45: Inspire with Shani: Guest IG Live Appearance: Breathwork, Mental Health in the South Asian Diaspora, and the Double-Edged Sword of Social Media

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How exactly will focusing on my
breath?

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Help me manage my mental health.
What is the view in South Asian

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culture on?
Mental Health?

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Can you get addicted to quote
unquote?

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Good things like productivity.
What impact can careers like

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management consulting have on
mental health, and what's the

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deal with the new name of this
podcast?

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Stay tuned as we touch on this
and many other topics on this

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week's episode of untether your
life.

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Welcome to untether your life, a
show that empowers you to own

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your own health and break free
of templates for managing

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physical and mental wellness.
And looks at Key issues.

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Impacting the South Asian
diaspora each week.

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We speak with experts and
meditation and mindfulness folks

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who have struggled with mental
illness, clinicians with

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insights on the South Asian
experience, and many other

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incredible guests.
I am your host nikhil tours a

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car and I'm passionate about the
power of conversation.

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In to catalyze change this
week's episode features, my

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guest appearance on an Instagram
live hosted by shoddy, a breath

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work, and cold water, exposure
therapy, coach base near Lisbon

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Portugal.
And with that, let's get

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untethered.
Thanks for having me on Shawnee.

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Always sincere pleasure to
connect with people who are on

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the same mission of optimizing
mind, body, and soul health.

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So, really glad to be here.
So, yeah, my name is nikhil

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torsa car.
I'm based in Chicago, Oh, and as

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you just alluded to, I have a
podcast that we just recently

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rebranded to be called untether
your life, but really, that is

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about questioning the norms and
what I would call the templates

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of what it means to be
successful, you know, it's South

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Asians as both you and I are.
And also specifically as it

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relates to owning your health,
just going Beyond like surgery

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medication, and trying things
that you are very familiar with.

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Like meditation mindfulness
breath work to try to optimize

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Performance.
Yeah, that's actually one of the

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things I wanted to talk to you
about was because when we

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connected you shared your story
about your past and how you went

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from the rule of medication to
where you are now.

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So yeah, that's kind of a
powerful story.

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You want to share a little bit
as well?

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Yeah, absolutely.
As with you I mean I'm part of

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the South Asian diaspora.
My parents came here from India,

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in the mid-70s to the u.s.
In Search of a better life.

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And like most South Asians I
think It's worked out pretty

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well in terms of demographics.
We've done pretty well

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economically.
I would say that we pray to the

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model, minority myth about
achieving it at all costs.

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And mental health is sort of an
afterthought and sort of seen as

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a weakness and sort of push
under the covers.

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And so that fected my journey
for quite some time.

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Specifically, you know, when we
talk about professions, I think

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you can relate to this as well.
I had been in Consulting world

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for a while with King at PWC and
working in banking and I suffer

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from what's known as bipolar
disorder and for anyone who's

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not familiar with it.
The main thing is just there's a

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lot of oscillation between highs
and lows and in Consulting,

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especially, I mean, it's true of
a lot of professions, but

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there's very tight timelines.
There's this pressure to really

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achieve at all costs.
And sometimes, the symptoms of

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bipolar disorder are almost
Received as a strength, which

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is, you know, very high-energy,
very high, creativity ability to

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work on very little sleep.
And so, because of that, I would

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say that when I would go into
these manic phases, they would

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be misinterpreted as all the
real nikhil is back.

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And then the depressive phase is
would be something like oh you

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know he just needs a pep talk.
He just needs some positive.

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Mental energy, maybe run a few
laps around the block and we

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back to his old high performing
self.

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Yeah that's interesting because
old Came from the Consulting

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World myself.
So I'm familiar with that and

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there is like a lack of
Education.

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I'd say an understanding from in
the corporate world when it

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comes to managing your mental
health and also delivering

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targets for the business.
Yeah.

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And I think that a little bit of
a misguided notion because

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there's always this distinction
between mental health, and

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physical health.
And I'm sure you would agree

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that we need to just drop all
those qualifiers and look at

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health and to end, you know,
what I think in Consulting,

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especially because of the
constant travel because of the

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tight deadlines.
And because just a culture, just

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because of the breed of
individual that that profession

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attracts that tends to get
pushed under the rug.

