63: Vasavi Kumar - The Transformative Power of "Saying It Out Loud"

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What are power leakages?
How can we, as Jim Roan put it,

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stand guard at the door of our
mind to ensure that we retain

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control and prevent it from
getting sucked away by work,

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drama, family obligations, or
Instagram notifications?

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What can S Asians diagnosed with
bipolar disorder do to combat

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the societal and cultural stigma
against mental illness and arm

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themselves with strategies to
live their best lives?

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And.
How can we learn to quote, say

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it out loud, and better serve
ourselves?

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By empowering and listening to
voices in our core inner being

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that have been abandoned or
suppressed?

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Stay tuned as we touch on these
and many other topics on this

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week's episode of Untether Your
Life.

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Welcome to Untether Your Life, a
show that empowers you to own

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your own health and break free
of templates for managing

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physical and mental Wellness,
and looks at key issues

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impacting the South Asian
diaspora.

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I am your host, Nikhil Torsakar,
and I'm passionate about the

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power of conversation to
catalyze change.

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As a cultural group, we as S
Asians have typically fallen

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into the unwritten script that
dictates that we stay in our

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lane, get good grades and good
jobs, and conform to the tenets

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of the quote model minority
myth.

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This template never really
resonated with me, which is one

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of the reasons I launched the
Untethered Your Life podcast.

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It's also why I love connecting
with like minded change makers

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who are shattering the
conception of what quote making

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it as a South Asian really
means.

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This week's guest, Vasavi Kumar
is one of those individuals.

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Vasavi Kumar is often described
as the queen of saying it out

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loud, a first generation Indian
immigrant raised on Long Island,

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New York.
Vasavi has relentlessly searched

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to find her own voice, access
the freedom of her creative

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spirit, and help others along
the way out loud.

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When she was diagnosed with
bipolar disorder at the age of

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19, she made it her life's
purpose to understand how her

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mind works, starting with making
room to hear herself think.

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Her mission is to share
everything, the good, bad and

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ugly, in order to teach a more
mindful, practical and simple

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way of running every aspect of
your life.

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Through her Say It Out Loud
podcast workshops, keynote

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talks, and recently published
book, Vasavi has taught

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thousands of entrepreneurs,
creatives and artists from all

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walks of life how to move
through any situation by saying

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it out loud.
And with that, let's get

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untethered.
So Vasavi, obviously the the

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most exciting thing at this
point is the book.

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So tell us, tell us more about
the book.

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Say it out loud.
Yes.

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So Say It Out Loud is my first
book published by New World

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Library.
It's a book that will help you

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learn how to talk to yourself
out loud.

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There's an old saying that's
like, you can talk to yourself,

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just don't respond back.
Just don't talk back to the

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voices in your head.
And I'm here to shatter that.

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I want to normalize it.
You know, say it out loud.

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It's not just a book.
It's a movement.

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It's a call to action for
everyone to examine, question

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and prompt.
The different parts of

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themselves out loud to hear what
certain parts of you have been

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abandoned, have been disowned,
have been swept aside.

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Every single part of us has its
own unique expression and needs

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to express itself in order for
us to move in this world as the

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most fully integrated version of
our self.

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Right.
All the different parts of us.

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And you know, in my book I just,
I want to teach my reader.

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It's really about learning.
To be curious about the parts of

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yourself that have been
dismissed and silenced and every

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chapter in the book.
You don't even need a pen or

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paper.
You know, I like to say this is

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the alternative guide to
journaling.

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It's like verbal journaling.
It's for anyone who wants to

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reconnect with their voice and
feel confident in expressing who

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they are authentically in any
situation.

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And let's face it, maybe you've
read all the podcasts, you've

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listened to the audibles, you've
gone to the workshops.

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But you're ready for a fun,
fresh and simple approach,

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right?
You don't need to buy an

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expensive journal.
But what you do need to learn is

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how to talk to all the voices in
your head that have been holding

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you back.
And you can do that just by

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using your voice.
And so I'm saying out loud, the

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book is sort of the latest
iteration and the latest part of

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that platform, but the other
piece of that is the podcast.

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I was wondering if you could
tell me about that a little bit,

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like in terms of what's the
philosophy?

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Yes, you know, I always love
connecting with other

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podcasters, just finding out
sort of what their mission is

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with their specific platform.
And you know just in terms of

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any learnings you've had, you've
been what, three years now and

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doing the podcast, is that right
or?

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No, 2017, I would say even like
if you go on my YouTube, Vasavi

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Kumar, I I mean I've been on
YouTube since like 2011, 2012.

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I have been interviewing you
know self help, New York Times,

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self help authors when I had my
own radio show.

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So I was on actual radio like
terrestrial radio back in the

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day in an actual radio station
and then when I started my

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podcast that was in maybe. 2017
I started and it was actually

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called Being Human with Vasavi.
That was the name of my podcast

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for a very long time.
I changed the name of my podcast

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to say it out loud when I got my
book deal at the end of 2021.

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So that has been the evolution
of my podcast.

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And as I've evolved, the podcast
has evolved.

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You know, I like bringing people
on my podcast who are willing to

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say the thing that I think we
all need to hear but maybe are

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too afraid to hear.
So I just got off a great

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interview with my girlfriend,
Alexa Martinez.

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She goes by that sex chick.
That's her whole brand, that sex

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chick.
It's all about helping couples

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feel more connected with each
other and looking at their own

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sexual development.
I've never really had someone on

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my podcast to come on and talk
about sex or talk about

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relationship dynamics in this
way, in the way that she did.

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So my point in saying this is
that, you know, my podcast, Say

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It Out Loud is not just like,
oh, tell me about your past.

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Tell me about this.
Tell me about that.

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Like, no, I wanna look at, OK,
you've been through some stuff

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in your life.
How are you using what you've

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been through to now be of
contribution to the world?

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What are you saying out loud
that needs to be said?

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That's the vibe of my podcast.
I always say like when people

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ask me this question like, you
know, ask you someone who their

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favorite guest is, is kind of
like asking a parent.

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Who their favorite kid is.
I know it's a tough question,

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but.
Is there any guests you've had?

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On you can share that has been
like, very illuminating.

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To be honest, no.
I I know when I really enjoy a

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conversation with someone, it's
because they're not trying to

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perform and they're not trying
to say the right thing.

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I mean, the most fun
conversations that I've ever had

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with anyone on my podcast are,
well, This is why I handpicked

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my guests, right?
I don't just let anyone come on

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my show.
I make sure that I have a

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connection with this person or
I've studied their content and I

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like.
Their approach, I like their

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delivery and I believe that they
are a person of integrity, that

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they are who they say they are.
So that for me is really

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important and I need to see them
embody whatever it is that

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they're putting out there.
So my previous guest that I just

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had on my podcast, she is
someone who walks for talk.

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And it's very, that's very clear
when you meet her, when you see

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her, you just know it.
She's a living embodiment of

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what she puts out into the
world.

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So that's what I really look
for.

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But the most fun conversations
are when it's just, you know, me

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and I'm comfortable in myself
and this other person is

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comfortable in who they are and
we're just being ourselves with

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each other.
Talking about the thing that we

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love talking about.
The way I look at it is I feel

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like the podcast that I really
enjoy, the ones that resonate

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with me are the ones where it's
almost like you're eavesdropping

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on someone's conversation.
As opposed to someone coming on

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to try to pitch their latest.
I don't want to say book because

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obviously that that's that's
relevant here but you know just

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pitching just a walking
advertisement those definitely I

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hit skip on the on Apple
Podcasts right away to go to the

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next one.
So you and I are both

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podcasters.
The other there are a lot of

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elements in our backgrounds and
I think are very there's a lot

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of overlap which was one of the
reasons I.

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I was very excited when we
connected to have you on.

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The big thing is the the
cultural elements are being both

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of South Asian descent now.
I think it's a it's a very

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interesting time for our culture
just because I think South

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Asians are coming out more to
the front where you know there's

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more not just in commercial
round but also in entertainment.

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I didn't watch the Oscars but
there was some Indian musical

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that that got the best.
Yeah.

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Are, are.
Yeah.

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Are you into that?
Are we here to that I?

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Am not a huge Bollywood fan, but
I do.

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I did see RRR with my friend at
her house and you know, it's

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it's kind of like one of the
other movies Lagaan with Amir

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Khan, which is like British
ruling India.

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And I think because it was
stuffed in my face growing up,

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like the Bollywood movies, the
three hour long movies with the

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same exact plot.
I'm not into watching the

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movies, but I'm.
In the fields of Switzerland.

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Yes, exactly.
Like almost pretending to kiss

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and then kind of turning away.
It felt really good.

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I was at a sports bar watching
the Knicks game.

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Knicks and Lakers went while the
Oscars were on.

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And I remember like when I saw
these two Fellowgu men, and I'm

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we're from Madras, but my
parents were raised in

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Hyderabad, so they speak Telugu
too.

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It was really, it felt really
good to see 2 Indian men on

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screen.
It felt really good to feel

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like.
Man, what?

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I'm back in the day when we
would watch the Oscars all the

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time, there was number one that
looked like us there.

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So, like, this is, this is
really a beautiful thing and I'm

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excited for the next generation
of South Asian children who do

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not feel pressured to have to be
a doctor.

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Or to have to go do, like do
some engineering thing or this

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or something logical.
You know, like we come from a

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country of over a billion people
and we're obsessed with

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Bollywood in the movies.
But like, we also can do that.

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People who want, like they can
do that.

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You don't have to just be a
doctor to be worth something,

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you know?
Yeah, exactly.

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And you know, where I was going
with this is I just, I wanted to

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get your take on the South Asian
experience and kind of how it's

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evolved from your childhood
because from my understanding,

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as you grow up in a town where
Indians were definitely the

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minority where.
You're always being other, and

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so I'd like to hear more about
how that's evolved for you, you

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know, your experience of being a
South Asian.

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Yeah, my experience of being
South Asian when I was a kid, I

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felt like I constantly had to
defend who I was.

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Whether my mother would pack me
roti and, you know, aloo subji

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or something, or some samba
Rasam or some South in idli or

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whatever, that's, you know, with
chutney and like the kids would

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make fun of.
Did you have a Tiffin?

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Did you have a test?
That we did, yeah, we did

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something.
My mom would just wrap.

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That shouldn't foil, you know?
And I remember during Taco

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Tuesday, you know, my family's
Hindu Brahmin.

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Turn eat any meat at all.
We definitely don't eat cow.

