52: Shermin Kruse - TEDx Producer / Speaker, Law Professor, Global Transactions Expert, and Acclaimed Author on Tactical Empathy, Stoicism, and Much More

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What can a baby falling down and
pulling himself up?

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Repeatedly, teach us about the
benefits of perseverance.

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How is the philosophy of
stoicism informed by dr.

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Spock in Star Trek.
What topics does tedx

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Wrigleyville focus on and how
can these talks help us quote

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rethink the hypothesis.
And what is tactical, empathy?

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How does it differ from the
Kumbaya?

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Let's all hold hands version of
empathy and how can it help us?

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Become better leaders and
negotiators.

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Stay tuned.
As we discuss these and many

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other topics on this week's
episode of untether your life.

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Welcome To untether Your Life.
A show that empowers you to own

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your own health and Break Free.
Of templates for managing

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physical and mental wellness.
And looks at Key issues,

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impacting the South Asian
diaspora.

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I am your host and Kilt or Scar.
And I am passionate about the

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power of conversation to
catalyze change this week, we

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speak with Chef mean Cruz.
A Northwestern law school,

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professor and Global
transactions expert.

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Passionate about the realm of
ideas shall mean dedicates.

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Much of her time to producing
tedx talks and writing books.

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She has over 60 talks with
millions of views, for

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critically acclaimed,
best-selling.

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Novel butterfly stitching is
Loosely based on the stories of

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the women of our family before.
And after the Iranian

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Revolution, she recently
published Global transactions,

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and regulation political legal,
and cultural Frameworks, which

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was her first textbook before
becoming a law school.

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Professor shack mean, practiced
law for 17 years.

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Representing, Fortune 100
companies.

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She is the winner of multiple
awards for her Global influence

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and a mother of four.
And with that, let's get

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untethered.
So sure.

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I mean that's quite a bio.
So again it's incredible to have

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you on the show.
Thank you so much.

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I really appreciate it.
And thank you for the warm

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introduction.
Hi everyone.

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It's nice to be here and it's
great to have you listening.

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I guess I would add that, I am a
huge sci-fi and fantasy geek.

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I have a particular passion for
Star Trek.

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In fact, when I was in college,
I was paying my way through

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school by modeling but also
selling pool tables.

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And I need my pool cue Dax.
Which you would only know what

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that is, if you're a huge Star
Trek fan because it's just say,

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a docks on the Deep Space, Nine
series.

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Yes, that is, that is something
that most people don't know

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about.
I think I still have the Q

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actually somewhere.
In one of my closets.

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Nice.
That is very interesting.

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I don't think I did a pretty
deep dive about your background.

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I don't think I came across that
so maybe that'll be give a book

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in the works on that by any
chance.

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Or well, it's interesting that
you ask about that.

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This is something I really want
to talk about today is my

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passion for stoicism, and the
combination of stoicism and

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empathy, and a lot of my
stoicism training is partly

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influenced by Vulcan philosophy
and the second box.

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Correct.
Yes.

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That's about the extent of my
knowledge about Star Trek.

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So this its value and I
represent the spectrum of Star

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Trek knowledge, then between
this world.

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Yeah.
Yeah.

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There's so many different places
we can start this discussion but

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you know, I think if we were to
Look at, you know, if we were to

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Google share mean Cruz.
Obviously the tedx speech that

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you gave or think you've given
to it's a big feather in your

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cap.
It's probably, you know, one of

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the things you're very well
known for most of our listeners

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are very familiar with tedx.
Obviously, it's a platform with

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thousands of ideas worth
spreading their logo.

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I think your last tedx talk got
like something like two hundred,

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thirty thousand views.
In addition, to being a speaker.

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It sounds like there's another
layer to this.

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So I'd love if you could talk a
little bit more about Out your

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involvement with tedx.
Yes.

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Absolutely.
I'd love to do that.

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You know it's always an honor
and opportunity to be asked to

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speak and I'd love to talk about
my tedx talk and hopefully we'll

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do that today.
What I personally find a lot

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more interesting is producing
the talks themselves so I hold

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the license from Ted to produce
talks and what's involved in

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that is really the definition of
idea curation, you get to have

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an impact on the way people
think.

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By curating ideas finding
speakers.

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And again I emphasize ideas
because it's really less about

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the speaker and more about the
message.

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It's just that the speaker has
to be the right person and

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Ambassador for that message.
And then once we've selected

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them actually have a team of 25,
curators who I work with, very,

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very diverse from all walks of
life.

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Generationally racially,
geographically, diverse, once

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we've selected our speakers.
We work on pinning down but the

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'He, is we work on script
development, along with our

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speakers, we help them.
Rehearse.

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We do many, many rehearsals
because really these are short

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films that just happened to be
filmed in front of a live

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audience and they have to be
fully memorized and almost

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nobody delivering them is an
actor or actress.

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So they're not accustomed to
memorizing lines and delivering

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them which is probably why they
come across as authentic and

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beautiful.
So the process altogether is

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really a, it's a privilege
nikhil to be able to I need

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these incredible people and to
help them find their voice and

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find their idea and to give them
the platform for that idea to be

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heard.
It really has become a big part

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of my identity.
This work, I'm very proud of it.

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Yeah.
And so I think my understanding

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is that you run the tedx
Wrigleyville.

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Are they called chapters or
what?

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What is the terminology there
for FedEx, it's called right

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after where the tedx
Wrigleyville group and tedx ah,

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goes run by someone else.
So tedx is our Geographic.

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They are the licenses are given
geographically.

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And when I went to apply for a
license tedx Chicago was not

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available for me and I live in
Wrigleyville, so I said, hey,

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let's do tedx Wrigleyville,
because who knows?

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Maybe the Cubs will give me
Wrigley Fields to fill man.

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And then lo and behold things
happen, right?

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Actually happened.
And that's sort of how my group

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became really well known because
of the production quality,

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because tedx groups really the
production quality, really?