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And so we disregard all that
anxiety and sort of that hole,

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man.
Ought so to speak.

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That stoic mentality.
Yeah.

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Manifests itself in physical
symptoms later, you know, that

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and oftentimes it's too late to
reverse.

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Yeah.
Yeah.

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And in my experience a lot of
people back then like the way

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that Copa handle with it would
be alcohol or drugs or something

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along those lines where it's not
the healthiest choice and

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essentially actually makes it
worse like it makes your

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situation worse.
Maybe fix it in the short term

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but yeah in terms of your health
it starts to decrease as soon as

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you go down that route.
Yeah.

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And what's interesting Shanty is
that, you know, there's this

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whole spectrum of addictions,
you know?

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There's the ones that are bad
like smoking and drinking

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gambling, but positive things
can also be a bit of an

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addiction as well.
And I'd love to hear your

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experience with this because
obviously, you know, about this

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molecule dopamine and I've heard
it described on some podcasts,

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as it's the molecule of more.
I talked a lot about how social

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media is a part of that.
When you're on Instagram, like

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right now we're at the people
joining were like, oh, wow, you

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know, it's that like oh you know
I've made it so social media is

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part of that but Interesting is
there can be an addiction to

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productivity.
There can be an addiction to

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making it up the corporate
ladder, you know, being the

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youngest managing director in
your start class right there is

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that you know, you achieved your
targets quarter-over-quarter and

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what happens when that ends?
What happens when you fall prey

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to a debilitating disorder?
Then what it's kind of like the

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rug has swept up from under you,
right?

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I mean, same thing with
exercise, you can have these

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addictions that seemed to be
positive things, but too much of

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anything is bad.
You know, everything in

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moderation.
Yeah, I think from my

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experience, we are addicted to
our habits.

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So, what if we do on a daily
basis becomes a habit for us and

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that becomes an addiction over
time and it's difficult as it is

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to change our habits.
It's actually the thing that

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keeps us on the trajectory that
we were on.

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So like, if we go to a
consulting firm or if we working

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for ourselves or we starting our
own business, The projection.

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And the way you're going to end
up in that space actually

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depends on your daily habits and
those daily habits are depending

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on what you're able to do here
on a moment.

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To moment basis, we have a
comment here from dr.

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Mara Khalid says, dr.
Khalid, we don't talk enough

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about the imbalance with the
toxic culture of productivity.

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It's a good point.
You raised about the toxic like

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productivity and overly Elated
dopamine's.

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When I used to work at these
consulting, firms, I somehow

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knew to deactivate all of my
notifications on my laptop and

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on my phone, my phone is not
notifications on for years, like

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for a long time and it's one of
the most freeing things because

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when you hang out with people
who are like, constantly

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glutathione is an addiction, and
what they're addicted to is that

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little spark of dopamine that
tells them.

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Oh, you matter in this.
Try and someone wants to get

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hold of you, right, right.
And I am so glad we're able to

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have this conversation.
Now, it's such a timely one

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because I can share some of the
context behind the title of our

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podcast, which is untether your
life, which is basically, we are

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Tethered to these sources of
validation, whether it's our

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phone, whether it's our job,
whether it's drugs, alcohol,

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sex, and that Community to.
So that's what I'm really

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impressing upon people is just
break free from a A lot of these

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things you've accepted as fait,
accompli or as gospel or

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whatever metaphor you want to
use, because it's all an

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illusion, right?
And you really need to do things

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like the things.
You're so well, familiar with,

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like meditation mindfulness,
focusing on the breath, just to

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really get in touch with who you
are with your essence and not be

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so wedded to these external
things that are so fleeting and

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can come and go on a moment's
notice.

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Wow.
Yeah, I love the name as well,

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untethered because it really
describes Situation in that, we

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do feel like there is this
invisible cord, that's kind of

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tying us to something that gives
you ever try to like leave your

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phone at home for like a day or
so, you do feel like a part of

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you is missing.
It's not a physical like part of

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your body, but you do feel like
part of your body is missing if

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you have your.
So it is crazy.

