitous where it's just like

1281
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:33,920
it's it's in every facet of
everything we do.

1282
01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:36,040
Friggin QR codes have replaced
menus.

1283
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:39,120
That's that sucks, right?
I mean, there's something nice

1284
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:42,280
about a menu, right?
Sorry to be like a crank

1285
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:45,280
crotchety old boomer.
But the point is, going back to

1286
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:47,720
what I was saying, that is
something that's going to be an

1287
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:51,280
interesting downstream like
trend to look at is just what

1288
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:54,400
are people satisfaction rates
with before it?

1289
01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:56,120
Hold on one second.
I'm going to grab something.

1290
01:00:56,120 --> 01:01:00,560
So I don't know if you guys can
see this is travel is the only

1291
01:01:00,560 --> 01:01:02,520
thing you buy that makes you
richer.

1292
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:05,440
If you guys, and this is a plug
for my friend, his name is

1293
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:07,560
Freeman Fung.
He was a guest on the show.

1294
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:09,480
He wrote a book called Travel to
transform.

1295
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:12,720
And I'm just bringing all that
up because it's like travel is

1296
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:16,880
really, that's something you
can't simulate through AI where

1297
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:19,000
it's just like, or VR, whatever
you want to say.

1298
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:21,560
Because it's like, that is such
a personal experience.

1299
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:24,000
The sights, the sounds, the
smells, and someone like me

1300
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:27,320
who's really into languages.
I mean, there's there's nothing

1301
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:29,640
to replicate that.
There's certain melting pots

1302
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:32,760
like Queens or certain towns
where there are like lots of

1303
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:34,240
different cultures.
I'm just bringing that up.

1304
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:37,400
It would be very interesting to
see like if we've removed the

1305
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:39,680
friction of something like
travel where you just have to

1306
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:43,240
get like a triptych from AAA.
Remember those things, those

1307
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:46,760
folding maps now it's just so
frictionless that what is the

1308
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:50,480
satisfaction rate for immersive
experiences like traveling to

1309
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:53,400
Japan or going to or something
like that when it can be

1310
01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:55,960
simulated?
So yeah, a lot of a lot of

1311
01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:57,800
things we got to circle back on
in five years.

1312
01:01:57,840 --> 01:02:00,000
I really like this.
And what you're saying, I think

1313
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:02,600
is really alive.
And it's not even just about

1314
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:05,240
travel.
Like, I think this is where one

1315
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:08,880
of the things that I think I've
most taken from being a

1316
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:11,920
meditation person and just like,
being that guy who just like,

1317
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:15,360
hey, I'm gonna go away for a
week and people expect that to

1318
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:17,480
mean you're gonna go get fucked
up on a beach.

1319
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:19,640
And I'm like, actually, I'm
going to a monastery.

1320
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:23,360
Yeah, right in silence for seven
days.

1321
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:25,320
Monks don't have much of A
tolerance, right?

1322
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:28,120
People are just like, why would
you do that?

1323
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,360
And I always like for anyone
who's listening is like, why

1324
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:33,200
would you do that?
I always say whatever you think

1325
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:36,560
is going to be the challenge
with that is probably true for

1326
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:38,160
day one.
So like if you think it's going

1327
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,960
to be really boring or you can't
even imagine just sitting alone

1328
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:42,320
with your thoughts, you're
right.

1329
01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:44,840
That's going to be the hardest
part on day one, sure.

1330
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:48,160
But day 2 and onward, things are
going to change because as a

1331
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:51,320
human being, you're adaptable.
And so you're not just going to

1332
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:54,080
spend seven days or 10 days or
whatever just sitting there

1333
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:55,440
being like, I'm bored, I'm
bored, I'm bored.

1334
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:56,840
You're something's going to
happen.

1335
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:58,160
And there's only one way to find
out.

1336
01:02:58,160 --> 01:03:00,120
So that's my little plug for
retreats for people.

1337
01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:03,480
But going back to my my .1 of
the things that I've taken away

1338
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:07,080
is that, you know, and I think
the Zen tradition I've, I've

1339
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:09,280
done a lot of practices in a lot
of traditions, but I think the

1340
01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:12,680
Zen tradition, particularly
Rinzai Zen, in my opinion, are

1341
01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:16,320
the most articulate on the
matter of like non conceptual

1342
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:19,440
reality.
There is almost this, it's truly

1343
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:22,440
a oneness, but there's this
duality we most experience

1344
01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:25,760
between the conceptual mind of
language and ideas.