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And I remember one of the girls,
she like out a spoon of Taco

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beef.
And she was like, dia, don't you

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want beef?
And so my childhood was very

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much like constantly having to
defend who I was defending, that

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my mother wore a bindi on her
forehead or that she her name

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was Geeta or that's, you know,
sometimes I'd come into school

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00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:40,500
with coconut oil in my hair
because my mother would braid my

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hair constantly defending who I
was.

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Things that I just could not
change.

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I cannot change that.
My name is Vasavi.

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I cannot change that.
My mother loves.

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00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:51,460
Cooking Indian food and nor do I
want to and my and I smell like

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00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:53,660
Curry.
I cannot change the fact that I

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am brown.
I cannot change that.

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I was always defending.
I'll be honest now, I mean, yes,

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I'm really happy for our
community, South Asian

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00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:02,380
community.
I think what I'm pissed off

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00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:05,020
about is that now the western
world is catching on to how

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00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:07,980
fucking amazing our culture.
Is a lot of appropriation.

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00:11:08,140 --> 00:11:09,700
A lot of appropriation.
You want it.

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00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,740
You want our yoga.
You want our turmeric.

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00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:14,310
You want our Chai.
You want this, You want the

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00:11:14,310 --> 00:11:16,630
mantras and the tantras and the
this.

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00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:19,110
And it's like this shit has been
around for thousands of years

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00:11:19,110 --> 00:11:23,030
and predictably so.
White people decide, oh, now we

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00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:24,910
approve of this because it helps
us.

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00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:27,150
So now we're going to capitalize
on this.

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00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:30,070
We're going to monetize culture
that's been around for

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00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:32,470
centuries, but now we think
it's.

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00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,160
No, white people want it.
We want it now.

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So no, but thank God, because
you know, there's a lot more

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highlight, there's a lot more
light being shined on Eastern

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00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,960
modalities.
But the fact is it's like I

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00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,440
don't think it's South Asians
get as much credit as we should

253
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,640
for a lot of the stuff that
people have just ripped off and

254
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,520
and and capitalized on.
So I hope if anything.

255
00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:54,380
That S Asians are seeing how
more visible we're getting and

256
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,780
are starting to take more
ownership of our culture and not

257
00:11:57,780 --> 00:12:01,140
let the West just rape our
culture, which is what we've

258
00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:04,580
allowed since the British.
We've allowed our country is a

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00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:07,900
group of passive individuals who
have allowed the British to take

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over.
And we're still.

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00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:11,890
You know, suffering from that.
And we got to learn to take our

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00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:13,810
power back as a South Asian
community.

263
00:12:13,810 --> 00:12:16,290
And I think the words IO, you
know, this is like

264
00:12:16,290 --> 00:12:20,530
appropriation, colonialism,
those kinds of those topics that

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00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:23,090
it is interesting how the script
is completely flipped, right,

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00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:26,650
Because we were the object of
derision for so many years for a

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00:12:26,650 --> 00:12:29,330
lot of those things you were
talking about, like accents, you

268
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:30,890
know, like I'll pull on The
Simpsons.

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00:12:31,090 --> 00:12:33,970
We're talking about depictions
of, I always say, like

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00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:37,290
depictions of South Asians in
the media or in entertainment.

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00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,810
For years, you know it's great
to have people like Hassan

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00:12:39,810 --> 00:12:42,890
Minhaj and Aziz Ansari out
there, but for you know because

273
00:12:42,890 --> 00:12:45,810
growing up we just had like
approved from The Simpsons, you

274
00:12:45,810 --> 00:12:49,490
know so but there is a darker
side to that part of the pun,

275
00:12:49,490 --> 00:12:52,330
but there there is a darker side
to that in that you know there

276
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:55,970
is a lot of sort of taking
credit and Co opting a lot of

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00:12:55,970 --> 00:12:59,290
these innovations that have been
part of our culture for so long.

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00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,370
And so that's really one of the
missions of our podcast and our

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00:13:02,370 --> 00:13:05,930
platform is really to reclaim
that not necessarily in like an

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00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:09,070
adversarial or.
Confrontational way, but just

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00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:12,750
really sort of, you know, put
our imprint back on culture at

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00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,830
large.
And so, you know, obviously the

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00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:17,670
cultural aspect, that's one
thing that there's a common

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00:13:17,670 --> 00:13:19,790
thread.
But the other thing that I

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00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:23,590
really find refreshing, Vasavi,
is how you talk about your

286
00:13:23,590 --> 00:13:26,550
journey with mental health.
There's a book you cited in your

287
00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:29,070
book called the, I think it's
called The Dow of Bipolar.

288
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:32,830
That sounds very interesting and
it's a very unique way of

289
00:13:32,830 --> 00:13:35,750
capturing this disorder because
you know, as as you and I have

290
00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:37,610
talked.
Is something that I was

291
00:13:37,610 --> 00:13:41,170
diagnosed with later in life.
But the diagnosis has helped me

292
00:13:41,410 --> 00:13:45,090
to sort of have a roadmap, and I
don't see it as like a death

293
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,890
sentence per se, or like putting
me in a box.

294
00:13:47,890 --> 00:13:51,930
I feel like it's giving me some
type of perspective and some

295
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:55,220
type of.
Tools to manage this heroin

296
00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:57,620
right?
You could be very disorienting

297
00:13:57,620 --> 00:14:00,140
disorder to contend with, but
this is something I would love

298
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:03,580
for you to talk to people who
are listening, who are of South

299
00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:06,660
Asian descent, who might be
either struggling themselves

300
00:14:06,660 --> 00:14:09,670
with bipolar disorder.
Or have a loved one if you could

301
00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:12,150
shed a little bit of light on on
your experience with the

302
00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:14,870
disorder.
Yeah, once I was diagnosed with

303
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:18,830
this label, with this disorder.
Um, I hate calling it a disorder

304
00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:21,710
and I hate calling it an illness
because I'm, I feel like one of

305
00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:23,150
the healthiest people that I
know.

306
00:14:23,150 --> 00:14:25,510
I feel like I'm more in charge
of my mind than the average

307
00:14:25,510 --> 00:14:27,630
person.
And and that's why first thing

308
00:14:27,630 --> 00:14:30,590
is I look at my diagnosis as the
greatest gift that I've ever

309
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:32,790
been given.
Because of how God made me.

310
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:36,230
I am a very naturally curious
person and I am the type of

311
00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:40,470
person that does not let.
Anything get in her way from

312
00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:42,550
whatever it is that I want to
do.

313
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:46,590
So when I was diagnosed with
bipolar disorder when I was 19,

314
00:14:46,590 --> 00:14:49,590
I addressed it like I address
everything else in my life is

315
00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:51,270
like, oh, we got a problem,
let's fix it.

316
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:53,190
That's it.
We don't sit and wallow in our

317
00:14:53,190 --> 00:14:54,710
pain.
We don't sit and wallow in our

318
00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:56,470
suffering.
While I think there's a time and

319
00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:58,230
a place to sit and feel your
feelings.

320
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:01,550
Yes, but I could have let that
diagnosis and that label really

321
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,270
define me.
And I did for a little bit, you

322
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,430
know, because I family didn't
know how to deal with it.

323
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:07,870
I come from a family of, you
know, my uncle killed himself,

324
00:15:07,870 --> 00:15:09,270
my father.
His brother killed himself.

325
00:15:09,270 --> 00:15:11,750
And we've come from a history of
mental health challenges in our

326
00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:13,830
family.
What I did after I got diagnosed

327
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:16,510
is that I went and learned about
it because my mother instilled

328
00:15:16,510 --> 00:15:18,070
education and knowledge in our
head.

329
00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:22,470
So I treated my diagnosis with
the same level of curiosity and

330
00:15:22,470 --> 00:15:24,270
hunger that I do.
Is like, oh, you're gonna tell

331
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,830
me my mind is ill?
OK, well, I'm gonna fix it.

332
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,240
I'm gonna heal it.
And that's what my whole life

333
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,440
has been about past 20 years is
understanding my mind,

334
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:36,760
organizing my mind, making peace
with all the voices in my head,

335
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:40,600
and really having my mind be a
peaceful place and a creative

336
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,200
space and me being the
environment.

337
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:47,040
To thrive like your mind has to
be conducive for creativity.

338
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,720
Your body has to be conducive
for creativity.

339
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:52,440
I wouldn't have been able to
write a book if I did not have

340
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,760
the ability to organize my mind
and my thoughts.

341
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,040
So what I would say to anyone in
the South Asian.

342
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,640
Community is Do not expect
anyone to understand your

343
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,960
journey.
Do not, like, go and talk to

344
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,600
your parents about this.
If they're, like, not gonna get

345
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,760
help, they're just like, telling
you to take meds.

346
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,720
They're not trying to understand
themselves and they're not

347
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,000
trying to actually get the help
they need to support you.

348
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,960
So you really need to find a
community.

349
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,960
You need to be working with a
therapist or someone, because if

350
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,680
you're on medication, you're
going to a psychiatrist for

351
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,160
that.
A psychiatrist job is not to

352
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,360
help you with your emotions.
A psychiatrist asks you how

353
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,120
you're doing and changes your
levels based on what you tell

354
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,000
them.
Right.

355
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,920
But our feelings change, like
the weather.

356
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,960
So who do you talk to?
You know, who do you talk to?

357
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,120
You got to talk to your
therapist.

358
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,720
You got to talk to someone every
week.

359
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,480
You got to talk to someone to
process your emotions, your

360
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,160
psychiatrists there to adjust
the levels of your medication.

361
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,560
You're just a Guinea pig in all
of it.

362
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,000
I'm going to be straight up.
So I don't take medication right

363
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,280
now.
If this season of my life, I

364
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,600
don't take medication.
I've been on plenty of

365
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,280
medication in my life since the
age of 19.

366
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,200
I'm in a season now where I do
not take medication.

367
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,760
I use other ways to keep my mind
organized to still.

368
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,520
Calm at peace.
Slow down any intrusive

369
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,200
thoughts.
Impulsivity, I There are lots of

370
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:04,319
things that I do to help myself
and there's nothing wrong with

371
00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:06,079
getting on medication.
So I want to say this too.

372
00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:09,319
If you've gotten diagnosed and
you're like, oh, I'm, I'm so

373
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,000
weak.
If I take medication, stop

374
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,680
saying shit like that.
First of all, it's OK to take a

375
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,520
little something to turn the
volume down so that you can

376
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,680
recalibrate and get back to a
sense of self, whatever that

377
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,119
looks like for you.
So that's just, you know, get

378
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,180
the help.
Don't be afraid to get up, get

379
00:17:25,180 --> 00:17:27,579
all the help, like immerse
yourself into it.