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How it's become like this
appendage.

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And I think about those pictures
of the evolution of man, or they

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talk about the primates.
And then you talk about sort of

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Standing erect and I think the
next phase of that they're going

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to have somebody with an iPhone
in there.

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And there's a posture is worse
again.

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Because they're looking at their
notifications.

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I always try to impress that
it's not that social media is in

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itself.
A Bad Thing, social media is

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just a tool and it goes back to
what I was saying, earlier,

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anything in excess can be
detrimental, you know, and it's

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a very hard thing to do.
But I always try to think about

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all the benefits that it's
bringing me because you and I

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are connecting.
I I don't know how we would have

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connected had it not been for
Instagram.

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I think either I had liked one
of your post or vice versa but

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30 years ago that wouldn't have
happened obviously.

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Yeah.
The one other thing I did want

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to talk about shiny was that
it's interesting because I find

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as much as I hated travel and I
still do what was interesting.

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Was a lot of the times when I
find my most productive States

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would be, when I was wheels up,
when I was traveling by plane,

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couple reasons for that one is
in this, could be a whole

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Separate discussion was the
concept of at higher state.

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You know, is there's that
hypoxic feeling of less oxygen

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coin of the Braves as our friend
neeraj and I ever talks about.

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So that's another topic.
But what's interesting is I

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would just force myself to stay
one tether to use a it again,

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just untethered from that
connection and I look at the

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writing that I've done.
I look at some of the analysis,

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I've done the introspection and
it's probably been Most

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profound, you know, that
something that you can't match

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when you're on the ground.
You know, I had the same

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experience actually because I
used to travel a lot for my work

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with in Consulting, and I think
the other key thing was that

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when you're sitting in an
aircraft, that's hundreds of

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thousands of miles above the
ground, and you look down

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everything, he puts things into
perspective, for you is like

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when you're down there and you
feel like your problems are so

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big and you can barely even see
it.

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At Bridges like everything else.
Just learn a dot, it puts into

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perspective, just like how we
are just like one piece of an

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infinite system and our problems
are just like another part of

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that.
And it's like it's so small that

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it's kind of its small and big
at the same time, it's weird,

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right?
Gives you some perspective for

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sure.
Yeah, exactly.

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And interested to know a little
bit about your journey through

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discovering and empowering
yourself through this mental

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health Journey, because And you
must have been going through

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your situation.
It may have not been as like out

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there in the media for guys to
be looking at themselves of

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working on themselves and
accepting responsibility in this

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space especially as you
mentioned like as a South Asian

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person.
So it's not really discussed in

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our communities even though a
lot of the way to resolve these

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issues through meditation
through yoga.

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It actually comes from the He
literally wrote the book on it.

226
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Exactly.
Yeah.

227
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Basically and then we like,
forget about it for me, it was

228
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like the culture in that, like a
South Asian culture outside of

229
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Asia, it's more about, you know,
getting good grades and doing

230
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well in school and achieving and
being the best in your area, or

231
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,900
being the best at like, you
know, school or something.

232
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:55,100
Yeah, it's because like the norm
within their, there's no real

233
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:59,100
Gap and all space to focus on
your mental, health was focus

234
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:01,200
on.
Tation and calming down.

235
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:05,900
So I'm interested in how you
sort of made that shift from the

236
00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:08,800
Consulting world into what it is
you're doing now.

237
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:12,100
Yeah, I mean as much of a cliche
as it is I mean I really had to

238
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hit rock bottom shiny to really
see the light anyone who has

239
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bipolar disorder or who knows,
someone who has it.

240
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:22,800
It is the biggest letdown of the
century because when you're in

241
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,700
that manic State, you know, he
talked about different levels of

242
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consciousness, Alpha Theta gamma
but Mania is like Literally all

243
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:34,300
of those Greek symbols combined
into one because it's literally

244
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:37,200
like you're coming up with these
conclusions and these

245
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,400
realizations.
And, you know, a lot of the

246
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,500
greatest artists of their time
did suffer from bipolar

247
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,400
disorder.
Obviously, you know, the DSM

248
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:48,000
didn't exist in Van Gogh's time
per se but it is definitely

249
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associated with higher states of
creativity.