1345
01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:29,840
And then like the actual
physical and sensory experience

1346
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:32,080
of like that we we can't even
talk about, right?

1347
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:34,760
We can't even put words to it.
I don't know what you want to

1348
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:36,720
call it.
Call it consciousness awareness.

1349
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:38,880
You call it God, right?
Whatever you want to call it,

1350
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:41,840
the minute you put a word on it,
you're not it anymore, right?

1351
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:44,360
And that's the whole idea.
But I think what you're talking

1352
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:48,320
about with that travel, whether
you're traveling to Japan or

1353
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:52,360
frankly the corner store right
there is the possibility for you

1354
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:57,160
to be in a non conceptual space.
That non conceptual space does

1355
01:03:57,160 --> 01:04:00,320
not exist online.
It does not exist on a screen.

1356
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:03,560
AI has not no access to it has
never been trained on.

1357
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:05,200
AI is a fully conceptual
reality.

1358
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:09,080
So as long as the same way we
learn in meditation to befriend

1359
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:11,320
our thoughts like early
meditators.

1360
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:13,320
One of the biggest challenges
when I'm teaching meditation is

1361
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:15,440
beginners are like, I can't get
my thoughts to shut up.

1362
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:17,200
And I'm always like, that's not
the goal.

1363
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:19,720
The goal is not to get.
The goal is to befriend your

1364
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:22,920
thoughts, to recognize your
thoughts aren't true in any

1365
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:25,680
objective sense.
They are just a voice that.

1366
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,440
You're here and you're.
Just how strange, how curious,

1367
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:30,720
not it's the enemy go away.
How curious.

1368
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:34,880
So similarly with AI, it's like
it's just an interesting

1369
01:04:34,880 --> 01:04:37,720
conceptual thought experiment,
but it is not reality.

1370
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:41,040
That picture of the
philosopher's walk in Kyoto is

1371
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:43,160
not the actual philosopher's
walk.

1372
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:46,320
Me talking about my trip to
Japan is not going to Japan.

1373
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:49,360
The VR of the top of the
mountain is not the top of the

1374
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:51,760
mountain.
And as long as we can stay true

1375
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:54,320
to that, I think we're going to
be OK with all this technology.

1376
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:58,520
But the problem is it's actually
extremely hard to stay true to

1377
01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:00,400
that.
And it's a skill that we have to

1378
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,600
train.
And This is why I've been

1379
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:05,440
devoting my kind of professional
life to bringing the concepts of

1380
01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:08,760
mindfulness to the technology
conversation, because we cannot

1381
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:11,520
lose track of that as we are
losing track of it.

1382
01:05:11,560 --> 01:05:13,520
Things are really falling apart
in certain ways.

1383
01:05:13,560 --> 01:05:15,800
And, you know, I don't think
we're too far gone.

1384
01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:19,040
I think there is, it is not a
coincidence that there is

1385
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:21,920
growing interest in mental
health and awareness and

1386
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:24,400
mindfulness and these types of
ranches because everyone out

1387
01:05:24,400 --> 01:05:26,280
there is feeling it every day
and they're like, I need

1388
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:29,360
something to keep my feet on the
ground, the way you put it.

1389
01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:33,880
So yeah, that's my rant.
So that you said how, you know,

1390
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:38,120
even just our approach to
looking at AI and and the

1391
01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:41,000
judgment that we immediately
might have right of something

1392
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:43,520
unknown.
Because I do know people in the

1393
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:46,560
extreme camps that are like,
hell no, never, not today, not

1394
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:48,720
ever with AI.
And then the people that are

1395
01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:51,120
like, I'm totally into it and I
don't even know anything about

1396
01:05:51,120 --> 01:05:53,600
anything else at this point.
I'm just an AI bought at bought

1397
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:57,120
myself.
I'm a vessel for the AM.

1398
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:02,440
Yeah, So there's something to be
said about like, if you truly

1399
01:06:02,440 --> 01:06:06,000
want to, for anybody who's not
really into the, you know, the

1400
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:09,360
tech world but is just in it
right now, I'm feeling like, oh,

1401
01:06:09,360 --> 01:06:10,720
I don't know where I stand with
this.

1402
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:13,600
I think that first step of just
taking a step back for a moment

1403
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:16,840
and saying like, you know,
seeing it for what it is and not

1404
01:06:16,840 --> 01:06:18,840
shaming or blaming.
That's a big one.