380
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:30,060
I went to a goddamn bookstore to
went to the mental health

381
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:32,340
section and looked at every
single book I possibly could.

382
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:35,180
I was soon to be dating my my.
Well, he's now my exhusband.

383
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,540
But I remember when we first
started dating, I gave him

384
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:40,340
articles on bipolar disorder.
I gave him articles on how to

385
00:17:40,340 --> 00:17:43,780
talk to somebody, what not to
say, what not to say to someone

386
00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:45,820
say to someone we met who's been
diagnosed.

387
00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:47,260
Hey, did you forget to take your
pills today?

388
00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:48,940
You don't say stuff like that,
right?

389
00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:50,540
But these are things that people
just don't know.

390
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,960
They just don't know.
And so it is your job as the

391
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,000
person who has been diagnosed.
Like take responsibility for

392
00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:01,600
your diagnosis, Be an informed
patient, take responsibility for

393
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,800
your mind and your internal
state.

394
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,240
Get on 100% and that that way
aligned with the mission of our

395
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:10,560
podcast also which is owning
your own health because I think

396
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,400
as patients or as you know as
healthcare consumers, I guess

397
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,760
you could call it a lot of times
there is this tendency to slip

398
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:20,360
into passive mode where we go in
to see our doctors.

399
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:23,970
And we think oh they've gotten,
they've had years of training

400
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:27,570
and so their word is gospel.
And a lot of times to your point

401
00:18:27,570 --> 00:18:30,690
earlier vos we which is just
that these doctors they're not

402
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:33,530
necessarily there to help us get
better.

403
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:36,930
A lot of times it's
unfortunately this is a darker

404
00:18:36,930 --> 00:18:39,490
side of healthcare.
A lot of times their incentives

405
00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:42,570
are tied to different things
like how much of a certain

406
00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:46,250
medication they're shelling out
if there's a medication that

407
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:49,430
they're incentive to provide.
They're prescribed, you know,

408
00:18:49,430 --> 00:18:51,830
and do they really care if it
causes side effects?

409
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:53,830
And obviously there are good
doctors out there.

410
00:18:53,830 --> 00:18:57,310
And by and large, yeah, I would
say they're well-intentioned.

411
00:18:57,390 --> 00:19:00,350
It's a broken system.
It's not the way I say it is.

412
00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:04,030
It's not a health care system.
It's a sick care system, you

413
00:19:04,030 --> 00:19:06,200
know, with.
The philosophy is just it's not

414
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,280
about getting you better, it's
about selling you more drugs.

415
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,400
And one of the things that I
would love to hear more about is

416
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,320
sounds like you have really done
a good job of owning your own

417
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,200
health.
Because as you said, medication

418
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,560
definitely does have its purpose
and for people who are going

419
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,680
through a very challenging time,
it's a must.

420
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,560
I mean for me like definitely
medication has been very

421
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,640
beneficial.
But this is another thing we

422
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:32,040
talked about here is finding
alternative modalities to

423
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,200
maintain your mental health and
it sounds like.

424
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,240
You've done this in a couple
different forms, so one of them

425
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:41,200
is, if you could talk a little
bit more is your journey with

426
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,080
Ayurveda and Ayurvedic.
That's.

427
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,840
Not a huge part of my journey.
I mean, I went to India for a

428
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,800
little bit to to study Ayurveda
cooking after culinary school.

429
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,000
It's not a huge part of my life.
I mean, I think.

430
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,480
The main principle of Ayurveda
is like increases like it's so

431
00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:00,360
basically like if you're hot and
you eat spicy food, you're going

432
00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:02,480
to get hotter, right.
That's the principle.

433
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,360
I it's like do if you do more of
how you're feeling, it's gonna

434
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,800
just exacerbate it.
So I think for Ayurveda, the

435
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,960
thing that I got got the most
and you know I did write a book

436
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,920
on it's called stop dieting
Start living and it's on Amazon

437
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,120
and I wrote this like Amazon
Ayurveda Kindle book.

438
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,960
But what I really love about
Ayurveda is the holistic view.

439
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,900
Of the individual.
So you know, if you've been

440
00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:28,820
diagnosed with a mental illness,
that is a imbalance of Vata

441
00:20:28,820 --> 00:20:32,500
because Vata is wind Vata's air.
And that means your mind is a

442
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,300
little unstable, right.
So what?

443
00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:37,020
It's a little airy fairy, right?
So these are for my people that

444
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:38,980
are scattered, they're very
disorganized.

445
00:20:38,980 --> 00:20:41,140
You call yourself creative, but
you can't even get yourself to

446
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,780
sit down to write a paragraph,
right?

447
00:20:42,780 --> 00:20:45,760
So you need to.
You need to understand that any

448
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,640
disease, illness of the mind is
all I will say about it because

449
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,280
I don't want to.
I want, I like to stay in my

450
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,000
lane.
My topic is on selftalk.

451
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,640
I'm not an Ayurvedic expert.
I will say that for me, what I

452
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:59,080
have learned is that to approach
myself as a whole person, taking

453
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:03,640
a medication to stabilize my
mood, but then going to sleep at

454
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,720
3:00 o'clock in the morning,
eating shitty food, hanging out

455
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,040
with people who suck.
Honestly, just like what is the

456
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,520
point of taking that pill?
So I don't listen.

457
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,560
You want to take a pill, that's
fine.

458
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,920
But you got to do all the other
stuff to support that pill.

459
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,280
I don't take the pill and I do
all the things.

460
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,680
It is actually harder for me
because I do not have a pill.

461
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,440
I'm doing everything.
But I for me, in this season of

462
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,360
my life, I would rather do that,
then take a pill and do all the

463
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:29,480
stuff.
Like, I don't know, it's just I

464
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,760
listen.
What if I feel that down the

465
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,560
road I want to take medication?
I have no problem doing that.

466
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,520
I have no problem getting on
meds.

467
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,240
I have thought about it this
year to get on meds.

468
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:43,070
Because I noticed a few of my
intrusive thoughts getting

469
00:21:43,070 --> 00:21:46,870
louder and louder and louder.
And I found that when I said out

470
00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:50,950
loud to a safe person, to my
therapist, to a friend, what

471
00:21:50,950 --> 00:21:53,630
these thoughts were saying to me
and they just listened, it

472
00:21:53,630 --> 00:21:55,870
actually quieted that part of my
brain down.

473
00:21:55,990 --> 00:21:58,470
And so it really does help when
we say out loud how we're

474
00:21:58,470 --> 00:21:59,550
feeling.
That's so true.

475
00:21:59,590 --> 00:22:02,950
You started touching on this a
little bit which is self talk.

476
00:22:03,070 --> 00:22:04,830
I would, I would love to hear
more about some if you could

477
00:22:04,830 --> 00:22:07,400
talk about.
Just the importance of selftalk

478
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:11,240
and maybe like for people who
are struggling with this and how

479
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,200
they tend to ruminate and beat
themselves up, maybe if there's

480
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,520
some guidance you can give and
and being more gentle to that

481
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,240
inner child and being better
about selftalk self dialogue.

482
00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:22,170
Absolutely.
So I'm going to say one thing.

483
00:22:22,290 --> 00:22:25,250
I'm here to normalize that.
Saying your thoughts and words

484
00:22:25,250 --> 00:22:28,730
out loud really do have the
power to transform your life,

485
00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:31,450
OK.
Saying your thoughts, your words

486
00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:34,690
out loud, when you're actually
hearing yourself, the hearing

487
00:22:34,690 --> 00:22:36,330
your voice has the power to
guide you.

488
00:22:36,330 --> 00:22:37,810
OK.
So, so think about when you're

489
00:22:37,810 --> 00:22:40,810
up against a challenge, right,
or a difficult decision or even,

490
00:22:40,810 --> 00:22:43,330
you know your own thoughts and
scenarios in your head that you

491
00:22:43,330 --> 00:22:47,010
play over and over again, Your
natural instinct might be to

492
00:22:47,010 --> 00:22:49,970
shut down or avoid or say, I'll
figure this out later or I'm

493
00:22:49,970 --> 00:22:51,210
just not even going to.
Think about it.

494
00:22:51,210 --> 00:22:53,970
Or you might feel overwhelmed by
the situation at hand, and then

495
00:22:53,970 --> 00:22:55,530
you know all logic goes out the
window.

496
00:22:55,530 --> 00:22:57,650
You start to spiral.
And during those challenging,

497
00:22:57,650 --> 00:23:01,050
stressful times, this is where
you get to notice how you speak

498
00:23:01,050 --> 00:23:04,290
to yourself, right?
But I'm inviting my reader and

499
00:23:04,290 --> 00:23:08,290
my listener right now to talk to
yourself out loud and play with

500
00:23:08,290 --> 00:23:11,020
the sound of your voice.
Play with the tone, Play with

501
00:23:11,020 --> 00:23:14,940
the inflection, the volume, the
pitch and the texture of your

502
00:23:14,940 --> 00:23:17,260
voice.
Because your voice can help

503
00:23:17,260 --> 00:23:19,220
soothe you in times of stress,
right?

504
00:23:19,220 --> 00:23:22,500
So talking to yourself out loud,
if you are five areas of your

505
00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:24,260
life, we're talking out loud to
yourself.

506
00:23:24,260 --> 00:23:27,220
We'll help you Problem solving.
You might ask yourself, all

507
00:23:27,220 --> 00:23:29,460
right, what is my top priority
for me today?

508
00:23:30,100 --> 00:23:31,380
Problem solving?
Say that out loud.

509
00:23:31,380 --> 00:23:33,140
You know when you get
overwhelmed instead of being

510
00:23:33,140 --> 00:23:35,100
overwhelmed.
Can help you talking to yourself

511
00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:37,500
out loud, Okay what is my top
priority for me today.

512
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:40,100
And then respond back or write
it down what you need to do.

513
00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:43,100
Talking to yourself out loud
helps you increase your focus.

514
00:23:43,180 --> 00:23:45,300
So you might want to say to
yourself, All right, let's get

515
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,380
to work, Okay.
You get to play with your voice

516
00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:50,460
in that way to help you increase
your focus, reducing stress.