250
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:55,100
And this elevated feeling sir,
come down from that it's very

251
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crippling and you really start
to become cynical, you start to

252
00:13:57,908 --> 00:14:02,100
become jaded, but What happened
with me was, I would have these

253
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:05,500
elevated states starting in
college was my first manic

254
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:08,500
episode.
This was about gosh, 27 years

255
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:12,700
ago, he would come and go
through business school through

256
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:15,600
Consulting.
And as I said, in our book, that

257
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,800
Shelly, my wife.
And I wrote, I allude to Mania

258
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,700
as this Elixir, you know?
It's this feeling that you can

259
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,900
achieve anything.
And it actually did help me get

260
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:29,000
through business school as
destructive as it was at least

261
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,100
on paper.
People were like wow you were

262
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:34,700
going to business school at the
University of Chicago working in

263
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:38,500
a investment research, firm
managing a team overseas,

264
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:40,800
raising two kids.
I mean it's like I'm getting

265
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,000
tired just thinking about it,
but then to come down from, that

266
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:48,000
is always extremely devastating
but the final episode took about

267
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:53,300
15 months, 15, 18 months and it
was a case where what I

268
00:14:53,308 --> 00:14:56,600
experienced was and this is true
for a lot of people with bipolar

269
00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:01,000
is this false notion that
Everybody else's fault.

270
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:05,500
And if I just quit this job or
if I divorce my wife, my

271
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,000
wonderful wife who's literally
the reason why you and I are

272
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,500
like why I'm sitting here
talking to you if I get rid of

273
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:14,300
my wife, if I you know, walk
away from everything, everything

274
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:17,900
will be solved.
And then I got to a point where

275
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,400
it's like the analogy.
I always use is like driving a

276
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,600
car.
When you're running on empty,

277
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:25,600
everybody else can see.
The lights are flashing while

278
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,500
you're performing erratically,
you're missing your deadline

279
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,700
just not Taking care of your
health everyone except for

280
00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:34,000
myself because I had this
Looking Glass View.

281
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:38,400
And then finally, I crashed, you
can probably understand this.

282
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:42,000
I mean, I was thinking of taking
my own life and I was very

283
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,900
resistant to seeking treatment
because what happens with a lot

284
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:49,800
of people with bipolar disorder
is day, can't see what everyone

285
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,500
else can see.
They can't see that there is a

286
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:55,700
big problem, you know as the
expression I say is it's hiding

287
00:15:55,700 --> 00:16:00,500
in plain sight but finally when
I looked around Woke up and

288
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,700
smelled the cappuccino.
As I say, my wife Sally, I

289
00:16:03,708 --> 00:16:06,800
turned to her and I said, look,
I'm in your hands, the illusion,

290
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,600
I use is in corporate exercise,
you know, there's that trust

291
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:14,000
exercise where we fall back in
the person behind you is to

292
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,900
catch you.
I sort of went into that mode

293
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:20,100
where I'm like, okay, clearly
what I'm doing is not working so

294
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:24,200
Shelly, because she had seen the
ups and downs.

295
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,900
She was the one who said, look,
I'm not a professional, but let

296
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:32,200
me talk to a Past me talk to a
psychiatrist, give them the data

297
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:37,600
and they can make the assessment
because what had happened before

298
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,900
was that I was constantly
getting diagnosed with

299
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:43,600
depression because the only time
I would ever seek help was when

300
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:47,100
I was at Rock Bottom, you know
who's low-energy not before

301
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,800
they're unable to get out of bed
not taking care of myself.

302
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,900
Yeah.
And so because psychiatrist only

303
00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:55,700
see a very limited
cross-section.

304
00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:56,900
They only see what's being
presented.

305
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:59,600
That point they don't have the
full spectrum they're going.

306
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,200
Just diagnosed it as a
depression.

307
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,000
But this time, this was the
first time that I actually got

308
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:08,099
the patient history and got the
correct diagnosis of bipolar

309
00:17:08,099 --> 00:17:10,000
disorder with depression,
bipolar 1.