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Very There are people with
extremely limited budgets

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groups.
I should say with extremely

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limited budgets, who just record
on zoom and then there are two,

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three hundred thousand dollar
Productions that take place with

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Lighting and Sound and audience
and design, and activities, Etc.

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So to be among the handful who
really produce high-quality

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talks has been really a
privilege.

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I'm curious.
Is there any particular focus

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with tedx Wrigleyville?
What I would say is, every year

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we choose a different theme.
Aim for our speakers.

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This last year was rethinking
the hypothesis.

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So, you know, produce the talk
on essentially rethinking

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neurodegenerative diseases but
also a talk on rethinking, the

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gender, binary distinction,
which is something that I've

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struggled to understand
personally.

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And so I was really interested
in learning more about that area

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or rethinking how to play with
your children, right?

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So the range could really be
that wide as long as it fits

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within the theme, and it's
really intended to be

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interdisciplinary.
Canary from have that, our group

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does have a focus but our focus
is more on how we Source our

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speakers.
There's a handful of really

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well, known groups globally.
And most of them choose

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celebrity speakers or speakers
who already have a big following

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on social, because I guarantee a
successful talk.

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If you're measuring success by
impact, which means views in a

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YouTube world, we do it very
differently.

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We look for people who have
really great ideas, but don't

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already have the platform 2.
Have those ideas heard and then

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give them the platform, which
makes our job a lot more

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challenging.
Because again, if you're

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measuring success by impact and
impact is who hears your message

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in a context like this to
YouTube clicks, which I know

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sounds kind of depressing.
And it's not always about the

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numbers.
Sometimes it's about who clicks

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and who watches versus how many
might have said that, if that's

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how you're measuring impact.
And the person doesn't already

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have a social following, then
it's very challenging to make

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sure that people actually here
and watch and listen to that.

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Message.
So, our work is cut out for us,

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but we managed quite well.
I'm actually really, really

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proud of our group.
We haven't produced a single

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talk this year that got less
than 40,000 views.

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So, wow.
And some of them go into the

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hundreds of thousands of them go
into the millions.

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You know, there's very little,
you can do to control that other

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than just really great ideas,
really great scripts, great.

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And, and then just hoping that
the message gets out there.

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Yeah, and I think that's You
bring up a good point.

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Sure.
I mean about the challenges that

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I think a lot of content
creators face, you know, running

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this podcast as I can definitely
identify what that because

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there's that Continuum between
impact and measurability or in

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terms of its quantity versus
quality, I wouldn't say they're

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mutually exclusive but the
challenge is a lot of time.

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Did you have to make sacrifices
or make, you know, changes or

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adaptations to get your message
out there to get you know, those

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clicks and to get those views?
To maybe not approach Kardashian

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level the reality, but, you
know, then it's like what what

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do you give up then in terms of
that impact?

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Because that is a good point you
made earlier, I mean, because

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about the science talk, right?
Because when you're talking

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about ideas, that might go
against the grain, it might

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question the Norms sometimes,
there is a little bit of, you

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know, push back, and whether its
natural or whether there's I

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don't want, I don't want to
start talking about censorship

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but you know, there's it's
definitely We a fine dance that

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you have to be a part of, you
know, take such a strike that

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balance.
Yes, absolutely.

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And you know, as a producer
nikhil how challenging that

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dances you want to stay
authentic and true to the

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message.
And again, the whole point if we

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just wanted to be an echo
chamber for ideas that are

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already popular.
Why are we even doing this?

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It's just interesting, right?
But at the same time, if

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literally no one's going to
listen.

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That also why are you doing it,
right?

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You're just near not just yet
for yourself.

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So you could pat yourself on the
shoulder and you know, you're

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next And Cheese party.
Congratulate yourself on how

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smart you are.
I've had talks that got very few

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views but you know, I'll give
you a story.

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One of them was the deputy
treasurer of the state of

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Illinois.
We actually approached him to

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give a talk in the middle of
covid, height of covid.

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And we wanted very specifically
for him to give us three ideas

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on how to economically.
Infuse monetary resources into

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struggling urban communities
business sector, do that.

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Those communities can better be
equipped to build and help

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themselves with that infusion
and he did.

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And it didn't get that many
views.

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But a year and a half, it became
150 million dollar piece of

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legislation in the state of
Illinois because the governor

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watched it.
So we're going without

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legislature watched it.
There's it's so it's sometimes

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it's really about more targeted.
You know who sees this and how

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do we give some level of
credibility to these ideas and

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then you see the Anyway, and
then other times it is literally

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just exposure exposure exposure
without compromising values.

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Because once you compromise the
values, you really lose the very

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credibility that your platform
is based on that, people click

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to begin with, right?
Yeah.

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You know, that that's that's
very gracious of you to steer

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the conversation to the work,
you're doing to help others, you

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know, with curate their ideas.
Because you could probably talk

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about this, in your sleep, about
the talk you gave about empathy,

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but I did want to talk a little
bit about that because it was

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such an interesting talk and I
think it'll resonate with a lot

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of people out there whether
they're existing leaders or the

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emerging leaders.
When you hear the word empathy

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you think of people who are just
trying to change the world very

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idealistic and it can be a
draining thing, but it sounds

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like the way you have
conceptualized empathy.

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It's a little bit of a different
take on that.

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So I wanted to hear from you.
If you could, you're one of your

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talks was about a very unique
spin on empathy.

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If you Take us through that a
little bit.

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Sure.
Absolutely, I'd love to do that.

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So there is a spectrum between
two types of empathy and it's

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really important that we
understand what each one means

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and why you would use one versus
the other.

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So emotional empathy is what we
typically conceive of, you know,

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lavender candles and let's hold
hands and be emotionally in sync

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with one another who has been
Kumbaya around the.

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Yeah, it's great.
You know, the best way to serve

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Think of a movie, think of the
moment that ice man dies in

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Maverick, or the orgasm.
Seen in When Harry Met Sally,

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you feel shock and pain.
When ice man, dies,

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embarrassment When Sally fix her
orgasm.