517
00:23:50,660 --> 00:23:53,820
This will help with the that
stressed out sad in her child

518
00:23:53,820 --> 00:23:56,700
maybe who's overwhelmed you
might say you're going to be

519
00:23:56,700 --> 00:24:01,340
okay, I'm here, you're safe.
You see how I changed my tone.

520
00:24:01,950 --> 00:24:04,270
You see how I change my volume
when I when I want to reduce

521
00:24:04,270 --> 00:24:05,870
stress.
I'm not going to say get out of

522
00:24:05,870 --> 00:24:07,950
your stress.
You're going to talk to yourself

523
00:24:07,950 --> 00:24:10,030
in a calmer way.
It also helps you with

524
00:24:10,070 --> 00:24:11,950
motivation, right?
You know, just think about the

525
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,710
coach on the football field like
you got this.

526
00:24:13,950 --> 00:24:16,390
You have what it takes.
But like the way I sound may

527
00:24:16,390 --> 00:24:18,190
sound very different than the
way you sound, but you get to

528
00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:20,630
play with your voice and figure
out what will work for you.

529
00:24:20,630 --> 00:24:22,110
And all of this should be said
out loud.

530
00:24:22,150 --> 00:24:23,390
We don't keep the shit in our
head.

531
00:24:23,390 --> 00:24:26,670
We say it out loud because that
is what I'm postulating.

532
00:24:26,670 --> 00:24:30,110
Is that the actual vibration and
the sound of your voice?

533
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:32,950
Can help soothe you.
It can help motivate you.

534
00:24:32,950 --> 00:24:36,470
It can help focus you.
And then lastly, you know, using

535
00:24:36,470 --> 00:24:39,390
your voice for just a personal
check in like a friend.

536
00:24:39,870 --> 00:24:42,030
Hey, you know, saying to
yourself, hey Nikhil, how are we

537
00:24:42,030 --> 00:24:43,950
feeling today?
How are we feeling this morning?

538
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:45,750
People think that's weird.
But you know what?

539
00:24:46,030 --> 00:24:47,910
For those people out there who
think they're, you know, I'm

540
00:24:47,910 --> 00:24:49,670
lonely, I don't have anyone to
talk to, you listen.

541
00:24:49,670 --> 00:24:51,430
When you talk to yourself out
loud, at least you know

542
00:24:51,430 --> 00:24:53,870
someone's listening.
So you got to understand that

543
00:24:53,870 --> 00:24:56,430
the voice that you use for each
of these scenarios are going to

544
00:24:56,430 --> 00:24:58,230
vary, right?
The sound of your voice have,

545
00:24:58,230 --> 00:24:59,830
like I said, has the power to
calm you.

546
00:24:59,830 --> 00:25:01,630
It has the power.
To reduce your nerves, it has

547
00:25:01,630 --> 00:25:04,790
the power to motivate you to
take action where you might

548
00:25:04,790 --> 00:25:08,630
normally be paralyzed by fear.
So once again, rather when

549
00:25:08,630 --> 00:25:11,390
you're confronted with something
uncomfortable, rather than avoid

550
00:25:11,390 --> 00:25:14,430
it, run from it, lie about it,
or beat ourselves up.

551
00:25:14,470 --> 00:25:17,230
We can actually talk to
ourselves, talk ourselves

552
00:25:17,310 --> 00:25:21,190
through the situation by
accessing different parts of us,

553
00:25:21,350 --> 00:25:24,470
the more wise and intuitive and
logical parts of us.

554
00:25:24,470 --> 00:25:27,790
That's so important and I think
that in this hyper notified

555
00:25:27,790 --> 00:25:30,420
world that we live in.
We tend to lose focus of that

556
00:25:30,420 --> 00:25:33,340
because I'm going to ask this
question about use the term that

557
00:25:33,340 --> 00:25:35,260
you use in your book, which is
power leakages.

558
00:25:35,540 --> 00:25:38,580
I think there's a lot of power
leakages that we are just

559
00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:41,220
completely oblivious to because
they're so innocuous.

560
00:25:41,220 --> 00:25:44,820
You know, when we were waiting
for a bus or the train or

561
00:25:44,820 --> 00:25:47,460
whatever, we hop on our phone
and we just scroll through

562
00:25:47,460 --> 00:25:51,980
Instagram mindlessly and we just
give a lot of that power up

563
00:25:52,340 --> 00:25:55,820
where, you know, it's it's so
much energy that we could be

564
00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:59,250
diverting to thinking.
Yeah, like, like you said, just

565
00:25:59,290 --> 00:26:02,770
devoting that energy to being
kind to ourselves and just

566
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:05,490
tuning out the noise.
But instead, you know, because

567
00:26:05,490 --> 00:26:08,610
it seems so innocuous, we tend
to just grab our phone and

568
00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:11,130
start, you know, looking for the
latest mindless update.

569
00:26:11,210 --> 00:26:14,690
So that was a concept that I
found very interesting because

570
00:26:14,690 --> 00:26:17,170
it's something, it's one of
those things where you're aware

571
00:26:17,170 --> 00:26:20,410
of it, but when someone puts a
name on it, it becomes even more

572
00:26:20,410 --> 00:26:22,770
powerful and it's something to
have awareness of.

573
00:26:23,170 --> 00:26:25,490
So, yeah, if you could talk a
little bit more about that

574
00:26:25,490 --> 00:26:28,730
concept of our leakages.
Yeah, I love the concept of

575
00:26:28,730 --> 00:26:31,410
power leakages.
It's really about looking at the

576
00:26:31,410 --> 00:26:34,330
holes in your life, right?
Like you're like Swiss cheese

577
00:26:34,330 --> 00:26:36,130
right now.
And of course we want to have

578
00:26:36,130 --> 00:26:38,570
spaciousness and fluidity in our
life, but you don't want to leak

579
00:26:38,570 --> 00:26:40,250
power.
And so one of the quickest ways.

580
00:26:40,710 --> 00:26:43,950
To hole up those power leakages
is to have boundaries, is to

581
00:26:43,950 --> 00:26:46,150
have boundaries not only with
others but with yourself.

582
00:26:46,150 --> 00:26:48,790
Like, listen, when I'm worried,
when I'm worrying about

583
00:26:48,790 --> 00:26:52,150
something right, I do not just
allow myself to go down that

584
00:26:52,150 --> 00:26:54,230
hole.
I actually will say, I'll set a

585
00:26:54,230 --> 00:26:58,470
timer and I'll say OK, Voss, let
us worry for 15 minutes.

586
00:26:58,820 --> 00:27:01,260
We're going to worry for 15
minutes about this thing.

587
00:27:01,260 --> 00:27:03,020
We're going to worry about it as
much as we want.

588
00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:05,100
We're going to think about all
the worst case scenarios.

589
00:27:05,180 --> 00:27:08,020
We're going to just focus in on
this one issue and then we're

590
00:27:08,020 --> 00:27:10,060
going to be done with it.
And that's what I do.

591
00:27:10,340 --> 00:27:12,780
That is one way that I stopped
leaking power.

592
00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:15,860
I don't want to lie to myself
and act like, oh, I'm not

593
00:27:15,860 --> 00:27:19,020
worried about this, but if I'm
going to worry about something,

594
00:27:19,140 --> 00:27:21,980
I'm going to be intentional
about my time towards it, right?

595
00:27:22,650 --> 00:27:27,090
That's how we leak power.
Is that this thing out there or

596
00:27:27,090 --> 00:27:29,930
in our head, is now controlling
us.

597
00:27:29,970 --> 00:27:33,930
I am no longer in control of my
own mind and where my mind is

598
00:27:33,930 --> 00:27:35,730
focused on and what I'm looking
at.

599
00:27:35,930 --> 00:27:39,090
So we want to get back in the
driver's seat of our mind.

600
00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:40,650
We want.
We do not want our mind to

601
00:27:40,650 --> 00:27:42,850
control us.
We want to control our mind.

602
00:27:43,010 --> 00:27:46,450
We need to guide our mind
towards what we want, which is

603
00:27:46,450 --> 00:27:49,010
why we need to have goals.
We need to have an anchor.

604
00:27:49,010 --> 00:27:51,770
We need to have a North Star.
What are you even doing?

605
00:27:51,810 --> 00:27:53,770
What are you?
Working towards So when I get on

606
00:27:53,770 --> 00:27:55,930
my phone, I am not scrolling
intentionally.

607
00:27:55,930 --> 00:27:59,130
I am responding to emails.
I am responding to Dms.

608
00:27:59,370 --> 00:28:02,890
I am making collaboration posts.
I'm reaching out to someone to

609
00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:04,770
be like, oh cool, I'd love to be
on your podcast.

610
00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:06,930
I'm not.
I don't care about what other

611
00:28:06,930 --> 00:28:10,250
people are putting out there
because I am a creator.

612
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,000
Why?
I am not a consumer.

613
00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:14,400
And I and yes, there's a time
and a place to consume.

614
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,720
Of course I enjoy my movies.
Of course I enjoy this.

615
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,480
But like, create first, be a
creator.

616
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,520
Do not live in consumption
energy.

617
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,800
Because consumption energy is
one of the easiest ways for you

618
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,840
to start leaking power.
Because now you're leaning back.

619
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,640
You're just you're just
consuming whatever's being

620
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,880
thrown at you.
There's no power in that.

621
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:36,620
Whether you are the one creating
the content, you are the 1

622
00:28:36,620 --> 00:28:38,780
putting it out there.
I'm not leaking power when I'm

623
00:28:38,780 --> 00:28:40,420
doing that.
I'm in my power when I'm

624
00:28:40,420 --> 00:28:42,020
creating content.
I'm putting it out there.

625
00:28:42,020 --> 00:28:44,580
But these are just some of the
ways that we leak power or you

626
00:28:44,660 --> 00:28:48,540
someone's calling you, you're in
the middle of work and you pick

627
00:28:48,540 --> 00:28:50,060
up.
Why are you doing that?

628
00:28:50,570 --> 00:28:51,810
Put your phone on Do not
disturb.

629
00:28:51,810 --> 00:28:55,250
Put your phone in another room.
Like where are you leaking

630
00:28:55,250 --> 00:28:57,330
power?
And it's probably where you are

631
00:28:57,330 --> 00:29:00,930
not taking full responsibility
for your experience, right?

632
00:29:00,930 --> 00:29:02,850
So you're not a victim to your
circumstances.

633
00:29:02,890 --> 00:29:05,610
My phone is in another room.
It's actually downstairs on my

634
00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:09,130
kitchen counter charging on Do
Not Disturb when I'm upstairs

635
00:29:09,130 --> 00:29:10,730
sleeping.
So that way nothing is.