310
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:13,000
It's been a long journey, you
know, this was about seven years

311
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,400
ago.
So they did put me on a mood

312
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,700
stabilizer.
I actually had to go through ECT

313
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:21,900
which is electroconvulsive
therapy, it's pretty extensive,

314
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,400
you know, it's nothing like what
you see in the movies, but it's

315
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:30,100
pretty draining and I had to go
to inpatient therapy but Really,

316
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:32,200
I would say, Shawnee what saved
the day.

317
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,600
I always look at this.
As there's really three, let's

318
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,200
say four components to my
recovery.

319
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,900
Number one is obviously the
medication that helped me get

320
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:42,100
stable.
Number two is the cognitive

321
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,500
therapy with the right
therapist, right?

322
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:48,200
The third thing is relationships
and community so it's not just

323
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,800
your family but it's also being
surrounded by like-minded

324
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,700
individuals.
Yeah.

325
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:56,300
You know, helping you Trend in
the right direction, finally his

326
00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:59,600
purpose.
And I would say that with this

327
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:04,700
I'm so just beyond thrilled that
it was launched a year ago and

328
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:08,800
the direction that it's gone in,
since then has really given me a

329
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:12,400
sense of purpose and I think I'm
never going to say I'm 100%,

330
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,300
shipshape.
I don't think any of us are, but

331
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:19,000
those four pieces of the stool,
or the table have really put me

332
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,700
in a good place.
And in the right direction.

333
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:25,300
Well, thanks for sharing.
It was an incredible journey and

334
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:29,000
it's amazing what you're doing.
And so you say, went from the

335
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:34,300
room, Of medication to looking
for more holistic ways of

336
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:37,700
treating yourself.
And what are some of the ways

337
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,200
that you've worked on yourself
holistically now.

338
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:43,300
Yeah.
And you know it's funny I always

339
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:46,500
like I tend to be a little bit
cynical so I sometimes Center

340
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,900
myself and when I talk about
meditation and mindfulness I'm

341
00:18:48,908 --> 00:18:51,900
like oh my God another South
Asian talking about meditation

342
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:55,300
of mindfulness but I have to say
it is really been.

343
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:58,900
So valuable for me shiny because
it's like simple things like

344
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:03,300
breathwork have It's been such a
game changer for me, because in

345
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:08,000
this hyperstimulated world, we
tend to get so fixated on the

346
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,500
latest deadline or the latest
deliverable or the latest

347
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:15,000
notification and when I get in
that state, there's a whole host

348
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,500
of different breathing
techniques.

349
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:21,100
I would say, the easiest one is
definitely box breathing just

350
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:24,400
you know inhaling for for
counting to holding for for

351
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,300
exhaling.
You know prawn, I am is huge

352
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,900
obviously.
And just yeah, just Really

353
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:34,600
focusing on breathing because I
will say that we talk about yoga

354
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:38,000
more in the classical sense.
Not necessarily like doing all

355
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,000
these contortions, bending your
body into a pretzel work.

356
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:45,100
That actually causes me more
anxiety than alleviate.

357
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:50,100
But yeah, I would say the, the
guided visualizations, obviously

358
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:53,400
you're familiar with Soma brat.
That's been a very important

359
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:58,300
tool in my toolkit and just
finding other people who have

360
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:02,700
that same Our division because
yes, I think you can do this on

361
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:06,500
your own, but if you can find
that tribe of people who you can

362
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:10,700
share your learnings with or you
can share frustrations with, you

363
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:13,800
know, ups and downs.
It's going to make that shared

364
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,500
experience a lot more rich and
more valuable.

365
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:20,600
Yeah, most definitely.
I'm familiar with solar breath

366
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:25,100
and also with the kind in
visualization meditations and

367
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,000
that's been one of the things
that's helped me the most

368
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,300
actually just ground myself.
Self every day actually.

369
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:36,500
And I don't feel if I go through
my morning now, without doing my

370
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:40,300
grounding meditation, I noticed
the rest of my day is just

371
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:45,000
always scattered and I find it
difficult to relate to people.