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But these are fictional
characters, you're not actually

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there and yet you still feel the
feeling that their experiences,

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even the experiences of the
fictional characters is trying

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to generate in you.
So, obviously think now

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translate that into real life
that And much stronger

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Connection in the real world or
can be.

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So you're feeling what other
people are feeling cognitive,

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empathy is the other kind.
And it doesn't require any

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emotional connection at all.
So, now we're back to Spock from

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Star Trek right.
There is just an understanding

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of the thoughts and emotions of
the other side.

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Looking at the world through
their Paradigm lumps, but it

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goes beyond a simple logical
grasp.

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So, You really have to think of
Spock after.

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He spent a lot of time on the
Enterprise because in order to

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fully understand the emotions
and thoughts of others, you do

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need to have a basic ability to
connect with people on an

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emotional level.
But what I'm really passionate

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about is, combining this
cognitive empathy, which is kind

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of like a stoic empathy.
It is an emotional control of

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yourself.
While being aware of the

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emotions of others to gain
power.

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And, you know, both personal and
professional settings.

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So after my family, and I
escaped to on, WE escaped War,

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oppression, we immigrated to
Canada.

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And then the US with no money
and we found all these freedoms.

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But then, we also learned that
it's not just bombs and brutal

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governments that take your power
away, right?

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When you're a minority or a
woman or poor Nana, Grant these

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things we can your position in
every negotiation, every social

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political position, whether
you're asking to lead the team

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at work or Bargaining your bonus
structure and I really learned

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to correct this imbalance using
a stoic kind of empathy and I'm

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really passionate about that.
That's what the tedx talk is

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about.
And actually I'm pitching a book

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on this subject right now.
I owed the summary to my agent

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in six days ago, working on
that.

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Wow.
Yeah.

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And I think I'm not mistaken.
Do you also have a master class

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00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,400
about this on your website?
Is that correct?

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I do correct.
Yes.

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The master class, actually,
teach this material.

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Northwestern Law School in the
context of negotiations.

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And that is what the master
class does as well.

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It's a very academic Master
Class if you ever wanted to take

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00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,500
a class at Northwestern law
school but aren't enrolled or

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don't have the money.
These things cost thousands of

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00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:38,700
dollars per credit hour, right?
Just sign up for my class and

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00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:43,000
you know more my master class on
chair mean cruises.com and it's

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a lot of the same material.
It really teaches how to be more

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tactical about the way you use
empathy to gain power.

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Power in negotiations where
there's a power imbalance.

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Awesome.
Yeah.

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I know it sounds sounds really
interesting and I think leaders

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00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,000
it is a very challenging thing
because the world I think is

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Shifting with all these crises
that were going through and

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there was a time and place where
that was that take-no-prisoners

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type of mentality.
There was that hard-charging and

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especially in a very
male-dominated environment where

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it was like you know, the quote,
I would always use his feelings

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or bad for business you know.
Let's just look at numbers.

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00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:20,900
Let's just take a Cold and
calculating View.

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And then, you know, the pendulum
shift to this, like we said,

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earlier the Kumbaya philosophy
where let's just, you know, hold

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00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:31,100
hands.
And let's let's save the world,

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00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:34,800
but I love the fact that this
strikes a balance between those

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00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,600
two where it's like, let's try
to have that emotional

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00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:42,300
intelligence but also to the
point where it's very strategic

319
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:44,500
and It Go focused and goal
oriented, right?

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I guess you would say 100%, I
agree and you know, from the

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00:16:47,608 --> 00:16:50,100
perspective of a leader, ER, or
but say, it's from the

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00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:53,000
perspective of a parent, you
know, I once received really

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00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,700
traumatic information while I
was in the middle of mothering,

324
00:16:55,700 --> 00:17:00,200
my four children, my kids were
little, and they were there, and

325
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,000
I could not have a strong,
emotional reaction, it would

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00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,700
traumatize, the children.
So I had no choice but to

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contain my reaction to protect
them from being traumatized to.

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So this is how stoicism is in
fact not just compatible with

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00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,300
empathy but the skill sets are
essential to the full.

330
00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:22,200
Schilling of the other as a
leader, think of how many times.

331
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,900
You know, you're responsible for
a team emotional control,

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00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:29,300
doesn't mean not feeling
emotions or even expressing

333
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:32,200
emotions.
It's simply means having some

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level of control over how you
experience and demonstrate the

335
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:40,500
emotion, depending on the
context.

336
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:44,200
And based on what, you know,
about the feelings of the others

337
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:48,500
in that context, and how you
could motivate them challenge

338
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:51,000
them.
To protect them right?

339
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:54,800
Or whether you are totally and
completely free to feel because

340
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,000
it's just you and your best
friend getting drunk together in

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00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,800
a bar, crying, about whatever is
going on in your life.

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00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,800
That's just terrible right now,
right?

343
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,500
And that's great too, it's
appropriate for that context.

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00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:10,300
It's not appropriate for me to
be drunk, crying in front of my

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00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:13,200
kids.
So or at work, right?

346
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,000
You know?
It and again it could be.

347
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,600
It depends on the context,
right?

348
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:20,300
And what we're talking about
right now, It's just having the

349
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:26,800
awareness and the capability to
moderate yourself is appropriate

350
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,400
in particular settings so that
you don't harm the people around

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00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,200
you with your own feelings.
If people are interested in

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00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,500
learning more about because
stoicism is something that, you

353
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,600
know, there's that adjective
stoic obviously.

354
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,000
But there is a whole philosophy
about an addition to the stuff

355
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,700
you've written, are there any
particular thought leaders that

356
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:47,500
you would recommend that they
look into?

357
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:50,700
I am a lover. / of ideas and
philosophy.

358
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:53,800
And I read a lot of Seneca and
Marcus Aurelius and it's yeah.

359
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,200
Seneca was the one that came to
mind but yeah, yes, 100%.