636
00:29:11,170 --> 00:29:13,170
I don't leak my power.
I'm not like all my phone woke

637
00:29:13,170 --> 00:29:14,250
me up.
No, no, it didn't.

638
00:29:14,770 --> 00:29:17,770
I'm in charge of that, right?
So yeah, this is about looking

639
00:29:17,770 --> 00:29:20,410
at your life where you feel
powerless and asking yourself,

640
00:29:20,410 --> 00:29:22,770
how do I get my power back?
And it's usually something that

641
00:29:22,770 --> 00:29:25,730
you need to say or do or stop
saying or stop doing.

642
00:29:25,770 --> 00:29:28,010
Every situation is different.
It's interesting there was a

643
00:29:28,010 --> 00:29:29,850
book.
It's more on the technology

644
00:29:29,850 --> 00:29:32,370
side, but there's this
interesting concept that I came

645
00:29:32,370 --> 00:29:35,170
across.
The phone is definitely I think

646
00:29:35,170 --> 00:29:39,050
the symbol of the loss of power
or well, let me let me say that

647
00:29:39,050 --> 00:29:42,900
again, the phone is.
It's it's like a war shack test,

648
00:29:42,900 --> 00:29:45,740
I guess you could say, right?
Because it depends on how we

649
00:29:45,740 --> 00:29:48,740
relate to it because there are a
lot of people present, company

650
00:29:48,740 --> 00:29:51,300
included, who say, oh, you know,
I'm a slave to my phone.

651
00:29:51,300 --> 00:29:54,660
I'm a victim of constantly on
social media or just mindlessly

652
00:29:54,660 --> 00:29:57,460
scrolling.
However, in this book they talk

653
00:29:57,460 --> 00:30:01,460
about thinking about your phone
as the relationship that you

654
00:30:01,460 --> 00:30:04,220
have with a family or friend.
And so if you think about it,

655
00:30:04,220 --> 00:30:07,340
it's like next time you go to
refresh your feed or your e-mail

656
00:30:07,340 --> 00:30:10,140
or whatever, think about that,
your phone like that

657
00:30:10,140 --> 00:30:12,560
relationship.
Think about a friend.

658
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,840
Would you constantly tap them on
the shoulder?

659
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,120
Would you constantly call them
up to say, hey, what's the

660
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,040
weather?
Hey, what's this?

661
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,120
Or if the phone is charging like
you're doing right now, your

662
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,720
phone's downstairs charging if
you have a loved one.

663
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,560
Or would you constantly wake
them up to just ask them

664
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:28,720
something in question?
It's all about perspective.

665
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:31,200
It's all about just stepping
back and.

666
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:35,080
Reframing it and and so I think
that we just have to be more

667
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:38,240
conscious of it, not be so
passive and not let that power

668
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,240
leak out.
And I think another thing that

669
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,480
you talk about in your book, in
addition power leakage is, is

670
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,480
this a concept that I really
struggle with?

671
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,400
Because it seems so obvious but
it's one of the most

672
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:51,520
misunderstood and hotly debated
topics you know we had.

673
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,680
A guest, obviously, you know,
Jason Goldberg talked about

674
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,800
intuition, talking about
listening to your intuition when

675
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,840
it's drunk, that type of thing.
I'd love to hear more about

676
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,520
your, you know, your take on
intuition and sort of how people

677
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:09,160
can harness their intuition and
not let it lead them astray, but

678
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,520
get laid them to the to the
right decisions.

679
00:31:12,010 --> 00:31:15,650
I think my our intuition for me,
it's the voice of my conscience.

680
00:31:15,690 --> 00:31:18,330
It's the voice of God.
It's the voice that, you know,

681
00:31:18,330 --> 00:31:20,970
you're not always going to feel
comfortable making that

682
00:31:20,970 --> 00:31:23,770
decision, but it's usually the
one that's the best for you and

683
00:31:23,770 --> 00:31:27,330
it is the one that is in service
of the next evolution for who

684
00:31:27,330 --> 00:31:29,050
you are.
So I have a very strong

685
00:31:29,050 --> 00:31:31,210
relationship to God.
Nothing comes before that.

686
00:31:31,210 --> 00:31:32,730
That is the only voice I care
about.

687
00:31:32,730 --> 00:31:35,050
I don't care if you're my
mother, my father, my sister.

688
00:31:35,210 --> 00:31:38,050
Nothing can trump my my
relationship to God and the

689
00:31:38,050 --> 00:31:40,360
voice within.
I call my voice of God the voice

690
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,840
of intuition because my voice of
intuition is always right.

691
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,760
It always wants both best for me
and it is in service of my

692
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,120
growth.
That's it.

693
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,520
So most people are not tapped
into their intuition because,

694
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,520
number one, they haven't learned
how to talk to and understand

695
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,800
all the conflicting voices in
their head, and they don't know

696
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,360
how to separate the voices of
everyone else and the voices of

697
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,640
their own voice, so they can't
even access their intuition.

698
00:32:04,180 --> 00:32:06,540
They can't even access it
because it's loud.

699
00:32:06,820 --> 00:32:10,940
How can you access your
intuition if it's loud in your

700
00:32:10,940 --> 00:32:13,620
mind, if you're scattered, if
you're chaotic, if you have

701
00:32:13,620 --> 00:32:16,820
drama in your life all the time,
your intuition will try to

702
00:32:16,820 --> 00:32:19,460
whisper to you and it will speak
to you sometimes.

703
00:32:19,460 --> 00:32:21,460
Like, hey, are you really sure
you should be doing that?

704
00:32:21,460 --> 00:32:22,860
Like, is that really a good
idea?

705
00:32:23,310 --> 00:32:25,390
But you're chewing your chaos
that you don't even hear it.

706
00:32:25,470 --> 00:32:29,350
So talking to yourself,
responding back to yourself out

707
00:32:29,350 --> 00:32:32,510
loud, clearing those voices out
of your head will help you get

708
00:32:32,670 --> 00:32:34,830
more connected, deeply connected
to your intuition.

709
00:32:34,870 --> 00:32:36,790
Because that's our gut.
It's in our gut.

710
00:32:36,790 --> 00:32:39,030
You know, I always just think
like, if you are like a Clear

711
00:32:39,430 --> 00:32:42,710
Channel, like you're a tube,
like a quite like in a bathtub.

712
00:32:43,130 --> 00:32:45,810
You know, and you want the water
to move through freely, but it's

713
00:32:45,810 --> 00:32:48,090
clumped with all this hair,
right?

714
00:32:48,090 --> 00:32:51,530
How can the water move freely?
How can your voice of intuition,

715
00:32:51,530 --> 00:32:54,690
How can your creativity, How can
the voice of God, all that work,

716
00:32:54,730 --> 00:32:57,530
move through you If you're
clogged, if you are clogged, If

717
00:32:57,530 --> 00:33:00,170
you have tons of voices in your
head telling you who you should

718
00:33:00,170 --> 00:33:01,370
and shouldn't be?
Or should I do this?

719
00:33:01,370 --> 00:33:03,330
Should I do that?
It's like, I don't know.

720
00:33:03,330 --> 00:33:05,250
Should you?
I mean, you're a sovereign

721
00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:06,690
being.
Use your mind.

722
00:33:06,690 --> 00:33:09,730
You know when we say think for
yourself, We haven't been taught

723
00:33:09,730 --> 00:33:11,730
how to think for ourselves.
We haven't.

724
00:33:12,030 --> 00:33:14,590
It's nobody's fault except,
like, that's just just the way

725
00:33:14,590 --> 00:33:15,790
it is, right?
Like, it's.

726
00:33:15,790 --> 00:33:18,510
I don't want to blame anybody.
But we actually have not been

727
00:33:18,510 --> 00:33:20,910
taught how to think.
How you have been taught how to

728
00:33:20,910 --> 00:33:23,190
think has been passed down by
people who also don't know how

729
00:33:23,190 --> 00:33:25,270
to think.
So I'm teaching you how to think

730
00:33:25,270 --> 00:33:27,670
because I have to learn and I
like the way that I think.

731
00:33:28,270 --> 00:33:29,510
I like the way.
Yeah.

732
00:33:29,670 --> 00:33:33,630
And what are some activities I
guess you could recommend to try

733
00:33:33,630 --> 00:33:37,830
to get in better touch with your
intuition and unclogging the

734
00:33:38,030 --> 00:33:40,950
clumps of hair and the sink of
your intuition in your in your

735
00:33:40,950 --> 00:33:43,130
mind?
I will say question everything

736
00:33:43,130 --> 00:33:45,410
and quite, you know, if you want
to take a risk or if you want to

737
00:33:45,410 --> 00:33:48,170
say something and you're like,
oh, or I want to maybe venture

738
00:33:48,170 --> 00:33:50,970
out into this new community or
business and like, you have that

739
00:33:50,970 --> 00:33:52,850
voice telling you not to, like,
question it.

740
00:33:52,850 --> 00:33:54,930
Like why don't we question the
voices in our head?

741
00:33:54,930 --> 00:33:56,570
Why are we so quick to just lay
over it?

742
00:33:56,570 --> 00:33:58,890
Like bend over and take it?
Like, you know, if the voices in

743
00:33:58,890 --> 00:34:01,250
your head tell you, no, you
can't do that, you shouldn't.

744
00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:03,610
Like, why aren't you saying,
well, why can't I do that?

745
00:34:03,610 --> 00:34:07,010
Like, actually learn to question
the voices in your head and what

746
00:34:07,010 --> 00:34:08,850
you're going to find that you're
just scared.

747
00:34:09,090 --> 00:34:10,610
You're scared and it's new for
you.

748
00:34:10,980 --> 00:34:12,420
Great.
You can talk to yourself through

749
00:34:12,420 --> 00:34:14,060
your fear.
You don't have to let your fear

750
00:34:14,060 --> 00:34:16,300
control you.
You can actually say, well, talk

751
00:34:16,300 --> 00:34:18,380
to yourself, Hey, I'm scared
right now.

752
00:34:18,380 --> 00:34:19,900
I don't do that.
OK, Tell me more about that.

753
00:34:19,900 --> 00:34:21,860
What are you afraid of?
Like, talk to yourself.