372
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,200
Now, who say they don't have
time to meditate, not yet.

373
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,200
Five minutes.
Yeah, that's a bit shocking to

374
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,500
me.
But yeah, I really enjoyed your

375
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:56,500
discussion with Neil bakshi
because you're talking about

376
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:59,200
incorporation of meditation in
corporate environments.

377
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:02,900
I have to admit as I, you know,
the cynic in me sort of seeing

378
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:07,900
this, as maybe a PR tool, but I
will say that I love to see the

379
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:12,000
fact that a lot of these type a
alpha male dominated,

380
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:16,400
environments are seeing that,
this is not just woowoo stuff.

381
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:22,000
That is simple 5 minutes of just
focusing on oxygenating your

382
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:26,100
body and really just stepping
away from the here and now that

383
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:30,000
I can help you out and they can
help your earnings and you don't

384
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:34,300
bottom line, right?
You'll see that proof is in the

385
00:21:34,300 --> 00:21:35,800
pudding.
There's a great book.

386
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:39,300
I was reading called altered
traits, but it talks about the

387
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,400
scientific benefits of
meditation.

388
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:46,000
They've actually looked on ECGs
of people who have gone through

389
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,900
meditation and they talked about
how there are certain monks when

390
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:52,500
they meditate, you know, their
brain waves were operating at

391
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:57,300
the highest frequencies.
So it's amazing how slowing down

392
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:59,500
it's a paradox, right?
Because slow.

393
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:03,000
Down can actually enhance
performance.

394
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:05,700
It's amazing how the body and
mind work together, you know.

395
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,600
Amazing.
Can we have a comment here from

396
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,300
Durham?
No way.

397
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,400
I think grounding is very
important and I do toe-tapping

398
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,500
before I go to bed.
Every night is that EMDR.

399
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:22,300
I've heard of tapping, but I'm
not 100% familiar with.

400
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:27,400
Yeah, I do know about grounding
but yeah, and if anybody else

401
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:31,600
has any other questions for
Nikhyl or for myself please feel

402
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,800
free to drop them in the chat
while we're waiting.

403
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,900
I mean Shawnee I did want to say
that it's very gratifying for me

404
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:42,800
to see that we as South Asians
are sort of taking this back.

405
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,600
I don't mean this in a
confrontational way but as you

406
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,800
alluded to earlier I think for
so many generations especially

407
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,000
as immigrants in other cultures
where we're trying to fit in

408
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,700
where we're trying to make it up
the food chain, like a lot of

409
00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:58,700
our compatriots have done, you
know, a lot of our fellow South

410
00:22:58,700 --> 00:23:02,200
Asians are at the Top of the
food chain in politics,

411
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,600
obviously with the new prime
minister of the UK, obviously,

412
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:10,000
with Microsoft Google Starbucks.
So many of our compatriots have

413
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:14,700
done well, but I think it's
great to see that we are finally

414
00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:19,000
sort of dusting off that
playbook for mental health

415
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,100
again, you know, and we're
really going back to the roots.

416
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,700
I feel very blessed that we have
this opportunity and we don't

417
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:28,300
have to pardon the pun but
whitewash some of our

418
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,000
Traditions, you know, Yeah, I
appreciate it.

419
00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:36,900
So my experience I kind of went
down the route of trying

420
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:41,200
everything in the western world
and like feeling like achieving

421
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,000
success is going to bring
happiness and looking for

422
00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:47,400
external validation from things.
And once you realize that

423
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:51,100
doesn't bring you any inner
fulfillment or in a piece or in

424
00:23:51,100 --> 00:23:55,200
a size faction, it brings you
back to yourself which then put

425
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,300
you on this path.
Yeah.

426
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,300
And it show externally focused.
Because and I think you had

427
00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:04,500
mentioned that you had amassed
all these material possessions

428
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:07,900
and then I think you said that
was the most gratifying was

429
00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:10,600
actually giving all those
positions away is that right?

430
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,600
Yeah yeah.
Is that my old apartment?

431
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:17,500
Like I'd spent a year just
buying things and clothes and

432
00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:19,800
whatever and like furniture at
all.