360
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,200
I mean, you're going back twenty
three hundred years but and the

361
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,300
ideas are somewhat dated, and
they need to be slightly

362
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:07,600
modified and combined more with
these current ideas and

363
00:19:07,608 --> 00:19:11,500
understandings of empathy.
But that was really stoicism

364
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,200
before.
It went all Hollywood, which it

365
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,400
has now, it's become a little
bit trendy.

366
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,400
Yeah, you know, having said that
there is a lot to be Learn from

367
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:24,700
those ancient thinkers and the
golden nuggets of Truth truths.

368
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:28,900
I should say that exist in their
philosophies remain accurate and

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00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:32,900
applicable to this day but you
know again caveat they do need

370
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:38,100
to be modernized for this world
and the moral paradigms of this

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00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:40,800
world which are slightly
different, the conception of an

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00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,400
equitable Society was just was
different back then, but of

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00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,900
course before, for okay now
we'll put it in modern terms of

374
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:49,800
what Equitable looks Like right
or what?

375
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,500
Ethics looks like.
It still has an incredible

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00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:55,600
amount of applicability.
It really does and they're

377
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,800
they're still my greatest
teachers personally.

378
00:19:58,100 --> 00:19:59,000
Yep, sometimes.
Yeah.

379
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,200
You just got to got to go to the
Classics for the insights for

380
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,800
sure.
Sometimes you do.

381
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,500
Yeah.
So you know your story is really

382
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:09,500
incredible.
I mean you know, author attorney

383
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:12,100
Professor mother.
I mean it's just that the list

384
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:16,100
keeps going on but then there's
the other pile that's almost as

385
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,700
high in formidable and that is
the fact that You're a woman, a

386
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:23,300
minority and immigrant, so,
navigating that Journey you've

387
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:27,100
had to face many hurdles, what
are some of the techniques that

388
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,400
you've used to succeed in
surmount?

389
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:33,300
Some of the obstacles of been
putting your path besides

390
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:38,600
stoicism and empathy, really, my
life's dedication has been to

391
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:44,400
two very simple ways of being
caring and working hard.

392
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:48,700
I genuinely believe and this
goes for being a mother and

393
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:52,400
teaching these to my kids, too.
I genuinely believe if you

394
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:59,200
simply avoid a life where you
are idle and you are not active

395
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:04,300
and you are lazy, that you will
not achieve fulfillment.

396
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,900
You just need to care about the
world.

397
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:14,500
Have some concern about your
impact on this on this Earth for

398
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:17,700
the Brief period of time that
you're here and then what guard

399
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:19,400
at it.
There's so many different ways

400
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,000
of talking about this.
I find it.

401
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,800
So beautifully encapsulated by a
baby.

402
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:29,900
Who's learning to walk?
The baby pulls himself up.

403
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:34,800
False cries.
Pulls himself up all's cries.

404
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,600
Pulls himself up, takes a step
Falls.

405
00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:43,100
Maybe cries thousands of times.
This baby just thousands of ton.

406
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:46,600
It doesn't occur to A baby
because it's a genetic

407
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:50,800
biological imperative in that
case to just sit down forever,

408
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:54,000
not occur to them, right?
It's something that we are

409
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:59,200
conditioned to learn and believe
as we get older, and as we

410
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,600
experience the repeated slap in
the face, that's life, but

411
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,300
you've got to the baby has that
biological imperative.

412
00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:08,700
You're not going to have that
necessarily with respect to what

413
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:11,100
your goals are.
So you have to have the passion,

414
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:14,600
the carrot it has to matter to
you, right.

415
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:19,900
And it has matter to you beyond
the momentary experience of

416
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:23,100
pleasure.
It has to matter to you at your

417
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:25,200
core and I do mean everything
that you do.

418
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:30,200
But as a general matter how you
live, your life has to matter as

419
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:33,700
a general matter, you have to be
able to be comfortable with the

420
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:36,900
consistency between your values
and your actions, when you lay

421
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:40,300
your head down at night, and to
the extent that your actions,

422
00:22:40,300 --> 00:22:44,000
violated your values, which they
sometimes will, they just well

423
00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:47,800
because your You have to
acknowledge that and then you

424
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,800
have to find a way to resolve it
either within yourself or within

425
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,300
your community, whatever the
case might be, and then do

426
00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:55,800
better the next day.
You know what you touched on

427
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,800
there?
I love the analogy used about,

428
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,900
you know, the baby that falls
down and gets up.

429
00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:03,900
And, you know, continues to,
it's like they are driven by

430
00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:06,900
this failure is not an option
Mantra, right?

431
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,900
And you make a good point in
some of your other talks about

432
00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:12,900
how failure can actually make
you stronger, As Long as You

433
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,100
observe, what's going on and
Then you bounce back, obviously

434
00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:19,400
your resume, you've got success
after success, but I'd love to

435
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:23,100
hear more about some of the
instances of failure at you

436
00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:25,400
bounce back from because I think
our listeners would could

437
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,700
definitely learn a lot from
that.

438
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,800
I appreciate you asking about
that.

439
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,300
It's always so hard at but yet,
so important to talk about, I'm

440
00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:33,800
going to give you an example of
failure.

441
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,600
That was an epic failure and
that really required me to just

442
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,700
rethink the direction of my life
because that the example of the

443
00:23:41,708 --> 00:23:44,700
baby, the baby eventually gets
to walk but there are sometimes

444
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:48,500
Things that you will fail at and
you will never get to do, right?

445
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,600
And this is my story.
My story is at the peak of my

446
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,500
legal practice.
I was really interested in

447
00:23:53,508 --> 00:23:56,700
becoming a federal judge.
I practice law for almost 18

448
00:23:56,700 --> 00:24:00,400
years at a very, very high level
and back home in Iran.

449
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,400
Women can be lawyers, but they
can't be judges.

450
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:07,000
And so the idea that I was in
America and I could become the

451
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,800
first Iranian American, I wanted
to be a federal judge.

452
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,500
The first Iranian American
federal judge in the United

453
00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:14,700
States of America.
That's stuck.

454
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,900
Up with me and I thought I'm
qualified.