1405
01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:21,480
Not inducing, not putting guilt
on ourselves for using it or

1406
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:24,760
being interested in in it and
bringing that sort of piece

1407
01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:28,480
into, you know, your use of, you
know, AI or technology in

1408
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:30,760
whatever way that looks
bringing, you know, there's a

1409
01:06:30,760 --> 01:06:36,080
way to sort of bring a more
mindful, intentional approach to

1410
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:38,440
it.
And also, yeah, I think the

1411
01:06:38,440 --> 01:06:42,400
minute we say I hate or I don't
like this or we put a judgement

1412
01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:45,200
on it, I think that's where you
talk about mindfulness, right?

1413
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:47,480
That's that's kind of the
opposite of that.

1414
01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:49,960
And that's not unfortunately
that's going to make it harder

1415
01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:51,840
for you.
The minute you can just keep

1416
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:56,880
more of a a neutral open stance,
I think is going to be help you

1417
01:06:56,880 --> 01:07:02,120
in just in navigating this
because it is going to continue

1418
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:06,880
to increase and continue to, you
know, be a part of our everyday

1419
01:07:06,960 --> 01:07:09,840
reality whether we like it or
not.

1420
01:07:09,840 --> 01:07:12,160
I was just going to say, I think
we've talked about so many

1421
01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:14,680
amazing topics probably on this
show.

1422
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:17,680
I mean, all my guests are great,
but I think we've just touched

1423
01:07:17,680 --> 01:07:19,920
on a lot of things that, you
know, we've opened a lot of

1424
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:23,440
doors that have just kind of
turned over a lot of stones that

1425
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:26,680
haven't been really looked at,
which I think is, you know, part

1426
01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:30,120
of the exciting thing about
hosting this podcast is just

1427
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:33,320
the, as I talked about in the
tagline, it's just the power of

1428
01:07:33,320 --> 01:07:36,560
conversation to catalyze change.
I think for all of us, I came

1429
01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:39,720
away with a lot of really pretty
powerful aha moments.

1430
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:42,480
You guys have shared some really
interesting insights.

1431
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:45,240
So I want to, you know, thank
you guys both for for joining

1432
01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:48,200
and I want to turn it back to
you guys in no particular order.

1433
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:50,480
Well, I started with Jay, so I'm
going to turn it over to Josh.

1434
01:07:50,480 --> 01:07:54,240
But Josh, is there anything
either talked about on the show

1435
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:57,480
earlier that you want to circle
back on or maybe clarify or

1436
01:07:57,480 --> 01:07:59,680
maybe expand on?
Is there anything you talked

1437
01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:02,160
about earlier that maybe you
want to circle back and maybe

1438
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:05,080
just to use Jay's metaphor,
double click on, maybe go a

1439
01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:08,240
little bit further in depth?
Yeah, I think the main thing is

1440
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:11,280
just probably we didn't touch
really too much about like AI

1441
01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:13,360
empathy versus like human
empathy.

1442
01:08:13,360 --> 01:08:16,840
There is, you know, this
mumbling or murmurs around that

1443
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:20,120
that's going to come too.
And I'm sure to that more.

1444
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:24,240
But you know, I think right now
it's important for us to

1445
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:27,479
recognize that like just
continuing to realize that human

1446
01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:30,760
empathy is coming from more of
that attunement, right?

1447
01:08:30,760 --> 01:08:33,120
That lived experience.
Someone can sit right in front

1448
01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:37,720
of you and and relate and give
reciprocal understanding and

1449
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:39,760
emotion.
There's a real feeling on the

1450
01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:45,080
other and whereas an AI person
or a person just this body is

1451
01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:48,479
not agent.
Thank you just already giving it

1452
01:08:48,479 --> 01:08:51,840
a character.
This AI agent has no it's

1453
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:54,399
experience is going to be from
the algorithm like, oh, let me

1454
01:08:54,399 --> 01:08:58,520
go back and see what somebody in
Georgia said and that's just not

1455
01:08:58,520 --> 01:09:00,439
it.
That's that's and for us to

1456
01:09:00,439 --> 01:09:03,640
remember that parents for to
remember that to help to help

1457
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:06,960
with, you know, working with
their kids or seems to remember

1458
01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:09,840
that when they're turning to
developing relationships.

1459
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:13,560
I know Jay had mentioned quickly
about chatbot relationships,

1460
01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:15,000
right?
We didn't even go there with

1461
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:18,520
that this conversation, but
that's a whole thing, right?

1462
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:22,399
There's this idea of in a human
relationship, you have that

1463
01:09:22,399 --> 01:09:26,960
mutual sort of nervous systems
connecting even there's more of

1464
01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:30,760
a chance for a live connection,
right versus just on the

1465
01:09:30,920 --> 01:09:33,720
computer, even though some
people rather keep their

1466
01:09:33,960 --> 01:09:36,479
relationship online.
That's a whole nother.