754
00:34:21,900 --> 00:34:23,860
I I, I know.
I just keep saying talk to

755
00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:25,380
yourself.
But it's really like, talk to

756
00:34:25,380 --> 00:34:26,659
yourself.
Like, who are you actually

757
00:34:26,659 --> 00:34:28,500
listening to?
What I want to know is, if

758
00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:31,219
you're not talking to yourself,
who is talking to you?

759
00:34:31,300 --> 00:34:33,699
Who's guiding you?
Who is the voice that's guiding

760
00:34:33,699 --> 00:34:35,060
you?
Because if you have 80 different

761
00:34:35,060 --> 00:34:37,060
voices in your head, I mean,
you're going to live a very

762
00:34:37,060 --> 00:34:38,780
scattered life.
You're going to be pulled in all

763
00:34:38,780 --> 00:34:41,489
directions.
Amidst all those voices in your

764
00:34:41,489 --> 00:34:43,449
head, you got to have one that
you anchor into.

765
00:34:43,530 --> 00:34:45,929
There's got to be at least one.
And that I call the voice of

766
00:34:45,929 --> 00:34:47,250
God.
That's your intuition.

767
00:34:47,250 --> 00:34:49,969
So in order to be able to do
that, one of the things that we

768
00:34:49,969 --> 00:34:52,610
can do is start questioning
everything in our head that

769
00:34:52,610 --> 00:34:55,850
tells us why we cannot do
something or why we should be

770
00:34:55,850 --> 00:34:57,890
afraid.
What you're going to find when

771
00:34:57,890 --> 00:35:00,170
you make peace with all the
voices in your head, you get the

772
00:35:00,170 --> 00:35:01,690
voices in your head.
Like, think of it as like a

773
00:35:01,690 --> 00:35:03,010
football team or a basketball
team.

774
00:35:03,490 --> 00:35:04,810
You have many different players
on a team.

775
00:35:04,810 --> 00:35:06,530
You have the lazy one, you have
the critical one.

776
00:35:06,530 --> 00:35:08,330
You have the cynical one.
You have an arrogant team

777
00:35:08,330 --> 00:35:09,330
player.
You have a you.

778
00:35:09,330 --> 00:35:11,530
You have one that thinks that
you know they're just entitled

779
00:35:11,530 --> 00:35:15,210
and you know we have so many
different players in our head.

780
00:35:15,210 --> 00:35:18,130
Your job is to be the coach.
To those voices in your head,

781
00:35:18,250 --> 00:35:20,050
how are you going to motivate
the lazy one?

782
00:35:20,050 --> 00:35:23,090
How are you going to infuse some
optimism in your pessimistic

783
00:35:23,090 --> 00:35:25,330
side of yourself?
How are you going to help the

784
00:35:25,490 --> 00:35:28,410
the very sad part of you feel a
little joy again, Right.

785
00:35:28,610 --> 00:35:31,260
It's all you.
It's always been you, but you've

786
00:35:31,260 --> 00:35:34,020
just been sold a lie that you
need something or someone out

787
00:35:34,020 --> 00:35:35,940
there to help you, including
God.

788
00:35:35,940 --> 00:35:38,340
If you look at religion, all you
need to go to church to believe

789
00:35:38,340 --> 00:35:40,620
in to get God's blessings.
No, you don't.

790
00:35:40,620 --> 00:35:42,700
God blesses me all the time,
whether I'm in the shower,

791
00:35:42,700 --> 00:35:44,740
toilet, or in my bed.
I don't need to go anywhere to

792
00:35:44,740 --> 00:35:46,980
receive God's blessings.
I am that.

793
00:35:46,980 --> 00:35:48,980
Yeah, that's a that's a famous
in you saying mine.

794
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,360
I am I am that I am right.
That's it's a that Mama see

795
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,120
that's Mama see is I am that.
Well, it's funny.

796
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,200
Before I go there, I was gonna
ask you, I love that coaching

797
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:02,160
analogy because we do have this
false sense that, you know, we

798
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,960
are single minded that we
operate with one.

799
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:06,560
Perspective.
But you're right.

800
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,760
There are so many different
voices in our ad and I think we

801
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,800
do need to play that role of
coach.

802
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,240
Now I was just gonna, this is
just a random question, but

803
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,520
every watch that show Ted Lasso
by any chance?

804
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:19,080
You know what you're The third
person was asked me about it.

805
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:20,920
I feel like I should give it
another shot.

806
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,520
I watched it and I was like, OK,
a bunch of white guys on TV, OK,

807
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,560
is this really fun?
I just couldn't get into it.

808
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,000
But I feel like you're like, the
third person that's told me

809
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,440
this.
Maybe I should try.

810
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,350
Yeah.
But, and it sounds like a random

811
00:36:31,350 --> 00:36:34,390
question but the reason I'm
bringing that up is if you watch

812
00:36:34,390 --> 00:36:36,670
that show and I was like you
when I first watched it, I I

813
00:36:36,670 --> 00:36:39,750
love Jason Sudeikis.
I I used to love him on SNL and

814
00:36:39,750 --> 00:36:41,870
you know, Horrible Bosses is one
of my favorite movies.

815
00:36:41,870 --> 00:36:45,190
But like the the thing I'm
bringing that up because on that

816
00:36:45,190 --> 00:36:48,310
show it's just a bunch of really
cynical pessimistic British

817
00:36:48,310 --> 00:36:51,790
people and he's just this you
know, aw shucks kind of guy

818
00:36:51,790 --> 00:36:54,390
from, you know Kansas City.
And you know he's just very it

819
00:36:54,390 --> 00:36:57,950
brings a ray of sunshine into
that I can sort of like now that

820
00:36:57,950 --> 00:37:00,150
I'm trying to better manage the
cast.

821
00:37:00,350 --> 00:37:02,710
In my head, that's something
maybe like try to be the Ted

822
00:37:02,710 --> 00:37:06,470
Lasso, the coach to all the the
different conflicting emotions

823
00:37:06,470 --> 00:37:08,430
in your head.
I will actually revisit the show

824
00:37:08,430 --> 00:37:11,910
again because yes, I love that.
I think maybe when I first saw

825
00:37:11,910 --> 00:37:13,990
it I was like, OK, let me just
try to watch it, but I'll, I

826
00:37:13,990 --> 00:37:16,710
will watch it again with more
gusto, maybe with the more open

827
00:37:16,710 --> 00:37:18,670
mind.
Yeah, yeah, I I, I highly

828
00:37:18,670 --> 00:37:21,270
recommend it.
Now, we we did talk earlier

829
00:37:21,270 --> 00:37:24,110
about this, and you're so right
about how it can be sort of

830
00:37:24,110 --> 00:37:27,310
frustrating to see just the
cooptic of a lot of things that

831
00:37:27,310 --> 00:37:30,230
in our culture have been passed
down from centuries.

832
00:37:30,350 --> 00:37:32,470
And it's, you know, something
that we grew up with and kind of

833
00:37:32,470 --> 00:37:34,950
rolled our eyes about like you
know, meditation and yoga.

834
00:37:34,950 --> 00:37:38,510
But if I recall correctly, when
I think it is something that has

835
00:37:38,590 --> 00:37:41,950
been a big part of of your life
and the spirituality of

836
00:37:41,950 --> 00:37:44,790
wondering if you could talk a
little bit more about maybe some

837
00:37:44,790 --> 00:37:48,190
of your practices maybe of of
how you whether it's meditation

838
00:37:48,190 --> 00:37:50,630
or or yoga, if you could go into
that a little bit.

839
00:37:50,670 --> 00:37:53,990
Yeah, this is what I do.
I I wake up pretty much every

840
00:37:53,990 --> 00:37:56,830
day, with or without an alarm.
At like 630.

841
00:37:56,830 --> 00:37:59,370
I cuddle with my dog.
I say thank you, God, for

842
00:37:59,370 --> 00:38:02,050
another day alive out loud.
I make my bed.

843
00:38:02,050 --> 00:38:03,930
I brush my teeth.
I wash my face.

844
00:38:04,210 --> 00:38:06,850
I change into my clothes, like
walking clothes.

845
00:38:07,170 --> 00:38:08,930
I go downstairs.
I feed my dog.

846
00:38:08,930 --> 00:38:12,050
I play music like a little jazz.
Or if I want to play some Hindu

847
00:38:12,050 --> 00:38:14,770
mantras, like there's a
Suprabatham, which is where we

848
00:38:14,770 --> 00:38:16,130
play this first thing in the
morning.

849
00:38:16,290 --> 00:38:18,330
I'll see what I feel like.
Listening to every day is

850
00:38:18,330 --> 00:38:21,490
different, but every day has
like few key elements.

851
00:38:21,490 --> 00:38:24,250
And then I make my beautiful
milk latte feed my dog.

852
00:38:24,370 --> 00:38:25,970
Let her out.
And then I walk.

853
00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:28,890
I walk 10,000 steps a day.
That's just like it's easy for

854
00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:31,010
me to hit.
And I don't get them all done in

855
00:38:31,010 --> 00:38:33,050
the morning.
Like, you know, the other day I

856
00:38:33,050 --> 00:38:35,410
had like back-to-back clients,
but I have pockets of time in

857
00:38:35,410 --> 00:38:37,050
between, so I make sure I knock
them out.

858
00:38:37,050 --> 00:38:39,450
In between.
I love moving in in the morning.

859
00:38:39,530 --> 00:38:43,290
I mean I have a lot of creative
energy and if I do not move it,

860
00:38:43,290 --> 00:38:46,250
it gets stuck and it will almost
turn into irritability.

861
00:38:46,250 --> 00:38:47,850
I get irritable when I don't
move.

862
00:38:47,850 --> 00:38:50,210
I mean, I can actually feel my
mind getting aggressive and

863
00:38:50,290 --> 00:38:52,970
almost attacking me in a way.
So that's what I do and then I

864
00:38:53,210 --> 00:38:55,170
I'll start my day, you know, all
that or take a.

865
00:38:55,330 --> 00:38:56,970
Hour or do whatever.
And then I have a usually have a

866
00:38:56,970 --> 00:38:59,850
client or a podcast interview or
or something and some days I

867
00:38:59,850 --> 00:39:01,930
don't have anything, you know,
and I prefer it that way.