455
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:21,400
I can do this job.
You know, I really can and I

456
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,400
went for it.
But the thing about political

457
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,300
appointments, is there really
tricky?

458
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:30,100
And I think I tried maybe five
times and twice.

459
00:24:30,100 --> 00:24:31,900
It was between me and one other
person.

460
00:24:31,900 --> 00:24:34,400
So I mean, I came really close.
It's not as though.

461
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:39,100
It was a pie in the sky type of
idea, it was achievable, I just

462
00:24:39,100 --> 00:24:42,100
didn't achieve it now, there are
so many reasons for that.

463
00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:45,200
It's a very complicated thing to
try to become a federal And the

464
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,900
people end up getting the job
are great.

465
00:24:46,900 --> 00:24:49,200
They're do, I mean I see them on
the bench, they're doing really,

466
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,100
really great work.
I ended up taking my life to a

467
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,400
really different direction from
from that direction because when

468
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,200
you're a federal judge you
really can't be an activist.

469
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,200
You really can't be politically
engaged or involved in any way

470
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,200
for obvious reasons you can't
demonstrate any kind of

471
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,400
favoritism or bias of any kind.
These are lifetime appointments.

472
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,500
So for an entire lifetime, I
couldn't do any kind of activism

473
00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:14,100
or even a lot of charitable
events or engagements are not

474
00:25:14,100 --> 00:25:16,900
appropriate.
But, you know, at that moment,

475
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:22,000
at that moment, when the last
time I applied and I did and I

476
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:27,000
came so close and I didn't make
it, and I just had to decide

477
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,100
whether I was going to keep
trying, which would have met

478
00:25:30,300 --> 00:25:32,500
keeping my legal practice as
well, because you have to

479
00:25:32,508 --> 00:25:37,100
continue to be a qualified
lawyer, obviously versus

480
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:41,200
redirecting my life.
And at that moment, I chose to

481
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:48,000
redirect my life and find Packed
in a different way and remain

482
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,200
committed to the fact that I was
going to lead an impactful life.

483
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,200
But now I was going to impact in
a different way.

484
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:56,300
It was really hard.
I mean, it really was.

485
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,000
And this idea of bouncing back,
I think it really needs to be

486
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,900
said, you know, sometimes you
really do just fail, the

487
00:26:02,900 --> 00:26:07,800
particular task, but that
doesn't mean you failed at the

488
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:12,500
goal.
So if my goal is impact, if my

489
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:17,700
goal is to honor my Unity.
If my goal is to be a good

490
00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:21,600
ambassador to my people, then
there are other ways of

491
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:25,200
accomplishing that goal than the
one thing I had set my sights on

492
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,000
that depended on a complex
political system outside of my

493
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,900
control, but yeah, it was really
hard.

494
00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:33,900
Yeah.
And, and so, so the federal

495
00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:37,700
judgeship, I guess that
something, I mean was that like

496
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:40,700
several years in the process
where you had, it was a pretty

497
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,300
rigorous thing that you had to
go through and how long ago was

498
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:48,000
that well.
I suppose the last so it ended

499
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:52,300
maybe four years ago and it
lasted at least four years and I

500
00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:54,200
guess continuing on that
discussion.

501
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,800
Thanks that was that was very
interesting and enlightening.

502
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,400
I think it's it's good.
You make a good point.

503
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:03,000
I mean, not every story has a
happy ending, right?

504
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,200
I mean when we have to be
resilient and sort of Take the

505
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:10,200
Long View and sort of see these
as bumps in the road that can be

506
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:14,300
painful but ultimately you know
very beneficial and help for

507
00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:16,900
Permission.
What is your current like, how

508
00:27:16,900 --> 00:27:19,900
are you spending your days?
Currently, we talked about the

509
00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:23,400
tedx work.
You talked about writing books

510
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,300
and are you currently practicing
as an attorney as well?

511
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:28,400
Or is that something you had
walked away from?

512
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,200
What I actually retired from the
practice.

513
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,300
After I didn't get the last time
I didn't get the judgeship.

514
00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:36,600
I retired from practice, I'll be
honest with you nikhil.

515
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:41,100
Some of us have to buy a premium
in this world and I had reached

516
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:45,900
a level where I didn't need a
particular, Come anymore.

517
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,800
So I retired from practice, I
started teaching law.

518
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:52,300
So I am a professor at
Northwestern law, school, and

519
00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:57,100
writing and producing, and
really sort of dedicated myself

520
00:27:57,100 --> 00:28:01,500
and my world and my life to
having an impact on ideas,

521
00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:03,500
whether they were my own or
other people's, right?

522
00:28:03,500 --> 00:28:07,300
And I mentioned earlier that,
that I'm just as passionate

523
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:10,300
about finding other people's
great ideas and helping them

524
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:14,600
bring those into the world as I
am with my own and that's the

525
00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:16,100
Auction.
I ended up going, I couldn't

526
00:28:16,100 --> 00:28:19,100
have done any of that.
If I was a judge, I could have

527
00:28:19,100 --> 00:28:23,000
written, I still could have
taught maybe certain classes, I

528
00:28:23,008 --> 00:28:27,000
still could have published my
textbook but I couldn't be doing

529
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:31,400
the work that I'm doing now.
And honestly now I cannot

530
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,000
conceive of a world where I'd be
doing anything else.

531
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:38,400
I mean it's I am just so
fulfilled with where I am.

532
00:28:38,700 --> 00:28:42,100
And this life is also full of
fear, right?

533
00:28:42,100 --> 00:28:46,200
I mean there is the sponsor For
the tedx event that you couldn't

534
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:50,300
get or there is this speaker who
disappointed you because they

535
00:28:50,300 --> 00:28:53,900
just didn't rehearse and their
talk was choppy or there is the

536
00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:58,000
book that didn't get published
because the publisher didn't buy

537
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,500
it, or there is the Arts
exhibition that didn't get the

538
00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:03,500
coverage, you want.
I mean, whatever it is.