1467
01:09:36,680 --> 01:09:39,359
I don't judge.
That's another way of being, but

1468
01:09:39,439 --> 01:09:41,920
you're not going to, I feel like
if it's another person on the

1469
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:44,920
habit of line that's that's more
interesting to me rather than an

1470
01:09:45,040 --> 01:09:47,120
AI agent.
But you're not you're, you know,

1471
01:09:47,160 --> 01:09:48,920
you're going to be getting more
valid.

1472
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:51,120
Like we talked about the whole
validation and reassurance

1473
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:53,160
versus someone who's going to
challenge you.

1474
01:09:53,399 --> 01:09:55,640
Right the way.
Constructive.

1475
01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:59,400
Someone who sees you, knows your
intent, knows where you're

1476
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:03,520
coming from a little bit more
than and and is willing to get

1477
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:06,000
in the trenches with you in
difficult conversations or when

1478
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:08,120
the chips are down.
I mean, obviously those are more

1479
01:10:08,120 --> 01:10:11,280
serious relationships, but I'm
just giving a taste of the

1480
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:14,600
difference right between that
and something that you're

1481
01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:19,160
looking for, that we're looking
for in an AI who may just be

1482
01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:23,160
able to give you great banter
maybe and maybe and again give

1483
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:26,800
you that validation, but may not
are not necessarily looking out

1484
01:10:26,800 --> 01:10:29,360
for your highest and.
Jay.

1485
01:10:29,520 --> 01:10:30,520
Yeah.
Jay, what about you?

1486
01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:32,480
Anything.
Anything you want to dive back

1487
01:10:32,480 --> 01:10:33,600
into?
Yeah.

1488
01:10:33,640 --> 01:10:35,440
Promise.
Promiscuity is cool, but yeah,

1489
01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:39,280
this is a.
Strong advocate for everyone to

1490
01:10:39,280 --> 01:10:42,040
be more.
Yeah, that's right.

1491
01:10:42,040 --> 01:10:45,080
That's what this song has.
PSA for promiscuity right here.

1492
01:10:45,080 --> 01:10:47,120
That's right.
And for your life and be

1493
01:10:47,320 --> 01:10:48,880
promiscuous.
That's finale's.

1494
01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:52,760
Promiscuity.
Promiscuity reimagined.

1495
01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:54,840
Yeah.
Two pointing.

1496
01:10:54,880 --> 01:10:59,200
OK, I will pick that up real
quick, which is, you know, I

1497
01:10:59,200 --> 01:11:02,760
think it, it's true that we
talked about AI being

1498
01:11:02,760 --> 01:11:05,680
sycophantic and it not being a
real person, but it's also true

1499
01:11:05,680 --> 01:11:07,360
that it can be incredibly deep
and useful.

1500
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:11,960
Like you can talk to it about
personal issues and get real

1501
01:11:11,960 --> 01:11:13,960
insights.
You can talk to it about your

1502
01:11:13,960 --> 01:11:17,000
meditation practice.
And so both can be true.

1503
01:11:17,120 --> 01:11:20,160
And that's why the level of
discernment is so important.

1504
01:11:20,160 --> 01:11:23,400
But the thing that I really want
to kind of leave here with is

1505
01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:25,520
for, I think for a lot of
people, I certainly see this

1506
01:11:25,520 --> 01:11:28,120
with the people I work with.
I think for a lot of people this

1507
01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:29,920
is all just extremely
overwhelming.

1508
01:11:30,200 --> 01:11:34,400
There's just too much happening.
These giant corporations are

1509
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:36,960
talking about hundreds of
billions of dollars there.

1510
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:39,840
It's just all out there
somewhere.

1511
01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:42,960
And I am just a victim.
And I think the thing I kind of

1512
01:11:42,960 --> 01:11:47,520
want to leave is that we are not
powerless victims, that in fact,

1513
01:11:47,760 --> 01:11:50,960
all of the interactions we're
having with this technology are

1514
01:11:50,960 --> 01:11:54,040
in the intimate spaces of our
lives, in our pockets, on our

1515
01:11:54,040 --> 01:11:57,000
desks, in our bedrooms.
Our children are playing with

1516
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:58,960
these technologies in our
houses, right?

1517
01:11:58,960 --> 01:12:03,200
Like we are not powerless to
bring more intention and

1518
01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:05,040
awareness to the choices we
make.