868
00:39:01,930 --> 00:39:05,250
Like my Mondays are now wide
open, I'll do a dance class or

869
00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:07,490
I'll do something else and my
Fridays I like to be done by

870
00:39:07,490 --> 00:39:09,890
like 1 and then Saturday and
Sunday I don't really don't like

871
00:39:09,890 --> 00:39:12,190
to have anything on there.
Unless I'm officiating a

872
00:39:12,190 --> 00:39:14,630
wedding, which is one of my
revenue streams, I'm not one of

873
00:39:14,630 --> 00:39:16,830
those people that likes to have
back-to-back stuff on my

874
00:39:16,830 --> 00:39:18,870
calendar.
I don't pride myself on being

875
00:39:18,870 --> 00:39:22,110
busy all the time.
You're not into a hustle culture

876
00:39:22,110 --> 00:39:23,630
than it sounds.
No, I hustle.

877
00:39:23,630 --> 00:39:24,950
I just.
I'm a smart.

878
00:39:24,950 --> 00:39:28,070
But I mean just like the.
Yeah, no, I'm I'm a creative

879
00:39:28,070 --> 00:39:31,910
being and I cannot burnout and
be the person that I am.

880
00:39:31,910 --> 00:39:34,630
I mean, I I can go there.
I can go, I can burnout it

881
00:39:34,630 --> 00:39:36,350
really quick if I wanted to.
I know how.

882
00:39:37,060 --> 00:39:39,620
But I choose not to anymore.
It's not even getting as much

883
00:39:39,620 --> 00:39:41,460
work done.
I want to not even say that.

884
00:39:41,460 --> 00:39:44,980
I'm just very clear on what my
priorities are and I'm not

885
00:39:44,980 --> 00:39:47,820
trying to do the most.
I'm very focused on my podcast,

886
00:39:48,140 --> 00:39:50,640
my book.
My speaking opportunities.

887
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,760
I'm getting into voiceover now
as a career as another revenue

888
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:55,160
stream.
I have my real estate property

889
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:56,920
in Mexico.
Like I'm my plate is full.

890
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,600
So I want to have what's on my
plate and do it well.

891
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,960
You know, like my property in
Mexico that's running on

892
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,840
autopilot so I don't have to
worry about that.

893
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:07,280
I can now I have space for other
stuff and it's just about being

894
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:09,320
honest with yourself about what
you want, claiming what you

895
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,000
want, saying it out loud.
You did mention this a little

896
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,400
bit, Vasavi, but you talked
about coaching.

897
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,800
I was wondering, is that
something you're still actively

898
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,040
doing or is that like where is
that?

899
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:20,360
Fit in.
And if you could talk to me a

900
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,120
little bit more about maybe your
the types of clients you help

901
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,920
and maybe if there's specific
success stories you could point

902
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,800
to, I'd love to hear about that.
Yes, I actually just shared this

903
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,760
in my stories.
I'm very grateful.

904
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,440
I have room for two more
one-on-one clients.

905
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:35,560
So I work with clients in a few
different capacities.

906
00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:37,800
One is my say it out loud group
program.

907
00:40:38,340 --> 00:40:41,740
It's a 12 week program based off
the 12 chapters in my book.

908
00:40:41,740 --> 00:40:43,740
I've been running this program
for the past year.

909
00:40:43,740 --> 00:40:46,380
Even without the book, people
just trusted me to join the

910
00:40:46,380 --> 00:40:48,820
group and I have my manuscript.
I've created this group just

911
00:40:48,820 --> 00:40:51,300
based on my manuscript.
I created a 12 week group, so I

912
00:40:51,300 --> 00:40:53,860
have a group program.
The next round starts in August,

913
00:40:53,860 --> 00:40:56,380
which will be great because
anyone who joins the group will

914
00:40:56,380 --> 00:40:58,820
now have the book.
I have a roster of one-on-one

915
00:40:58,820 --> 00:41:01,860
clients at any given time, so I
have weekly clients that I work

916
00:41:01,860 --> 00:41:04,140
with and I'm also a licensed
therapist in the state of Texas.

917
00:41:04,140 --> 00:41:07,340
So everything I do is always
through a psychological lens.

918
00:41:07,420 --> 00:41:09,500
I look at everything.
Through a psychological lens.

919
00:41:09,580 --> 00:41:12,580
And I also look at your
communication, what you're

920
00:41:12,580 --> 00:41:14,500
telling yourself, what you're
telling others, your

921
00:41:14,500 --> 00:41:17,260
storytelling, what story you're
telling yourself, what story

922
00:41:17,260 --> 00:41:20,100
you're telling others.
And I also have one-on-one

923
00:41:20,100 --> 00:41:22,140
clients.
I don't take on a lot of these

924
00:41:22,220 --> 00:41:23,780
because it's a lot of heavy
lifting.

925
00:41:23,980 --> 00:41:27,060
My full access package, which is
you have weekly calls with me

926
00:41:27,060 --> 00:41:29,740
and you get access to me through
Voxerve and those are my full

927
00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:32,220
access package clients.
And we work together 90 days at

928
00:41:32,220 --> 00:41:34,620
a time and they renew.
But these are like people that

929
00:41:34,620 --> 00:41:37,460
I'm getting really into their
life and understanding them and

930
00:41:37,580 --> 00:41:39,980
they're busy.
Like my, my, my, the clients

931
00:41:39,980 --> 00:41:42,180
that I have that are full
access, they're busy.

932
00:41:42,180 --> 00:41:45,100
I mean, they are, I mean nurses,
there are dark psychiatrists

933
00:41:45,100 --> 00:41:47,460
running their own practice.
There are other pocket people

934
00:41:47,460 --> 00:41:50,620
running like big companies and
they just need someone to talk

935
00:41:50,620 --> 00:41:53,780
to and someone who gets the high
level conversation of what's

936
00:41:53,780 --> 00:41:55,500
going on.
But I will say the number one

937
00:41:55,500 --> 00:41:58,340
thing that I, I seem to attract
clients and I think it's.

938
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,800
I don't know why and I don't
need to analyze it, but it's

939
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:04,320
always like, oh, I'm really good
at this area in my life, but in

940
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,880
this one area, this is where I
struggle the most and it happens

941
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:11,480
to be personal relationships.
How to be in person.

942
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:13,320
How to be authentic and personal
relationships.

943
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,360
So it's interesting and I people
don't get this enough.

944
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,280
It's like the quality of your
business, the quality of your

945
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:22,160
money, the quality of your
career is it is directly

946
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,760
reflected by you know, the
quality of your relationships.

947
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:26,880
Not only the relationship that
you have with yourself, but

948
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,560
relationship your partner, you
know, your friends, your family.

949
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:34,520
So I love working with people
who are very self aware already,

950
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,560
but there's just like an added
nuance that they're looking for

951
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,340
which I think I.
My brain and my mind and my

952
00:42:40,340 --> 00:42:42,980
lived experience and my
professional experience really

953
00:42:42,980 --> 00:42:46,300
just gives me that advantage.
I'm able to read way beneath the

954
00:42:46,300 --> 00:42:49,300
surface because I have to, I
have to learn, you know, even

955
00:42:49,300 --> 00:42:51,620
from a very young age, even
before I was diagnosed, you

956
00:42:51,620 --> 00:42:53,860
know, So that's how I'm
currently working with people.

957
00:42:53,860 --> 00:42:57,420
So and I do VIP days as well.
So I love VIP days because it's

958
00:42:57,420 --> 00:43:00,460
like get in, get out.
We do a three hour day together,

959
00:43:00,540 --> 00:43:02,780
solve a problem, we go.
And you know, a lot of times

960
00:43:02,780 --> 00:43:04,860
when people come to me for that,
it's all I want to get clear on

961
00:43:04,860 --> 00:43:07,300
my messaging, I wanted to clear
my offering or I have a keynote

962
00:43:07,300 --> 00:43:10,740
speech and I need help with.
It so I like to bring the best

963
00:43:10,740 --> 00:43:12,580
parts of me.
Nikhil, you know, I'm a licensed

964
00:43:12,580 --> 00:43:15,180
therapist, I'm a coach.
I'm a former TV host.

965
00:43:15,260 --> 00:43:17,500
I've been a podcaster for radio
show.

966
00:43:17,660 --> 00:43:20,340
And I'm also just a human being
who's gone through a lot of

967
00:43:20,340 --> 00:43:23,940
stuff and has publicly shared
her stuff out loud so as to help

968
00:43:23,940 --> 00:43:26,740
another person.
So when it comes to speaking and

969
00:43:26,740 --> 00:43:29,900
sharing your story out loud in a
way that's like not watered down

970
00:43:29,900 --> 00:43:32,420
and bland and basic, which I
think most people do because

971
00:43:32,420 --> 00:43:35,660
they're afraid to share emotion,
I'm the best person to work with

972
00:43:35,660 --> 00:43:37,700
because everything is
vibrational, right?

973
00:43:38,060 --> 00:43:40,820
So if I'm hearing you talk and
I'm not feeling anything, then

974
00:43:40,820 --> 00:43:44,820
imagine how your audience feels,
yeah. 100%, I mean, I think one

975
00:43:44,820 --> 00:43:47,060
thing that really just comes
across that I think a lot of

976
00:43:47,060 --> 00:43:50,580
people could benefit from you is
just being real and just.

977
00:43:51,220 --> 00:43:53,220
Just saying it, you know, just
getting it out there, I think,

978
00:43:53,220 --> 00:43:56,060
and then I suffer from this a
lot too, is just sometimes

979
00:43:56,220 --> 00:43:59,380
being, like, overly deliberate
and rethinking what you're gonna

980
00:43:59,380 --> 00:44:01,740
say just if you screw up.
I mean, who gives a shit?

981
00:44:01,820 --> 00:44:03,020
Right.
But it's not screwing up.

982
00:44:03,020 --> 00:44:04,940
You cannot screw up when you're
being yourself.

983
00:44:04,940 --> 00:44:05,980
I'm glad that you're saying
this.

984
00:44:06,180 --> 00:44:08,860
You cannot screw.
I mean, listen, it's OK to be

985
00:44:08,860 --> 00:44:11,980
deliberate.
It's OK to like, not just spew

986
00:44:11,980 --> 00:44:14,020
shit, right?
Like, please think before you

987
00:44:14,020 --> 00:44:17,940
talk, but don't overthink it to
the point where you're now like

988
00:44:17,940 --> 00:44:21,140
taking, stripping away your
personality, just kind of like.

989
00:44:21,220 --> 00:44:23,660
Like saying it out loud doesn't
mean that you're loud.

990
00:44:23,700 --> 00:44:27,300
You are speaking from a very
clear place.

991
00:44:27,460 --> 00:44:31,140
It's not from a oh, I need your
approval or I need to package

992
00:44:31,140 --> 00:44:32,500
this.
I need to say I don't.