539
00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:06,500
It's happens every day.
But I get to live this life and

540
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:09,500
I get to be this person, and
it's really cool.

541
00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:12,900
The judge example, was one where
I don't get to live that life.

542
00:29:12,900 --> 00:29:16,100
I don't get to be that person
and a At the time, it really

543
00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:21,600
felt like an epic fail.
But now, looking back with a few

544
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:25,400
years of time and space in
between, I can't imagine

545
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,800
anything other than the life
that I'm living now.

546
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,900
I can't imagine that.
It would be fulfilling for me,

547
00:29:31,100 --> 00:29:33,500
you know, one could say maybe it
all worked out the way it was

548
00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:34,900
supposed to.
I don't know that.

549
00:29:34,900 --> 00:29:38,800
I believe that, I think that we
choose in many respects would

550
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,600
get, you know, given different
opportunities and freedoms.

551
00:29:41,900 --> 00:29:47,900
We choose our Direction.
And if Road is closed to us and

552
00:29:47,900 --> 00:29:52,200
we have to detour, then how we
detour is something that we

553
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,800
choose, right?
So, Viktor Frankl writes about

554
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,500
this, he's the gentleman who is
in the concentration camps,

555
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,800
right?
He could not control whether to

556
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:05,700
Stay or Leave the concentration
camp but he could control how he

557
00:30:05,700 --> 00:30:11,000
would approach his captivity so
and he could later than control,

558
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,600
how he would approach his
freedom.

559
00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:16,300
And so these are the things that
we control in our lives.

560
00:30:16,300 --> 00:30:19,000
And again, as long as we
maintain that hard work and some

561
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,700
of that hard work isn't labor,
moving stones from one space to

562
00:30:22,700 --> 00:30:26,900
another but internal right?
How do we build ourselves up?

563
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,800
How do we force ourselves to get
out of bed on those really hard

564
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,700
days?
How do we motivate ourselves

565
00:30:32,100 --> 00:30:37,200
before a big meeting or
engagements to just be on and be

566
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:41,300
persuasive?
And how do we present ourselves

567
00:30:41,300 --> 00:30:43,000
every day?
Not just to the world between

568
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,500
our families?
Sure.

569
00:30:44,700 --> 00:30:48,100
He's our best selves, even on
those really hard days with our

570
00:30:48,100 --> 00:30:51,100
spouses.
Our kids are animals, right?

571
00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:53,900
How do we not take our pain out
on them?

572
00:30:54,100 --> 00:30:58,600
But show them our joy.
These are, this is work hard

573
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,400
work every day.
But yeah, that's, that's my

574
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,200
life.
Now, long story short and and I

575
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,400
would say the epic fail really
helped bring me to where I am

576
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,200
now and it's a great place to
be.

577
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:11,400
No, it's really, really
impressive.

578
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,900
Kind of how you've, you know
just the directions that And I

579
00:31:14,908 --> 00:31:18,500
think I read something about you
actually looked into getting,

580
00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:21,600
like, you were doing something
with Fine Arts at one point or

581
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,300
something like that.
Is a, the true.

582
00:31:23,500 --> 00:31:25,000
Yes.
Well, Arts are always going to

583
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:29,900
be a big aspect of my life.
So I've I founded an NGO.

584
00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:33,600
Some time ago that exchange art
and culture between Iran and the

585
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,700
US and that's still operating
and I still run artistic

586
00:31:36,700 --> 00:31:41,900
exhibitions, I just produced a
woman like, Freedom neural, it's

587
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:44,100
actually right at the corner.
If you're in the Chicago area of

588
00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:46,000
car, can I Son stop by and take
a look.

589
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,500
It's right by the UFC gem, it's
a big huge 14 by 16.

590
00:31:49,900 --> 00:31:53,200
This is huge mural and your I
can paint it but I found the

591
00:31:53,208 --> 00:31:56,700
yard, you know myself and some
others that I don't want to take

592
00:31:56,700 --> 00:32:00,800
all the credit found the artist,
I can Iran and you know, got the

593
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:02,600
money for it.
Organized it made it happen.

594
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,500
I have an artistic exhibition
opening actually this Friday

595
00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:09,200
night that's another woman like
Freedom exhibition.

596
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,200
A lot of my stuff has been
around focused.

597
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:16,500
My first book is a novel I
Almost got my masters in Fine

598
00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:17,900
Arts.
I think I'm like three credits

599
00:32:17,900 --> 00:32:20,400
short of getting my masters in
Fine Arts.

600
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:23,000
I didn't end up completing the
program because I got pregnant

601
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,000
with the twins that year.
My book came out and I made

602
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:37,700
partner at the firm.
No, but you're excused to it and

603
00:32:37,700 --> 00:32:40,600
it will always continue to have
that.

604
00:32:40,700 --> 00:32:44,400
And in that world there is a lot
of ongoing.

605
00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:48,000
Successes and failures.
So you could have an exhibition

606
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,300
that's really popular and
meaningful, and you could have

607
00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:54,000
one that nobody shows up to I've
had book readings that have been

608
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:58,500
in front of thousands, of people
in a convention center, and I

609
00:32:58,500 --> 00:33:01,200
once had a reading at a
bookstore that one guy showed up

610
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,500
too.
So yeah, that world is

611
00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:08,400
definitely full of failures, but
it intersects with the realm of

612
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,000
ideas and influence and advocacy
very nicely.

613
00:33:11,300 --> 00:33:12,700
Yeah.
And then one of the other things

614
00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:14,500
I wanted to learn about that
you're involved with right now.

615
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,900
Now is my reality cubed, I
wasn't sure if you could talk a

616
00:33:18,908 --> 00:33:21,600
little bit more about that.
Yeah, sure, absolutely.

617
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:25,400
So my reality cube is my own
entity that I operate.

618
00:33:25,700 --> 00:33:28,000
I used to do a lot more coaching
that I do now.