433
00:24:19,808 --> 00:24:20,500
Right.
Yeah.

434
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,500
And then I had to move and
literally didn't have enough

435
00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:28,000
time to sell it, so I just gave
it all away and that felt so

436
00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:31,600
freeing and gratifying.
And that's the thing is just

437
00:24:32,100 --> 00:24:35,200
when you're so externally
focused, you're setting yourself

438
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:39,100
up for failure, because we are
just seeing so many natural

439
00:24:39,100 --> 00:24:41,500
disasters.
We are seeing so many things

440
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,400
where that can be yanked from
you in a blink of an eye.

441
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,000
I mean, obviously covid is the
obvious one people who were

442
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,000
wedded to their careers people
whose careers were all about.

443
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:56,100
You know, they were Tethered to
that mode of functioning getting

444
00:24:56,100 --> 00:24:59,500
on that plane at 6 a.m. every
Monday morning, flying out.

445
00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:02,400
You know, there are people who
thrive on that, you know,

446
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:06,900
there's Monday through Friday
Weekend Warriors, they, you

447
00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:12,900
know, whiteboarding workshops
taking clients out exciting to

448
00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:16,300
start for me, like, it was a
whole new adventure, but then it

449
00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:17,900
got right.
Yeah.

450
00:25:17,900 --> 00:25:20,300
Kind of bit tiring at the end.
Yeah.

451
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,200
And that's what I'm saying, is,
just that for some people, that

452
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,000
is how they work.
That is done under Fuel.

453
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,100
And that's what they thrive on.
And then when we travel is, shut

454
00:25:29,100 --> 00:25:31,000
down.
On when companies are laying

455
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,900
people off then what you know
there are a lot of people who

456
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,100
working from home was almost
like a death sentence, you know.

457
00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:41,400
It's just like they're so used
to that morning commute.

458
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:45,400
They're so used to listening to
NPR in the car, doing that yoga,

459
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:49,400
pilates class at noon, and then
that's all taken away, and

460
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,700
they're stuck in the zoom /
story.

461
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,300
That's, that's my mental health.
Issue, skyrocketed during covid.

462
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,900
It's an elusive task.
I don't necessarily know if

463
00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:01,700
anyone was We'll get there but
to have that inner sense of

464
00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:05,800
contentment and not be so
Tethered to the external world

465
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,900
is really something.
We need to focus on.

466
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,200
Wow, that's beautifully said
that that's the key right there.

467
00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:14,600
And I wanted to share with
people listening.

468
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,000
That Shawnee is doing some
amazing work right now as well.

469
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,700
He and I connected on Instagram
and we've been chatting back and

470
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:23,500
forth.
But, you know, some of the

471
00:26:23,900 --> 00:26:27,700
community activities, like your
telegram group that it's just

472
00:26:27,700 --> 00:26:31,300
amazing to see the connections
that are forming outside of my

473
00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:34,900
ZIP code outside of my country
coaches all over the world.

474
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,500
When were United by this
purpose?

475
00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:40,200
It's just amazing to see the
collaborations on unfold for all

476
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:41,800
we know.
I mean somebody who's listening

477
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,600
to this might decide they want
to start a podcast or they might

478
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:48,700
want to start doing IG lives or
and if you don't mind I'd love

479
00:26:48,700 --> 00:26:52,300
to turn it over to you because
you recently launched something

480
00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:54,500
to there's an app.
You're talking about that you

481
00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:56,500
would launch.
Yeah.

482
00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:59,200
So this is actually something
I've been working on for a

483
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,900
while.
And I have like a big plan in

484
00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:05,800
terms of different phases for it
in the future.