993
00:44:32,820 --> 00:44:34,900
We don't time for that.
I don't have time for.

994
00:44:34,900 --> 00:44:37,740
I literally do not have the
mental space or time to

995
00:44:37,740 --> 00:44:41,020
construct my words in the most
perfect way possible to make

996
00:44:41,020 --> 00:44:43,600
sure that I am.
Not misunderstood.

997
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:46,800
I don't have time to do that.
I am clear on where I'm coming

998
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:48,400
from.
I want everyone listening to

999
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,760
this is like, you need to know
the purity of your heart.

1000
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:52,640
You need to know where you're
coming from.

1001
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,840
Be at peace with yourself and
speak from that place.

1002
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,840
Anytime I say something out
there, I make sure like it's

1003
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,360
coming from a I'm not charged by
this anger.

1004
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:02,880
Like I'm not gonna spew shit
right.

1005
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:04,800
You can be angry.
There's nothing wrong with

1006
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:06,680
anger.
Anger is a great emotion for

1007
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:08,560
change.
You know, I think it's important

1008
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:11,120
that we discern where is this
coming from?

1009
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:13,720
Am I doing this for approval?
Am I doing this for validation

1010
00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:16,160
or am I doing this because this
is on my heart and someone needs

1011
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,080
to hear it?
Like just it's your vibe.

1012
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,360
Where are you coming from?
Well, and and then going back to

1013
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,280
what I was saying earlier, boss,
so he's just, it's since the

1014
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,840
culture element too, right.
I think because we grew up in

1015
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,880
this society where we had to
pardon the pun, we had to kind

1016
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:31,760
of whitewash ourselves, no.
And fit into this square peg and

1017
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:33,320
around all.
So a lot of that is

1018
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:37,040
Americanizing our accents.
That's one of the things that I

1019
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,680
find very refreshing is that as
a South Asian, we don't see a

1020
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:41,600
lot of people like yourself who
are.

1021
00:45:41,970 --> 00:45:44,810
Out there really just banging
the drum for authenticity.

1022
00:45:44,810 --> 00:45:47,050
So you know my my hats off to
you on all that.

1023
00:45:47,250 --> 00:45:49,090
Thank you.
One question that I always ask

1024
00:45:49,250 --> 00:45:52,210
my guests is the title.
Our podcast is Untether Your

1025
00:45:52,210 --> 00:45:55,330
Life and we talked earlier about
what that means which is just

1026
00:45:55,450 --> 00:45:57,770
breaking free of templates.
Whether it's you know about

1027
00:45:57,770 --> 00:46:01,730
managing your health, managing
your career, breaking out a lot

1028
00:46:01,730 --> 00:46:05,010
of those tan scripts for
success, especially the South

1029
00:46:05,010 --> 00:46:07,130
Asians.
I think we tend to fall into

1030
00:46:07,130 --> 00:46:09,810
that complacency of 1 track
might of.

1031
00:46:10,170 --> 00:46:12,730
What successfully looks like,
and you've definitely done that,

1032
00:46:12,730 --> 00:46:15,330
I mean, you've had some pretty
low times, but you're doing

1033
00:46:15,330 --> 00:46:19,210
amazing stuff and and really as
I said, it might all praise to

1034
00:46:19,210 --> 00:46:22,650
you for that.
How would you advise listeners,

1035
00:46:22,650 --> 00:46:25,810
how would you counsel listeners
on how they can untether their

1036
00:46:25,810 --> 00:46:28,090
lives?
I would first make a list of all

1037
00:46:28,090 --> 00:46:30,290
the areas in your life that you
feel tethered.

1038
00:46:30,370 --> 00:46:32,530
What do you feel like you just
can't let go of?

1039
00:46:32,610 --> 00:46:34,050
Oh, I can't let go of my
paycheck.

1040
00:46:34,050 --> 00:46:36,090
I can't let go of my 401K.
I can't let go.

1041
00:46:36,130 --> 00:46:38,090
And I'm not saying to let go of
any of that, right?

1042
00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:41,060
But it's just to look at where
do you feel tethered?

1043
00:46:41,180 --> 00:46:45,420
And instead of feeling tethered,
how can you release the tension

1044
00:46:45,420 --> 00:46:47,180
a little bit, right?
What can you do to have more

1045
00:46:47,180 --> 00:46:49,580
spaciousness?
Maybe you hate your job, but

1046
00:46:49,580 --> 00:46:51,700
you're tethered to it because
you have a family and you have a

1047
00:46:51,700 --> 00:46:54,540
family of four to feed.
OK, maybe you can ask your boss,

1048
00:46:54,540 --> 00:46:56,060
just let you do some remote
work.

1049
00:46:56,060 --> 00:46:58,460
Or maybe you change your hours,
or you start something on the

1050
00:46:58,460 --> 00:46:59,700
side.
I don't know, but you can.

1051
00:46:59,980 --> 00:47:02,700
Just because you're tethered to
1 area does not mean that you

1052
00:47:02,700 --> 00:47:06,300
can't create something else.
So this is not about untethering

1053
00:47:06,300 --> 00:47:08,810
your life, although it is.
But it's merely looking at where

1054
00:47:08,810 --> 00:47:11,730
am I tethered and what can I do
to balance that out, Right.

1055
00:47:11,730 --> 00:47:13,970
Like, oh, I'm doing a lot here.
And right now I'm not in a

1056
00:47:13,970 --> 00:47:15,090
position to leave.
Fine.

1057
00:47:15,090 --> 00:47:17,330
And no one's I don't believe in,
like, quit your job, do this.

1058
00:47:17,330 --> 00:47:17,690
No.
Why?

1059
00:47:17,690 --> 00:47:19,210
You can still.
You can be all all anxious.

1060
00:47:19,210 --> 00:47:20,970
No thank you.
No need to do that.

1061
00:47:21,170 --> 00:47:23,010
But like, what can you do to
balance that?

1062
00:47:23,050 --> 00:47:25,930
OK, so I have a very I have a
job that requires me to be very

1063
00:47:25,930 --> 00:47:27,450
logical, and I feel tethered by
that.

1064
00:47:27,450 --> 00:47:29,170
OK, great.
Do you have a creative outlet?

1065
00:47:29,740 --> 00:47:32,220
Find a creative outlet, right?
It doesn't have to be either, or

1066
00:47:32,220 --> 00:47:35,300
we get to actually bring
different parts of us to our

1067
00:47:35,300 --> 00:47:37,500
life.
And then you hit it on the head.

1068
00:47:37,500 --> 00:47:41,180
It doesn't have to be this black
and white binary, like all or

1069
00:47:41,180 --> 00:47:43,460
nothing.
Like I'm making six figures.

1070
00:47:43,460 --> 00:47:46,340
I'm in a stable job, but now I'm
scrounging around to figure out

1071
00:47:46,340 --> 00:47:48,500
that next where my next meal's
gotta come from.

1072
00:47:48,500 --> 00:47:50,500
It doesn't need to be that
traumatic.

1073
00:47:50,500 --> 00:47:53,450
Sometimes that is needed.
But I think that's where people

1074
00:47:53,450 --> 00:47:56,210
get stuck as they think that
they need to make this grand

1075
00:47:56,210 --> 00:47:58,330
gesture and that they end up
second guessing.

1076
00:47:58,410 --> 00:48:00,770
It's it's the whole saying, Rome
wasn't built in a day.

1077
00:48:00,930 --> 00:48:04,290
So anything else we want to
touch on Vasavi before we before

1078
00:48:04,410 --> 00:48:06,770
we wrap up.
No, I feel weird about this,

1079
00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:08,490
Yeah.
OK, awesome.

1080
00:48:08,730 --> 00:48:11,410
And so if people are looking to
find out more about you or your

1081
00:48:11,410 --> 00:48:14,930
book, please, please share how
they can either get a hold of

1082
00:48:14,930 --> 00:48:17,370
you or find out more about
Vasavi and say it out loud.

1083
00:48:17,870 --> 00:48:20,430
Thank you Go to Say it out loud
book.com.

1084
00:48:20,430 --> 00:48:23,230
You can order my book from
everywhere Amazon Target Barnes

1085
00:48:23,230 --> 00:48:25,870
and Noble water stones.
I mean Booktopia.

1086
00:48:25,870 --> 00:48:28,110
I mean everywhere
books-a-million.

1087
00:48:28,110 --> 00:48:31,590
And what I want to emphasize is
when you order make sure you go

1088
00:48:31,590 --> 00:48:33,270
back to say it out loud.
book.com.

1089
00:48:33,270 --> 00:48:36,070
Enter in your order number and
then you will get access to my

1090
00:48:36,070 --> 00:48:38,270
bonuses.
So say it out loud. book.com.

1091
00:48:38,270 --> 00:48:40,790
If you like this episode with me
and Nick Hill make sure you tag

1092
00:48:40,790 --> 00:48:43,790
us both On Instagram you are
untether your life.

1093
00:48:43,950 --> 00:48:45,390
Yep.
And on Instagram I am.

1094
00:48:45,390 --> 00:48:47,790
My name is Vasavi is my full
hand.

1095
00:48:47,990 --> 00:48:49,950
My name is Vasavi.
Feel free to send me a voice

1096
00:48:49,950 --> 00:48:52,310
note or yeah, tag us.
Tag us in your stories.

1097
00:48:52,310 --> 00:48:53,910
Let us know that you enjoyed
this episode.

1098
00:48:53,990 --> 00:48:55,630
Awesome.
Thanks so much Vasavi.

1099
00:48:55,630 --> 00:48:57,790
It was awesome having you on.
Thanks Nico.

1100
00:48:59,950 --> 00:49:02,390
Thanks so much for listening,
and I hope you enjoyed that

1101
00:49:02,390 --> 00:49:04,510
episode.
For more of these types of

1102
00:49:04,510 --> 00:49:07,790
conversations, please visit us
at untetheryourlife.co.

1103
00:49:08,670 --> 00:49:10,950
You can also find us on
Instagram and Untether your

1104
00:49:10,950 --> 00:49:14,630
life, as well as on Apple,
Spotify, and other platforms by

1105
00:49:14,630 --> 00:49:16,230
searching for Untether Your
Life.

1106
00:49:17,030 --> 00:49:19,270
And if you did enjoy this
episode, please leave us a

1107
00:49:19,270 --> 00:49:21,990
review or share it with someone
who might also benefit.

1108
00:49:22,750 --> 00:49:26,150
Thanks, and until the next time
we meet, stay untethered.