619
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:32,000
And mostly work on a macro level
and just gets is generally to

620
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,700
larger audiences.
I still do some coaching for the

621
00:33:35,700 --> 00:33:39,100
right person.
If it's a good fit but yes, the

622
00:33:39,100 --> 00:33:43,500
entity is the operational entity
for speaking opportunities and

623
00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:46,800
coaching opportunities.
And it's also the one that's

624
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,600
producing the master classes.
The first one of which is

625
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:53,800
already available on chairman
Cruz.com but if anybody who's

626
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:57,900
listening is interested in
reaching out, you can find me

627
00:33:57,900 --> 00:34:01,700
through shamen Crews.com or
LinkedIn so we've touched on a

628
00:34:01,708 --> 00:34:02,600
lot of things.
Sure.

629
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:06,100
I mean, but I think at the end
of the day, the title of this

630
00:34:06,100 --> 00:34:10,100
podcast is untethering your
life, you know, going beyond.

631
00:34:10,100 --> 00:34:14,500
What seems safe and trading up
for what can seem painful but

632
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,000
Ultimately is very rewarding and
this theme.

633
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,600
Definitely I think aligns with
your story very well.

634
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,600
You know, since there's been a
lot of challenges and struggles

635
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:27,199
that you've managed to come out
of even stronger and broken a

636
00:34:27,207 --> 00:34:29,900
lot of barriers and Achieve
quite a bit.

637
00:34:29,900 --> 00:34:31,800
So the listener I was just
curious.

638
00:34:31,900 --> 00:34:35,699
What would you say to the
listener that they can do to

639
00:34:35,900 --> 00:34:39,600
untether their life?
So the first thing I have to say

640
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:43,800
and the first time I realized
this, it actually really changed

641
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,500
my life.
There's Is perception that those

642
00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:49,600
who are succeeding or seem to
have it all together.

643
00:34:50,199 --> 00:34:55,000
Don't mentally struggle, just
more resilient or they're just

644
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,800
better at handling things,
right?

645
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,500
They don't experience depression
and anxiety.

646
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,700
And if I'm experiencing those
things, and that's a sort of a

647
00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:05,300
deficiency, right?
It's a sort of a flaw.

648
00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:07,900
There was a moment in time when
I realized that, I don't know a

649
00:35:07,900 --> 00:35:12,200
single highly productive person,
and I use the word productive

650
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,700
sometimes, instead of the word
successful, because success, Is

651
00:35:14,700 --> 00:35:19,700
implies money in this Society,
productive implies impact,

652
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:21,500
right, which could be wealth
right?

653
00:35:21,500 --> 00:35:24,300
But it could be other things.
I don't know, a single

654
00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:27,900
productive person who doesn't
struggle with mental and

655
00:35:27,908 --> 00:35:32,200
emotional issues, whether it's
anxiety or depression, or I

656
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:36,500
mean, you know, I think really
humans have these struggles, it

657
00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:39,900
is just a component of our
Humanity, but if you're really

658
00:35:39,900 --> 00:35:45,300
pushing the limits of yourself,
if you have chosen a life, That

659
00:35:45,300 --> 00:35:49,700
asks you to grow, which requires
you to step out of your comfort

660
00:35:49,700 --> 00:35:51,500
zone, right?
That is the only way to grow,

661
00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:53,900
literally you already know this
circle.

662
00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:57,100
Now, you have to expand to the
broader Circle in order to grow,

663
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,900
but you haven't expanded yet,
you don't know it yet.

664
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,100
It is quite literally stuff.
You don't know and will be

665
00:36:03,100 --> 00:36:05,200
uncomfortable and in are more
likely to fail up.

666
00:36:05,500 --> 00:36:08,300
So if you've chosen this life of
growth versus a life of

667
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:11,600
stagnation, you are going to
experience anxiety, you are

668
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,900
going to expect, you're just
it's going to happen.

669
00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:17,400
It's not a Maybe it's not an F,
it's only a one.

670
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,500
So the best you can do and
candidly the best you can do for

671
00:36:20,500 --> 00:36:22,500
your kids.
If you're pushing them to be

672
00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:25,700
high, Achievers is give yourself
and your kids.

673
00:36:26,100 --> 00:36:30,200
The toolbox that you need to
cope with these emotions and

674
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,700
that toolbox can be a variety of
different things for a variety

675
00:36:32,700 --> 00:36:35,900
of different people, but that
has to be a part of your

676
00:36:35,900 --> 00:36:39,700
training that has to be a part
of your parenting and how you

677
00:36:39,700 --> 00:36:42,100
train your kids.
And so, if you're doing it with

678
00:36:42,100 --> 00:36:45,100
them, and you're doing it to
yourself building, To put it on

679
00:36:45,107 --> 00:36:47,400
that background and then just
being ready.

680
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,800
It's going to hit and it hits
sometimes randomly and sometimes

681
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,900
not so randomly, actually never
really random, right?

682
00:36:53,900 --> 00:36:56,500
It's what, you know, it's your
body and your cells coping and

683
00:36:56,500 --> 00:36:59,000
dealing with the stress that
you're exposing them to why,

684
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,800
because the alternative would be
to sit still and learn and do

685
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,400
nothing, right?
If you're the same person, you

686
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:09,200
are today, five years from now,
you have failed at being a

687
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:13,100
human, but if you are a better
person, a smarter person

688
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,600
stronger person have The way you
define these things, then you

689
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:20,700
have succeeded and in order to
get from A to B and then from B

690
00:37:20,700 --> 00:37:24,900
to C and if we see Daddy you got
it, you gotta just be willing to

691
00:37:24,900 --> 00:37:27,500
risk it.
You got to you got to know that

692
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:31,500
some of it is going to suck and
some of it is you're going to

693
00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:35,000
feel, I'm sorry to speak, so in
eloquently but sometimes just

694
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000
got feel dumb because you don't
know this.

695
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,700
You know, it's actually the TED
Talks are really great example

696
00:37:39,700 --> 00:37:41,600
of this.
So here I have this incredible

697
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:45,900
expert in their industry
renowned such and such But they

698
00:37:45,900 --> 00:37:49,600
have to write the script when
they write the script, they have

699
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,600
to memorize it and then they
have to perform it.