485
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:11,000
But the first version it's going
to be one program for reducing

486
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,100
stress.
So the official launch date is

487
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:17,600
going to be first of January,
but I run a little pre-launch

488
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,800
for Black Friday, giving a
little bit of a sneak preview

489
00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:24,600
and that went pretty well.
My plan for it is actually in

490
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,800
the future.
I want it to become a platform

491
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:33,700
for People like myself and other
people also, who are in this

492
00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:37,300
space, kind of like what
Mindvalley have with their app,

493
00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:41,100
where it's sort of different
sorts of healing practices, but

494
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:45,400
more focused on breath work and
have that as a tool for

495
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,700
organizations, a lot of
companies have their get health

496
00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:50,400
package.
I think pretty much every

497
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,400
company as a whole package and
they offer you things in terms

498
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,700
of your physical health.
So they'll give you like health

499
00:27:55,700 --> 00:27:57,800
coverage.
But for the mental health, there

500
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,700
isn't really anything so My idea
is to create the app to allow

501
00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:04,700
them to give them some sort of
practice when sitting at the

502
00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:09,400
desk or Consultants who are
traveling through the airport

503
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,500
and they need something to calm
them down for a flight, have

504
00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:14,500
different types of meditations
or breath.

505
00:28:14,500 --> 00:28:19,900
Works for different scenarios
and that's going to be the end

506
00:28:19,900 --> 00:28:22,400
goal.
But yeah eventually first I'm

507
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:25,300
going to start by launching my
own program through it.

508
00:28:25,700 --> 00:28:27,600
Yeah sounds amazing.
Sounds amazing.

509
00:28:28,300 --> 00:28:30,400
Okay, it's a work-in-progress
January.

510
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,400
The first is the official launch
date.

511
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,800
We did a lot of pre-launch now,
and it's available for

512
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,800
pre-launch, but yeah, if you
want to get on it early.

513
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:41,100
Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah.

514
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,100
Tell me a little bit about where
people can get in touch with you

515
00:28:44,100 --> 00:28:46,500
and some of the things that
you're working on as well.

516
00:28:47,100 --> 00:28:49,400
Yeah, absolutely.
So the top of the hour, you had

517
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,700
mentioned the podcast really
excited that bright and early

518
00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:54,300
this morning.
We relaunched that.

519
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,500
So the title of podcast is
untether your life.

520
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,500
So You can find it a couple
different ways, obviously, you

521
00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:03,200
know, you go to Spotify Apple
podcast what it wherever you

522
00:29:03,208 --> 00:29:06,200
listen to podcasts and just
search for untether your life.

523
00:29:06,300 --> 00:29:10,100
We are also available at
untether, your life Co, that's

524
00:29:10,100 --> 00:29:14,300
all one word until your life.com
and obviously on Instagram, the

525
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:17,600
title of untether your life.
The other thing we're working on

526
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,200
is my wife Shelly.
And I actually wrote a book,

527
00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:22,700
we're working on a movie, about
our Journeys, with mental

528
00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:24,400
health.
And that's why I originally the

529
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:27,800
podcast, always called De Chelly
story, you can find out more

530
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,200
about That initiative, at Shelly
sued.com.

531
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:35,400
So that's got a lot of our blog
posts, a lot of our podcasts and

532
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,100
some of our appearances on other
podcasts.

533
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,900
I also run marketing for a
company called Geo star Chicago.

534
00:29:42,100 --> 00:29:47,200
So that company you can find out
about at GI o St, AR

535
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:50,800
Chicago.com.
So it's G Oster Chicago.com and

536
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,000
it's Geo star.
Chicago on all the social

537
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,700
platforms like Instagram,
Twitter and what have you?

538
00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,100
So appreciate you joining Today
and will love tompa.

539
00:30:00,100 --> 00:30:02,100
Nova chat sometime, can you get
to?

540
00:30:02,100 --> 00:30:04,300
Yeah, absolutely.
Thank you so much honey.

541
00:30:04,300 --> 00:30:07,700
I always love chatting with you
and you know definitely hope to

542
00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:09,800
keep the conversation going and
I really hope that this

543
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,900
resonates with your audience
into thanks.

544
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:02,000
Today and will love tompa.
Nova chat sometime, can you get

545
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,200
to?
Yeah, absolutely.

546
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,400
Thank you so much honey.
I always love chatting with you

547
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,000
and you know definitely hope to
keep the conversation going and

548
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,300
I really hope that this
resonates with your audience

549
00:30:11,700 --> 00:30:12,900
into thanks.