1519
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:08,040
You don't have to understand
everything to bring clarity to

1520
01:12:08,040 --> 01:12:11,280
say which technologies are
serving me and which ones are

1521
01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:14,520
serving me illusions.
Which technologies are helping

1522
01:12:14,520 --> 01:12:16,920
me find more of that soul
connection, even though I'm

1523
01:12:16,920 --> 01:12:20,000
talking to a but it's helping me
build the confidence to go out

1524
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,680
in the world and talk to real
people.

1525
01:12:21,800 --> 01:12:24,440
It's fine, there's no problem.
But like which ones are serving

1526
01:12:24,440 --> 01:12:27,520
my deepest intentions and which
ones are creating more distance

1527
01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:29,360
between me and the person I want
to be?

1528
01:12:29,360 --> 01:12:32,560
Which one Which ones are like
bringing joy and connection like

1529
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:35,200
like I gave you that example of
little magic stories like a

1530
01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:37,880
mother and child having
connection and joy together with

1531
01:12:37,920 --> 01:12:39,840
AI.
Which ones are like the kid is

1532
01:12:39,840 --> 01:12:42,000
locked in his room in a rabbit
hole with a right.

1533
01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:46,200
So for one family, AI could be a
positive source of joy.

1534
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:48,680
For another family, it could be
a problem that we need to

1535
01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:50,520
eradicate.
And the only way we can tell the

1536
01:12:50,520 --> 01:12:53,480
difference is with awareness,
self-awareness and awareness of

1537
01:12:53,520 --> 01:12:56,600
what's going on in our lives.
And so I think the thing that I

1538
01:12:56,600 --> 01:12:59,880
would leave people with if
they've listened this far would

1539
01:12:59,880 --> 01:13:04,280
be discernment and awareness.
No judgement and shame required,

1540
01:13:04,280 --> 01:13:07,200
no guilt required.
You are not powerless.

1541
01:13:07,200 --> 01:13:08,880
All of that can be happening out
there.

1542
01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:11,680
But if mindfulness has taught me
one thing in all these years,

1543
01:13:11,680 --> 01:13:14,880
it's that you always have a
choice in how you relate to what

1544
01:13:14,880 --> 01:13:16,080
you're experiencing.
Yeah.

1545
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:18,160
Well, very well said, both of
you.

1546
01:13:18,320 --> 01:13:21,800
I again, extremely grateful to
both of you.

1547
01:13:21,800 --> 01:13:26,480
Josh, obviously a long standing
friend and, you know, rock star

1548
01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:28,000
in the South Asian mental health
space.

1549
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:31,320
Thank you for facilitating this.
And Jay, it's, it's such a

1550
01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:33,400
privilege, as I said to you
before, it's such a privilege to

1551
01:13:33,400 --> 01:13:36,160
be connected.
I, I really value both of your

1552
01:13:36,160 --> 01:13:38,560
perspectives.
I think the audience is going to

1553
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:41,040
go go away with a lot of I think
they're going to be not to be

1554
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:42,600
too schmaltzy, but I think
they're going to be better

1555
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:44,120
people for having listened to
this.

1556
01:13:44,120 --> 01:13:46,760
Think they're going to have a
little bit more clarity and I

1557
01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:49,480
think a little bit more of a new
who wants perspective on what

1558
01:13:49,480 --> 01:13:52,320
can as, to use the word you
mentioned before, be a very

1559
01:13:52,320 --> 01:13:55,480
polarizing topic.
So I want to thank you both for

1560
01:13:55,480 --> 01:13:58,280
volunteering your time and to
the audience.

1561
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:02,040
I just want to say thanks for
hanging in there with us on this

1562
01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:05,040
very weighty discussion.
And until the next time we meet,

1563
01:14:05,040 --> 01:14:10,280
stay untethered.
Thanks so much for listening and

1564
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:13,320
I hope you enjoyed that episode.
For more of these types of

1565
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:16,800
conversations, please visit us
at Untether Your Life dot CEO.

1566
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:19,800
You can also find us on
Instagram and Untether Your

1567
01:14:19,800 --> 01:14:23,440
Life, as well as on Apple,
Spotify, and other platforms by

1568
01:14:23,440 --> 01:14:25,080
searching for Untether Your
Life.

1569
01:14:25,760 --> 01:14:28,120
And if you did enjoy this
episode, please leave us a

1570
01:14:28,120 --> 01:14:30,800
review or share it with someone
who might also benefit.

1571
01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:33,600
Thanks.
And until the next time we meet,

1572
01:14:33,880 --> 01:14:35,000
stay untethered.