700
00:37:52,700 --> 00:37:55,300
So until they have memorized it
and learned how to perform a

701
00:37:55,300 --> 00:37:57,400
perfectly.
They're not going to know it.

702
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:01,000
And they still have to get in
front of me at rehearsal and

703
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,300
deliver it.
And these are highly successful

704
00:38:03,300 --> 00:38:04,600
people.
And it's really hard for them to

705
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:08,200
look stupid, but they have to
get up there and look stupid in

706
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:12,100
order to get to being good.
And, you know, obviously, I'm

707
00:38:12,100 --> 00:38:14,400
there to help them in that
process.

708
00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:16,900
Hopefully you have people that
are there to help you and push

709
00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:18,900
you.
You've just got to find that

710
00:38:18,900 --> 00:38:22,100
Comfort level with the
stickiness of it all.

711
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:25,400
You've got to know it's not an
F, get comfortable with being

712
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,400
uncomfortable, I think there's a
term.

713
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,900
I don't I think I've heard it
used in the military but it's

714
00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:32,900
called embraced the sock which
is basically like and it goes

715
00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:36,100
back to that stoic approach
which is just like it's not

716
00:38:36,100 --> 00:38:39,300
going to be Sunshine and
Lollipops 24/7.

717
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,300
But if you don't go into the
lions den or whatever expression

718
00:38:42,300 --> 00:38:47,700
you want to use, then the It is
smooth sailing, but that's I

719
00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:51,300
love the way you say that that
is tantamount almost a failure

720
00:38:51,300 --> 00:38:53,400
and do you know anyone who's
leading that life, who's

721
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,000
actually satisfied with their
life?

722
00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:58,000
I mean, talk about a midlife
crisis, you look back at your

723
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,600
life and you think Jesus what
have I done with my life?

724
00:39:00,700 --> 00:39:02,100
And that's what, that's what
happens.

725
00:39:02,100 --> 00:39:05,900
You wake up one day and you
suddenly feel this incredible

726
00:39:05,900 --> 00:39:10,300
sense of waste and you can't get
away from that, you know, and so

727
00:39:10,300 --> 00:39:12,600
predicting that it's going to
happen and avoiding is the best

728
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,400
way.
Best way to go about life.

729
00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:16,800
Life.
So, we've talked about so many

730
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,000
amazing things and I've just
really enjoyed speaking with

731
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:24,900
you, and it's been so fun.
I'd like to know what's next

732
00:39:24,900 --> 00:39:29,000
for, for sure, me and Cruz.
Well, check out the master class

733
00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:32,900
and I am really hopeful.
This book will be out sometime

734
00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:36,700
in the summer.
Maybe obviously, tune into my

735
00:39:36,700 --> 00:39:38,600
TED Talk.
I would love for you to listen

736
00:39:38,700 --> 00:39:42,900
and follow me on social media
and also follow 10x

737
00:39:42,900 --> 00:39:45,400
Wrigleyville.
That's the entity that Produces

738
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,400
the talks I mentioned earlier
really incredible.

739
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,700
Human beings for you to connect
with their excellent.

740
00:39:51,700 --> 00:39:53,600
Excellent.
And so we've got your website

741
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,900
here for the listeners.
Your website is share mean,

742
00:39:56,900 --> 00:40:00,400
Crews.com would you mind
spelling that because obviously

743
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:03,300
that's doesn't roll off the tip
of the bottle off the top

744
00:40:08,700 --> 00:40:10,200
because it's actually spelled
with an S.

745
00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:18,300
Yeah, sh ERM inm like Mother.
I and like Nancy Cruz is also an

746
00:40:18,300 --> 00:40:21,900
unusual spelling because it is
short for Khrushchev ski.

747
00:40:21,900 --> 00:40:27,900
Actually they are you SE as my
father-in-law immigrated from

748
00:40:27,900 --> 00:40:31,100
Poland and shorten.
The last name before my husband

749
00:40:31,100 --> 00:40:33,000
was born, so we had, we had no
role in it.

750
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,000
I would have kept kraszewski, I
think it's good, but is a corner

751
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,700
kru?
I see, sh ERM I NK.

752
00:40:39,700 --> 00:40:41,100
R.
USC kind of sounds like the

753
00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:44,500
Mickey Mouse song has a nice
ring to it.

754
00:40:44,500 --> 00:40:49,000
Maybe you should add the Mickey
Mouse soundtrack behind and then

755
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,300
how else can people find you?
Sharon LinkedIn is actually a

756
00:40:52,300 --> 00:40:55,600
really great way to stay in
touch LinkedIn is probably the

757
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,700
best way.
I check my messages every day.

758
00:40:58,700 --> 00:41:01,200
Wonderful.
So Sheriff me and thanks again,

759
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,300
so much for for speaking to us
today.

760
00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:07,700
It was a wonderful conversation,
really inspirational to see what

761
00:41:07,700 --> 00:41:11,500
you've accomplished and really
excited to see what's in store

762
00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:13,600
for 2023.
So thanks again, share mean, it

763
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:14,800
was wonderful speech.
Be with you.

764
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,400
Thank you for having me.
Thank you guys for listening.

765
00:41:17,700 --> 00:41:20,800
Thanks so much for listening and
I hope you enjoyed that episode

766
00:41:21,300 --> 00:41:23,100
four, more of these types of
conversations.

767
00:41:23,100 --> 00:41:26,900
Please visit us at untether,
your life that Co you can also

768
00:41:26,900 --> 00:41:30,600
find us on Instagram at untether
your life, as well as on Apple

769
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,600
Spotify and other platforms by
searching for untether, your

770
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,600
life.
And if you did enjoy this

771
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,500
episode, please leave us a
review or share it with someone

772
00:41:38,500 --> 00:41:41,000
who might also benefit.
Thanks.

773
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,000
And until the next time we meet
stay untethered.